Spectator Life

With Britain’s theatres closed until at least late autumn, enthusiasts have had to rely on the internet – and streaming archive recordings of hit plays – to get their fill. Following our first round-up of plays to watch in lockdown, here are eight other shows you might like to get stuck in to: Hamilton, Disney+ (from 3 July)Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Final Performance In “Hamilton” On Broadway Disney had originally planned to release an original-cast recording of its globe-conquering musical next autumn. But with the pandemic the media giant chose to bring the whole thing forward, making Hamilton available – through its Disney+ subscription service – from 3 July.

If you’re a coffee lover and can’t comprehend mornings without a strong cup, now might be the perfect time to invest in a machine that will stand the test of time. After all, it’s going to be a while before we can rely on a barista to whip us up a cup on the way to work. Bean to Cup Machines These machines take roasted coffee beans and grind them for you, pouring water through the ground beans and into a drip pot or a cup below. Often the more expensive coffee machines, as they have more moving parts and automate some of the process for you. Filter Coffee Machines You will be familiar with these kinds of machines and will have probably comes across them in one way or another in the past, either in the home or office.

Are toasties the ultimate comfort food? For me, they have to be in the top three at the very least. Toasties mean late nights or early suppers; they mean eating in the kitchen, standing up, or sitting on the sofa, probably in your pyjamas; they mean picking the little bits of escaped melted cheese from the pan before you plate them. They mean waning hangovers and catch-ups with close friends; they mean solitude and they mean company; they mean ease and speed, a direct route to something crisp and hot and oozing. But crucially, toasties are completely delicious. They don’t rely on nostalgia (although I have plenty of nostalgia for them) to deliver their comfort, they aren’t bland nursery food, or esoteric family favourites. Toasties hold their own.

It’s official – in the words of ’60s R ‘n’ B duo Sam and Dave, I’m a Soul man. A Kia Soul man, that is, after driving the decidedly impressive new electric version of the funk-laden four-door which became available to buy….. just as we were told not to make any journey not regarded as ‘essential’.

Even as we experience a momentary hiatus from the onslaught of superhero films, it is hard not to feel that the whole genre has been unnecessarily debased. There is nothing especially wrong with the vast majority of Marvel films, but they are the cinematic equivalent of a visit to Byron or Nando’s; enjoyable while it lasts, good enough not to feel guilty afterwards but formulaic and unadventurous in the extreme. The aversion to risk-taking might make financial sense, to the tune of billions, but artistically it is often disappointing. No wonder Martin Scorsese dismissed them as ‘theme park rides, not cinema’. Which is why, on the occasions that a filmmaker does move outside the confines of the genre, the results are often hugely stimulating.

“Wire your booze cabinet up to the mains so you can’t get into it!” says Jason Fox, the former Royal Marine Commando and Special Forces Sergeant who’s best known for barking orders on Channel 4’s SAS: Who Dares Wins. With wine o’clock starting earlier each day for many of us, as we crawl the walls in isolation, I’ve asked Jason for his take on lockdown drinking. “It’s not the answer really. It’s great fun and I enjoy having a drink, but I won’t allow myself to drink all day. It doesn’t make you feel better about yourself.

Difficult facts can be conveyed in a sensitive, non-judgemental and compassionate manner; indeed, this describes the daily practise of medicine. When obesity rears its head, however, a significant number of my colleagues in the health professions display a cognitive dissonance and determination to deprive patients of the unvarnished facts that they would not dare hide with conditions such as cancer. Prioritising their own “feelings”, they patronise the obese by taking offence on their behalf, preferring to virtue-signal, accusing those “ insensitive “ enough to want to state the facts of “fat shaming” or victim-blaming.

Even when lockdown ends in Britain it may be a while longer before international borders begin to reopen. But not being able to hop on a flight doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy an exotic escape. There are plenty of beautiful spots across the British Isles that make you feel as though you’re hundreds of miles from home. Here is our pick of the best. Somerset Lavender Farm, Somerset Sipping a coffee al fresco and gazing over the lilacy haze of fields at this family-run farm, you’d think you were in deepest Provence. In fact you’re just 10 miles from the UNESCO world heritage city of Bath and right on the fringes of the Cotswold Hills. The working farm has around 50,000 plants, including five acres of different types of lavender and a rose garden.

A few blocks away are hipster-dense streets with street art and coffee shops. But around Lee Avenue in Williamsburg, it’s as if time has stood still. Men in white knee socks, high hats and coats from another century rush by. Women wearing wigs or shawls on their heads. Here are kosher grocery stores, synagogues and a mikvah – a ritual Jewish bath. It is an enclave few outsiders get real insight into. In the middle of the New York City, the Hasidic community – fundamentalist ultra-Orthodox Jews – practice strict gender segregation, distancing themselves from Western modern society without television, cinema and pop music. This is the environment in which 19-year-old Esty grows up in Netflix’s new series Unorthodox.

Around 17.7 million people are celebrating their birthday on any given day of the year. For the millions of us who will be marking birthdays, celebrating wedding anniversaries or throwing baby showers while in lockdown, there are still ways to make the day special. With just a bit of creativity and the power of technology, here’s how to throw a top party from self-isolation. Wine and cheese nightTell all of your guests to purchase the same cheese selection box and ask each to pick a wine or two to pair with them. Then organise a video call so everyone can explain their selections and discuss the merits of a Somerset goat versus a Cornish Yarg. Selections of artisan cheeses can be ordered online from specialist retailers such as Pong Cheese and The Cheese Society.

For some reason I unwaveringly support unearned wealth, but only if you are one of the Windsor children or any titled subjects who have somehow managed to keep a few pennies together. Frankly if in 2020 you’ve figured out how to monetize your ancestral money pit then all power to you. Other than this lot, the moneyed scions of the international parvenus can bring out my inner comrade. They come from all over and when you edit a luxury magazine, they pop up on the radar a fair amount. Each year, I am required for work to spend a week in Los Angeles to get covers booked and do some groundbreaking journalism on local hat makers and tailors.

“I don’t like dropping names,” says Haks Oscar, when I ask him about his celebrity clients, “but we’ve got several – from Hugh Grant to Jose Mourinho.” The Chelsea based barber has been cutting hair for 33 years, and the tradition has been in his family for five generations. “We are, what I call, the old school real barbers,” says Haks, who’s transported by private jet to attend to the tresses of Saudi royalty, “whenever they require.” His King’s Road barbershop in Chelsea has even had princely posteriors in its seats. “We have members of royalty from various countries that, as a family, come over on their private jet, just for their haircuts, then go back.” Crikey.

The perfect mini series is an elusive beast. In the pre-Sky and Netflix era, you’d get the DVD and it would last you a few weeks (back then, reading books was still a thing), lend it to friends, and fawn over it at dinner parties for the next few months. Yet back then we were watching less, didn’t have much choice, and consequently, weren’t so picky. The rise of on-demand TV was like moving from small town to the big city: our standards jumped, except this time, the dumped girlfriend was ITV, and the new belle was Sky Atlantic. When there’s so much new TV to choose from, it’s rather difficult to pick.

For those with work to do and kids to homeschool, the idea that you might have lots more time on your hands amid the coronavirus lockdown probably seems like a bad joke. But for those who have a bit of extra reading time to make the most of, here are five crime fiction series to help pass the lockdown hours: The LA Quartet, James Ellroy James Ellroy L.A. Confidential (Cornerstone) James Ellroy is well deserving of his status as the pre-eminent crime fiction writer of our times, and for those yet to discover the demonic delights of his oeuvre, the original ‘LA Quartet’ is definitely the place to start.

At the moment, what everyone needs is a good laugh. This doesn’t necessarily mean that the funniest comedies have to exist in their own bubble; many of the best examples of the genre have held a mirror up to society, in all its complexity and absurdity. But then many also manage to divert and entertain on their own terms, too. Whether you’re into jet-black political satire, deceptively clever romantic comedies or broad farce, there’s something here for everyone. Even if humour remains the most personal of inclinations, these half-dozen masterpieces are endlessly, hilariously rewatchable. The Death of Stalin https://www.youtube.com/watch?

1. Flattening the curve No, it’s not some sort of fat-burning home workout (though these have become extremely popular since the quarantine hit). Rather, this is about slowing the spread to reduce the burden on our NHS. A flatter infection curve will save the health service from ruin and mean that, when this thing finally tails off, we can all go out to the pub again and stop worrying about our curves for good. Mine’s a pork pie and a pint. 2. The Wuhan Shake Designed to minimise hand-to-hand contact, these dreadfully awkward gestures have been adopted in business meetings the world over. From serious-looking politicians to sports stars and celebs, everyone’s at it.

Spoilers can get people very irate indeed, so if that’s you, I’d suggested leaving this page pronto. What follows is a celebration of films that end with a brilliant twist, from classics to more recent gems. Even when you know what’s coming, there is still plenty of fun to be had through a rewatch… Planet of the Apes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjcpRHuPjOI Not only is Planet of the Apes still a fantastic sci-fi film from the pre-CGI age, but is also features perhaps the most dramatic and memorable twist in film history. Having survived his ordeal on a strange planet run by a load of highly-evolved simians, Charlton Heston’s George Taylor discovers the shocking fact that he is not quite as far away from home as he thought was.

London feels very different from the city it was a few weeks ago. Restaurants are closed, the tubes are empty save for key workers, and Soho is a ghost town. We can’t eat out, or go to bars or pubs; many are struggling to get hold of even basic supplies, like eggs and flour. But a number of food businesses have shown extraordinary tenacity, ingenuity and spirit in the way they have dealt with the daily changes to our lockdown situation, manipulating their business models, and pivoting to delivery services. We’ve collated a list of independent food stores or producers who are delivering in London at the moment. Please visit individual suppliers for delivery time estimates, as most are slightly longer than normal due to the current Covid-19 situation.

Continuing in the vein of the last couple of weeks of Vintage Chef columns, this week’s recipe is designed to make the most of common ingredients, and give maximum reward for minimum effort with these incredibly simple flatbreads. Last week, I wrote about the joy that baking can bring even in adverse circumstances, how it remained a source of solace to me in this brave new world. These flatbreads are joyful (warm, pliable, smoky from the griddle), but when I make them, I tend not to be seeking joy as much as stability. These flatbreads require so little: no yeast, no proving time, no kneading – they don’t even need an oven. And it takes – from bag of flour to stuffing it in your mouth – about ten minutes.

While the coronavirus has paralysed the West End, theatre-lovers do have some small consolation. Several theatres have released recordings of their previous shows, some of which will be aired on television. Here are eight to watch out for: One Man, Two Guvnors James Corden stars in One Man, Two Guvnors Youtube (2 – 9 April only) Less a play and more an institution, Richard Bean’s globe-conquering comedy had sell-out audiences roaring with laughter in both London and New York. You can see why, then, the National would choose it as the first play for its NT at Home scheme, which will see a different play streamed online each week. After all, who couldn’t do with a laugh right now?

All you carefree millennials sans famille – spare a thought for parents currently in lockdown. While twenty-somethings may be secretly rubbing their hands with glee at the chance to catch up on their books bucket list or work their way through Netflix over the next three months, there is no such joy for parents. The announcement that schools were due to close was met with a mild look of panic by every parent I know – we’ve all become teachers overnight, except without the PGCE or the crowd control skills, all whilst holding down the day job. Wish us luck. Fortunately, in the age of the internet, plenty of help is at hand online.

In the midst of the greatest threat to individual liberty – not to mention health and livelihood – that most of us have experienced in our lives, it is a sad inevitability that the hospitality industry has taken the first economic hit. What we don’t know at the moment is if this is a recoverable, if irritating, situation that can be overcome with patience, good humour and forbearance, or if it spells the end of many of the interesting drinking and dining options that we have in this country. Yet there is something that individuals can do to support their local restaurant rather than simply writing posts of solidarity on social media (and those help, too).