Spectator Life

When you hear the word ‘stockpiling’, the first thought that pops into your head is probably the image of forest-dwelling folk in remote reaches of the US, usually bearded, always armed, with hunting vests, baseball caps, a few tonnes of canned food buried beneath their shack and enough kerosene to defrost Svalbard. Yet with the prospect of a hard Brexit edging ever closer, stockpiling has become a major pastime of businesses across the UK. The Economist have set aside 30 tonnes of paper to print their magazine, whilst Majestic have secured up to 1.5 million bottles of wine (should the worst happen, I know which warehouse I’ll be looting). Medicines and food are also being stored in bulk.

Anyone who has recently tried to buy a second-hand van will know that they have become difficult to find at sensible money – so much so, in fact, that a leading British broadsheet recently felt moved to report on the boom in sales, citing one of the major ‘drivers’ being the increase in people turning to courier work after being laid-off from their previous jobs due to the economic downturn caused by Coronavirus.

Even with filming and production stalled, Netflix is set to deliver an impressive slate of new content this autumn. From the return of Olivia Colman as Queen Elizabeth II in The Crown to new work from Aaron Sorkin and David Fincher, here’s our guide to what’s coming up. The Crown (Season four), 15 November https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vT2ETodJq1Q To call The Crown the highlight of Netflix’s autumn season would be an understatement. After all, even the release of the official trailer – due any minute now incidentally – is usually enough to send the internet into a tizzy.

How has Titania found lockdown? I conduct most of my activism through Twitter, so lockdown has not prevented me from spreading my important message of social justice. The trick to Twitter is always to include a rainbow flag and pronouns in your bio. That way, when you’re calling your opponents evil, lowlife scumbags, trying to get them fired, or gloating if they die, everyone will know that you’re actually incredibly compassionate. You cite the likes of Meghan Markle, Hillary Clinton and Joseph Stalin as key influencers for children growing up today. Who were your own role models growing up? I did used to look up to Florence Nightingale, but then I found out that she never said anything in support of non-binary rights, so I have to assume that she was transphobic.

‘Sequels are whores’ movies’, the great screenwriter William Goldman once opined. As with so much that Goldman said, it’s pithy, witty and often accurate. All of us have been lured into cinemas with the promise of the continuation of a great film, only to be sorely disappointed by the cynicism of a lazy cash-in. Several of these have deservedly gone down as some of the worst pictures ever made: there is no need for any sensible person to watch Dirty Dancing 2: Havana Nights or Jaws: The Revenge. Yet there are also examples of sequels that equal, even surpass, the original, where either the original filmmakers return to a story with new passion or a new director manages to revitalise a narrative with vigour and enthusiasm.

Whether you’re stuck at home in quarantine or just looking to spice up those weekday evenings, there’s plenty coming to Amazon Prime over the autumn. Here’s our round-up of the shows and films you don’t want to miss: The Boys (Season Two), 4 September https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MN8fFM1ZdWo Set in a parallel universe in which superheroes are real – and form a crucial part of America’s police industrial complex – The Boys is a smart and timely satire that packs a serious punch. Don’t let the familiar capes and claws aesthetic fool you: this is no Marvel rip-off. For all their YouTube-friendly stunts, this is a series about how latex-clad ‘supes’ aren’t always as wonderful as they make out – a fact hidden by their shadowy corporate backers.

If you’re trying to determine someone’s class and the accent is hard to place, you could do worse than check the brand of their pans. Le Creuset has been a staple of upper-middle class British kitchens for years – the sort of Eurocentric brand that contains just a hint of francophile exoticism whilst conjuring up the British comfort food of old: casseroles, stews and soups. And, if Instagram is anything to go by, Millennials are also cottoning onto the appeal. With the rise of #cottagecore and the boom in home cooking that came about over lockdown, Le Creuset doesn’t seem to be disappearing any time soon.

Worbarrow Bay, Dorset In December 1943, just a few weeks before Christmas, the residents of this remote coastal village were told to pack up their belongings and leave their homes so that they could be requisitioned by the army for training in the run up to D Day. The villagers left a note on the church door, saying that they would return one day, but the army kept hold of the land and they never went back. The result is a village frozen in time – complete with school room and telephone box. Not only is it eerily atmospheric but it’s rare to find more than a handful of tourists wandering through the abandoned cottages.

It wasn’t the easiest news to have to break, but he delivered it with the kindness and compassion of a favourite uncle explaining to his nephew that his hamster has passed away. Afterwards, we were left thinking, “Well, what is a 20.4 per cent slump in the economy between friends, anyway?” Even the announcement that the UK is in the deepest recession of any G7 nation hasn’t taken the shine off Rishi Sunak’s approval rating, which remains light years ahead of other members of the government. When the Chancellor declares “we’ll do whatever it takes”, we believe him.

With her marriage to property developer Edoardo ‘Edo’ Mapelli Mozzi, Princess Beatrice – the Queen’s fifth eldest grandchild – becomes part of one of Italy’s oldest aristocratic families. As well as becoming a ‘Contessa’ (a purely symbolic title in post-war Italy) Her Royal Highness’s husband will also inherit the family’s grand residence – a large neoclassical palazzo widely regarded as one of the finest in Italy. The palace sits in Ponte San Pietro, a small town in the province of Bergamo. Around an hour’s drive from Lake Como, it has reportedly been part of the family estate since the 13th century.

Long before we pick up the tongs and crack open the first of seventeen-or-so stubby beers we have to ask the big question; charcoal or gas? The debate over which fuel is best can take on almost tribal dimensions, fraught with foodie orthodoxy. In truth, both camps have their good points and choosing between them is mostly about deciding what barbecuing means to you. In a rush? The great British barbecue tends to see us throwing sausages on the grate while we keep a wary eye on the great British weather. With a gas grill you can get your cooking surface up to temperature quickly, grill for hours without worrying about maintaining a steady heat, and have no ashy mess to contend with when you’re done.

Every weekend Spectator Life brings you doses of topical trivia – facts, figures and anecdotes inspired by the current week’s dates in history … July 18 (Getty) In 1872 the Ballot Act introduced the secret ballot to UK elections. The word ‘poll’ comes from the days when votes were cast in public – it means ‘head’, as voters stood together and their heads were counted. Nick Faldo (born 1957). On a trip to Florida, the golfer asked his Swedish caddy Fanny Sunesson if she would mind buying him a toothbrush, as he’d forgotten to bring one. She returned with two, saying: ‘I did not know if you wanted the hard bristols or the soft bristols.’ July 19 In 1900 the Paris Metro opened.

The legacy of Greek antiquity extends to the country’s cuisine. One eats there as the Ancients would have done—Greek yoghurt and honey for breakfast, simply-cooked fish and cold wine for lunch and supper—as one reclines languidly on the klinai couch, grapes dangling from the mouth, like Dionysius and Adephagia. Greek food can sometimes be disparaged as crude and one-dimensional: the runt of the Mediterranean litter, overshadowed by the glorious culinary traditions of France and Italy. But, for me, its beauty lies in its simplicity. And while it is often familiar it is simultaneously unexpected: fat olives in spectacular Greek salads, but also acerbic caper leaves. Feta crumbled atop everything, but baked too with aubergines and peppers.

The Covid-19 delayed No Time to Die, Daniel Craig’s final outing as James Bond, is set for release this November – a more traditional slot for the franchise than the previous April 2020 date. Whilst expectations for the picture may not be quite as high as expected due to the disappointing reception given to 2015’s Spectre, there’s little doubt that Bond fans will be out in force – social distancing permitting. Although we tend to think of Ian Fleming’s character as a unique creation, that hasn’t stopped filmmakers trying to get a piece of the action over the years. Some have proved successful, but many others have fallen by the wayside.

While the coronavirus might have delayed filming for now, the big streaming services are still managing to put out new content – at least for the time being. Here are eight new releases on Amazon Prime to keep you entertained on those lazy summer evenings: Dating Amber, available now https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVU_e0Kq4A8 Fans of Sex Education and Derry Girls will likely be charmed by this kind-hearted semi-romcom about two nerdy misfits – one male, one female – coming to terms with their sexuality in 1990s Ireland. As a ploy to hide their real preference from homophobic bullies, the two friends decide to pretend to be a couple. But it’s when they escape to Dublin for a weekend of underage partying that their divergent coming out journeys begin.

Jaws, Amazon (To rent or buy) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1fu_sA7XhE Nothing says ‘Murica’ quite like insisting the beaches stay open – killer shark or no – because it’s the 4th July weekend. It’s why – during his brief libertarian phase – Boris Johnson once declared that Larry Vaughn, the Mayor of Amity, was the movie’s true hero. Apart from the now rather obvious clunkiness of ‘Bruce’ the mechanical great white, the film still stands the test of time – the jump scare when they investigate the sunken fishing boat; the memorable scene where Quint describes his experiences after the USS Indianopolis was torpedoed; the literally explosive climax.

This August, if all is well, Christopher Nolan’s eleventh film, Tenet, will be released in cinemas around the world. The storyline apparently involves aspects of time-travel, predetermination and espionage. As usual with Nolan, the details are shrouded in mystery. But it sounds as if it combines many of his usual tropes: a mixture of household name stars (Robert Pattinson, Michael Caine, Kenneth Branagh) with up-and-coming actors (led by John David Washington), beautifully filmed global cityscapes and innovative, gravity-defying action scenes. Practically the only change from before is that his regular collaborator Hans Zimmer, unavoidably detained by other work, will not be contributing a score, which will instead be supplied by the Oscar-winning composer Ludwig Göransson.

Back in the day when celebrities didn’t pontificate on the news but kept their political opinions to themselves, Russell Brand used to be a stand-up comedian. These days, he’s known more for his radical politics (and his former squeeze Katy Perry) than he is for his comedy. Naturally, Brand had plenty to say about last week’s removal of Edward Colston’s statue in Bristol. Indeed, so informed was he on the subject that he had to remind himself of Colston’s name in his video lecture. Miss S was rather alarmed to hear that Brand appears to think Hitler and Churchill were as racist as each other and that he considers himself an authority on this matter because, ‘I’m a white person and I’ve got service people in my family history.

Avatar (2009) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ziBFh3V1aM Can you a cancel a film that’s all but forgotten? I challenge you to name one character besides Sully (the protagonist, whom you’ve probably forgotten as well). Yet when the woke charge comes, it’ll take Avatar in its wake. After all, what is it but a colonial guilt fantasy with a white saviour character to save the day? The indigenous Na’vi people are losing their ancestral lands to an American corporation that wants to mine their planet’s materials, but only Sully, an employee of that very corporation can help save them.

We live in a strange time. Forbidden to travel beyond our national borders for fear of infection and quarantine, we are nevertheless all too aware that we are connected to the wider world in all manner of ways. You might even call it chaos theory in action; a man eats a bat in a Chinese market, and a few months later we are all locked up in our homes, terrified to resume our daily lives. It is this sense of paranoia and interconnectedness that some extremely able filmmakers have tapped into over the years, as their pictures have combined a globe-hopping sweep along with scenes of palm-sweating tension and mystery.