Steerpike

Oh dear. It is polling day in Holborn and St Pancras and the Greens are staring down the face of defeat. Zack Polanski has put his leadership on the line by standing here but it looks as if Andy Burnham has rallied the Labour faithful back to his cause. With Polanski suffering a summer of bad headlines and embarrassing revelations, some whisper quietly whether defenestration might now be on the cards. Rattled! The (self-identifying) man likely to replace Zack is his charming deputy Mothin Ali. As Steerpike's colleague Noa Hoffman has noted, there is a fair bit of bad blood between allies of the Jewish leader and his Muslim number two.

Robert Jenrick is back out on the mean streets of London, taking shoplifters to task while the Met appears nowhere to be seen. In a new video, Reform’s Treasury spokesman confronts a thief in Brixton as he brazenly swipes a bottle of Dr Pepper from Greggs. Challenging him, Jenrick demands to know why he thinks he can ‘take things when everyone else is paying’. The shoplifter tells the Reform MP to ‘relax’ before insisting that stores ‘say yes’ to goods being stolen. Jenrick hits back: ‘Everyone loves shoplifting don't they now. The effect of what you're doing is everyone else's food and drink just goes up in price - do you think other people can afford that round here?

https://twitter.com/AyoubKhanMP/status/2105575220585349466 Pro-Gaza MP Ayoub Khan stooped to a new low today as he cast doubt on the Israeli investigation into the Flydubai cockpit stabbing. The British-Pakistani politician, who has called for Britain to wage war against Israel, claimed to be ‘shocked’ by the speed with which security officials established what had happened on the flight. Sharing a BBC article detailing the jihadist attack, Khan wrote: ‘I am genuinely shocked as to the speed of this enquiry by the Israeli spokespeople!!! Normally it takes them months, if not years. I think I smell a rat!’ He continued: ‘I believe the most powerful MP in parliament is not the PM but the one that can speak without fear or favour!!!!!!!

The Makerfield test was meant to be at the heart of Andy Burnham’s government. When Burnham was elected as an MP back in June, he said: ‘A Makerfield test at the heart of British politics will make sure that the places Westminster has neglected will now get fairness.’ Mr S wonders if Burnham has applied it to his latest pronouncement that the United Kingdom could rejoin the European Union after the Prime Minister told the BBC he will consider ‘going all the way’ after the next election.

The ‘far-left and Islamist’ organisation Friends of al-Aqsa lavished praise on Red Ed Miliband on the sidelines of Labour conference today. The group was banned at the last minute from officially hosting an event on Gaza at the annual socialist jamboree – but simply pressed ahead with a panel near the conference venue anyway. When the Labour conference guide was published earlier this month, Friends of al-Aqsa was listed as holding a fringe event hosted by the group’s founder and chair, Ismail Patel. But it was pulled following a backlash. Friends of al-Aqsa describes itself as an NGO ‘demanding political change for Palestine’. A Home Office-commissioned report in 2024 described it as a ‘far-left and Islamist’ organisation.

A Labour government aide has suggested that Britain should spend billions of pounds compensating developing countries whose citizens come to work in the NHS. Dr Beccy Cooper, a parliamentary private secretary in the Cabinet Office, told a Labour conference fringe event that G20 states should ‘continue’ discussions on an agreement requiring wealthy countries that recruit foreign-trained health workers to invest proportionately in the health systems and workforces of the nations from which they recruit. Cooper said: ‘We have some incredible support workers, some incredible development people, and we really need to say, hang on a second, we very much benefit from people coming to work in our National Health Service.

Ahead of Labour conference, Andy Burnham took to the regional airwaves today for a shameless exercise in pandering to the party faithful. Kicking off by bending the knee to Remainers, the Prime Minister declared that Brexit was to blame for the small-boats crisis. Asked by the BBC about the continuing border farce, Burnham responded: I do point to the loss of collaboration with neighbours that came with Brexit. That hasn’t helped. We had a more cooperative system, if you like, in the past, so we are not able to have the same levels of collaboration that we used to have. But I don’t put that forward as a reason why we won’t keep working until we get the crossings right down.

Zack Polanski was heckled by furious residents of Holborn and St Pancras at a Jewish community hustings this evening. The former breast-enhancer was met with boos and jeers as he repeated his claim that the war in Gaza amounts to a ‘genocide’ – and accused those in the room who disagreed of ‘making themselves less safe’. At the hustings, hosted by the Board of Deputies, Polanski bent the knee to the Islamist and woke voters he is so desperate to charm by declaring himself an ‘anti-Zionist’. He told the North London room: ‘I’m an anti-Zionist. I think countries have always been ideas and I think things change over time.’ The audience responded with disgust. There was, at least, some light comic relief amid nightmare Polanski’s ramblings.

Muslim activists in Birmingham have set their sights on national treasure John Cleese, demanding the comedian be cancelled over so-called ‘Islamophobia’. A group calling itself ‘Deenified’ released a video on social media berating the Fawlty Towers star for ‘using your platforms to attack Islam’ and calling for his Birmingham comedy show, part of a wider national tour, to be banned. The relatively young bearded activists accuse Cleese of ‘spreading dangerous misinformation and creating hostility towards Muslims’. One chap warns that ‘saying things like Islam is all about killing… isn’t comedy’. He declares: ‘That’s hate speech and you’re just a hate preacher.