Steerpike

Labour MP Jeevun Sandher appeared on Britain’s television screens today to deliver a rather bizarre sermon on the Best of British. Without a hint of irony, he nominated Sadiq Khan as one of modern Britain’s great success stories - and even elevated him to the status of Winston Churchill. Then, for good measure, he compared grime artist Stormzy with Edward Elgar. He said: ‘Britain is the country of Churchill and Sadiq Khan, Britain is the country of Elgar and Stormzy, Britain is the country of churches, mosques, football stands. Britain is a country where we stand together – different communities – but common values.’ Sandher went on to insist that ‘our cultures are intertwined’, pointing out that ‘we can read Shakespeare and Zadie Smith’.

Nigel Farage has often talked about spotting and exploiting gaps in the market. So it is no surprise that one of his former aides is now doing the same. Step forward Raheem Kassam, the bomb-throwing onetime Ukipper, who has made a name for himself in the States as the co-owner of Butterworths, a favourite hangout of 'MAGA' in Washington DC. Word reaches Steerpike that Kassam is pitching up in London more frequently these days and intends to become a fixture of the media landscape for the foreseeable future. Get the smelling salts in... Kassam is expected to launch a new UK version of the old Breitbart London site that was a favourite of right-wingers in the mid-2010s.

David Walliams has had his Labour membership suspended, the party confirmed today. It comes after the Little Britain actor was accused of preying on teenage girls, in two cases first initiating contact when they were 15 years old. In 2015 Walliams posted on social media that he was 'so impressed' by Andy Burnham and that he “even told him that he would be Labour leader one day”. Further back in 2008, in a bid to clear its £18 million of debt, Labour auctioned off a 'swim with David Walliams' in 'temperate' waters. The BBC this afternoon said that Little Britain and Come Fly With Me are being removed from iPlayer while the corporation reviews 'all material' featuring or written by the Britain's Got Talent judge.

A whopping 900 illegal migrants crossed the Channel in just three days. Updated Home Office figures show Shabana Mahmood is quelle surprise some way from ‘smashing the gangs’. Despite the cooler temperatures, 378 people arrived on six dinghies yesterday. Sunday’s total was 364, and Saturday’s 161. A busy weekend in the Channel indeed. Clearly, the prospect of being housed near Piddington rather than in a hotel has done little to dampen demand. And if a woman is among those who make it across, she could even be given a free hijab, courtesy of the British taxpayer. Home Office figures show that 974 Islamic head coverings were handed out between January and June this year. An investigation by GB News found that the hijabs were bought from a Chinese supplier.

Labour-run Liverpool City Council is drawing up plans for a taxpayer-funded counselling service for staff who feel affected by ‘microaggressions’ and ‘cumulative racial trauma’, Mr S can reveal. A notice published on 29 September seeks suppliers for a ‘Racial Trauma Support Service’. The council says it is ‘committed to becoming an actively anti-racist organisation’ and has identified a need for specialist support for staff affected by ‘racism, racial discrimination, microaggressions and cumulative racial trauma’. The service must be ‘independent, confidential, culturally competent and trauma-informed’. Staff could use it ‘whether or not they pursue a formal complaint’.

Another day, another Labour plot to nationalise a business. This time, the not-so lucky company in question is… beleaguered Poundland. In the House of Lords this afternoon, Sir John Redwood asked business minister Lord Leong whether he would rule out a subsidy or nationalisation of Poundland in response to the retail giant’s closure plans. Lord Leong’s answer was categorical: ‘The answer is no.’ The Tories were quick to condemn the ‘insane’ declaration. Shadow Chancellor Andrew Griffith said: The hard truth is that in a dynamic economy, businesses are created, whilst others sadly fail. We cannot expect taxpayers to step in and solve all of life's problems. Around half an hour later came another Labour U-turn.

Oh dear. It is a day ending in 'y' – so of course another Labour backbencher is going to the stake for a mad cause. Mr S has had plenty of fun in recent months covering the antics of Samantha 'the nibbler' Niblett, the Derbyshire dilettante whose calls for a 'summer of sex' were quickly lampooned as a Karma Sutra kamikaze mission. But now, it seems, one of Niblett's colleagues is not content to let her have all the fun when it comes to policing Britons' sexual norms... Step forward Jessica Asato, the usually-sensible Member for Lowestoft. The new MP has taken it upon herself to defend the government's new restrictions on pornography.

Only 18 per cent of respondents to the Home Office’s migration consultation were British citizens, new transparency documents reveal. Among those who gave their views on changes to Indefinite Leave to Remain, a whopping 73 per cent were current visa holders. The consultation also drew a strikingly high proportion of ethnic minority respondents. Some 51 per cent identified as Asian or British Asian, while 19 per cent identified as White. A further 12 per cent were Black or Black British, and three per cent identified as mixed or multiple ethnic groups. Tory MP Jack Rankin blasted the figures: ‘Only 18 per cent of respondents to the gov ILR consultation are British citizens. Are we being governed via polling visa holders? Not sensible.

Alastair Campbell is on a book tour promoting his new work Persevilience, which Mr S has not read but hears is, erm, not exactly the best book to ever be published. Last night, Campbell was on Question Time – along with Reform’s Zia Yusuf, the Lib Dems’ Daisy Cooper, the Tories’ James Cartlidge and Labour’s Emma Reynolds – hoping, one presumes, to shift a few copies. The appearance didn’t go brilliantly. After Campbell went after Yusuf for spreading ‘a pack of lies’ about the benefits of Brexit, Reform’s man thought the old spinner could do with a brief reminder of his own esteemed past. ‘Alastair Cambell is calling other people liars, saying they don’t apologise and take accountability,’ said Yusuf.

As a keen student of economics, Mr Steerpike has been hungrily devouring Liz Truss's new book, Bank Job: A short book on how the Bank of England broke the Bond Market and brought down the government. The prose is admirably clear and well structured considering its provenance. After consulting with the Artificial Intelligence detector tool Pangram, Mr Steerpike has thoughts about why this might be... Have a look at this section of Truss's book (if you dare): The rescue should have produced a visible renaissance if the diagnosis had been right. It produced Sunak, then Starmer and Burnham — and a continuation of the same low-growth groove with different sermons.

‘The Civil Service must be a magnet for the best and brightest,’ writes cabinet secretary Antonia Romeo on the civil service website. But Mr S has been wondering if the stats stand up to the slogan... It turns out that 70 per cent of those applying to the civil service summer internship programme in 2026 were barred because they were deemed to be in the wrong social class. That amounted to 4,148 young people. Those whose parents were in ‘higher managerial, administrative and professional occupations’ or ‘intermediate occupations’ when the applicant was aged 14, along with those who did not provide parental occupation information, were automatically rejected from the scheme.