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Wednesday
Wednesday
I’m going on holiday
‘I’m going on holiday so you’ll have to get an AI doctor to go on strike for me.’
Great news!
‘Great news! The country is going to the dogs!’
You can’t read it
‘You can’t read it – it’s covered by a superinjunction.’
After two successful marriages, I’m single again
‘After two successful marriages, I’m single again.’
Sexist abuse
‘What’s the matter with these people? Can’t they stick to sexist abuse?’
What’s this about Britishness meaning something to you?
‘What’s this about Britishness meaning something to you?’
I’m hoping someone will steal my phone
‘I’m hoping someone will steal my phone, so my parents buy me a new one.’
He wants to deny any connection to Donald Trump
‘It’s Jeffrey Epstein… he wants to deny any connection to Donald Trump.’
The MOD have leaked my identity!
I need to build up muscle
‘I need to build up muscle strength so I can carry my water bottle’
Wednesday
It’s one in, one out
‘Sorry pal – it’s one in, one out.’
We’ve always had a bit of trouble stopping the boats
‘We’ve always had a bit of trouble stopping the boats’
Death! Death!
Middle-class face tax raid
So what led to these feelings of victimisation?
‘So what led to these feelings of victimisation?’
We told ours to stop being idiots
‘You affirmed your kids? We told ours to stop being idiots.’
Right kids, bedtime
‘Right kids, bedtime.’