Matt Percival

‘It’s not fair – all my friends have mental health problems and I don’t.’

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‘How do you afford it on your salary?’

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‘He thinks filtered is best.’

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‘We apologise for the delay – we are still trying to establish a timetable for departures.’

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‘She’s extended the ceasefire but the blockade continues.’

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‘You failed the vetting process,’

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‘We are no longer in dynamic alignment.’

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‘He strays a lot further than we thought.’

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‘Vet fees.’

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And on that bombshell we’ll find out what happens to the oil price tomorrow

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‘Your forecast is already out of date.’

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‘You’ll have to wait until I’ve gone through your emails.’

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‘They want you to release all your messages.’

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‘At least the ground rent will be capped at £250.’

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‘And on that cliffhanger, we’ll have to wait until tomorrow to find out what happens next.’

‘It’s enlightening but not in a good way.’

It’s enlightening but not in a good way

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I prefer something based on a true story

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