Bernie

‘It’s taking you a long time to find us a fan, dear.’

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‘I want us to have a big family – four, five, or maybe even six whippets!’

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‘You wait ages for someone to throw under the bus and then three come along at once.’

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‘Did you go anywhere special this Easter?’

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Let me put it this way – if you have any Premium Bonds, draw them out now

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‘Take me to your Trump-appointed leader.’

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‘If you want your letter to arrive on time, you have to put it in a parcel.’

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‘Honestly, some of the nonsense they expect you to fall for!’

‘The Tory party was much better when I was your age.’

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Can we just forget all this

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First floor

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‘If it turns out you’ve been lying about Father Christmas, Mum, you’ll have to go.’

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A relationship with someone you don’t know

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You just can’t trust a Chancellor of the Exchequer

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Glitter wrecking ball

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‘Before you decide, remember where all the toys and goodies come from’

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It’s not the most aspirational of slogans.

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Autumn

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