Train fare rise
More cartoons
Wednesday
It’s never too early to get his name down for an NHS dentist
‘Not just a nursery place. It’s never too early to get his name down for an NHS dentist.’
Wednesday
We can’t afford a gun to go with it
‘Unfortunately we can’t afford a gun to go with it.’
Expecting you
‘I’ve been expecting you, Mr Bond’
Women’s sport has got a lot faster…
‘On the bright side, women’s sport has got a lot faster...’
He’s taken up beer and fags to make himself more popular with voters
‘He’s taken up beer and fags to make himself more popular with voters.’
I think I preferred fake news
‘I think I preferred fake news.’
DEI measures
‘I think we should get rid of our DEI measures.’
I’m required to score your pain levels from 0 to ten
‘I’m required to score your pain levels from 0 to ten, 0 being no pain...’
They’re March hares with complex mental health issues
‘We don’t say mad, Caspar – they’re March hares with complex mental health issues.’
Our kettle
‘Here comes our kettle.’
Self-defence class
Too many spin offs
‘He ruined it with too many spin-offs.’
Weight loss pen
‘No, that’s a weight loss pen. I have a pen pen somewhere...’
It’s not the first time she’s gone missing
‘It’s not the first time she’s gone missing, but she’s never taken my Oyster card before.’
If Daisy doesn’t present a list of her completed chores she can’t have any pizza…
‘Yes Mr Musk, if Daisy doesn’t present a list of her completed chores she can’t have any pizza...’
I can’t wait
‘I can’t wait to go outside to see if the humans have obliterated themselves.’
Writer’s block
Writer’s block
I write shocking reality
You need to build 2.5 houses every minute
‘To hit Labour’s target, you need to build 2.5 houses every minute.’