Features

Saturday

Rachel Wolf

Why not start your own school?

Parents who can’t afford to move into the right catchment area, let alone pay expensive fees, are often desperately worried about the local schools. Teachers are worried about schools too: brilliant teachers who have worked in some of the worst classrooms in the country know they can do better. Charities are longing to work where they’re needed most. That’s why in four months we at the New Schools Network have been contacted by hundreds of parents, teachers and charities who all want to set up new state schools. And their first question is: ‘how do we do it?’ The answer isn’t simple. At the moment it’s very difficult to set up a school. Unless there aren’t enough places for the children in the area, it’s rarely possible.

Rod Liddle

The public has every right to fear homicidal nutters

There was a loony on my train the other day. He sat quietly for most of the journey, but when we pulled into a station he began barking like a dog; that’s how I knew he was a loony, the barking bit, not the sitting quietly bit. Every station, his head went back and he began to bark and yowl and you could see little flecks of foam, agitated saliva, at the corners of his mouth. Then, when the train left the station he went back to reading the Daily Mirror in silence, although he would snuffle from time to time. His fellow passengers treated him with wary tolerance, glancing over from time to time but careful not to catch his eye. I smiled at him once, in an uplifting and encouraging manner, but he looked uncomprehendingly beyond me.

Alec Russell

Fellow travellers: South Africa falls for China

Jacob Zuma is in Britain this week, paying lip service to the West. But, says Alec Russell, his vision for South Africa’s future is of ever closer ties with the emerging superpower When Jacob Zuma addressed the banquet at Buckingham Palace on Wednesday night, he will have nodded at his host and saluted the Commonwealth. South Africa’s President is a stickler for traditional protocol. He also has warm memories of his flits through London when he was in exile under apartheid and the UK was a home from home for many in the ‘struggle’. Yet Zuma’s audiences should not be misled by his anecdotal after-dinner repertoire. The one-time herd boy turned freedom-fighter turned president may have a reputation for populism, vacillation and scandal.

Peter Oborne

Cricket’s foreign legion

Last week a ferocious new talent made his debut for the England cricket team. Craig Kieswetter, a wicketkeeper/batsman, is only 22 years old and is thought likely to be a regular in the England team for years to come. Normally this would be a matter for national celebration. But with the arrival of Kieswetter there is also unease, though it has yet to be articulated. The problem is easy to state: Kieswetter is not British. He was born in Johannesburg and grew up in South Africa, playing cricket for Western Province from the age of 13 to 18. It is less than four years since he played for South Africa in the Under-19s World Cup in Sri Lanka. Kieswetter is one of a growing number of white South Africans who have made themselves available for England over the last few years.

Damian Thompson

The public sector at prayer

The government’s fiercely secularist agenda has turned very few Christians into Tory voters. Damian Thompson asks why the Churches have kept faith in New Labour Gordon Brown’s Cabinet is the least Christian in British history. Its members sneer at the Churches’ teachings about sexuality. They bully faith schools with relish, making them talk to primary schoolchildren about sexual intercourse. They are just about to force Catholic schools to advise teenage girls on where to procure an abortion. They want to compel religious institutions to employ people whose beliefs run entirely counter to the values of those institutions. They favour ‘assisted dying’ and are surreptitiously working to enshrine it as a legal right.

Lloyd Evans

Great Scot — a triumph for Vettriano!

Every year the cream of Scotland comes to Boisdale of Belgravia to celebrate Scottish talent and to toast the winner of the Johnnie Walker Blue Label Great Scot award. Boisdale is quietly opulent. The mighty banqueting tables and blood-red walls decorated with country views suggest baronial splendour in a modern key. It’s Balmoral with central heating. Our host, Andrew Neil, began on a note of unapologetic patriotism. ‘Scotland invented the modern world,’ he said, and reeled off a list of his homeland’s greatest contributions to world culture. Tarmac, television and Tennent’s Super didn’t get a mention and instead he focused on ‘the decimal point, the cure for scurvy and the patron saint of Ireland, St Patrick.

Brendan O’Neill

In defence of ‘devil dogs’

The proposed competence test for dog owners is designed to stop hoodies owning pit bulls, says Brendan O’Neill. But are the dogs, or their owners, really that dangerous? Some people call them ‘dangerous dogs’. The tabloids prefer ‘devil dogs’. The police refer to them as ‘status dogs’. The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals labels them ‘antisocial dogs’ (which is the most bizarre name of all. Since when were dogs expected to obey social etiquette?). Whatever they’re called, these dogs, monsters, beasts are never out of the news.

Saturday

James Forsyth

The Tory situation is now verging on critical

Why has the Tory lead halved since December? James Forsyth says that Cameron and his four top men — Osborne, Hilton, Coulson and Bridges — must take the blame for the party’s dismal performance and its lack of message and purpose One evening earlier this week a group of senior Tories gathered for a secret meeting in a house in Notting Hill. All of the most trusted members of Cameron’s inner circle were there — George Osborne, Steve Hilton, Andy Coulson, Michael Gove — but the atmosphere was not one of jubilation, or even excited determination. The predominant mood was despair. Osborne put their worries into words: What’s going wrong? he asked. Why are we slipping in the polls, even when Brown is so unpopular?

Ross Clark

How Essex betrayed its residents

Ross Clark on a supposedly ‘model’ Tory authority which has, behind the scenes, left elderly homeowners to suffer at the hands of private contractors For an idea of what public services might look like in Cameron’s Britain we are encouraged to look at Essex County Council. Along with Hammersmith & Fulham it is held up as a ‘flagship’ Conservative authority, showing what can be achieved if councils become more businesslike. Essex it was that in December signed a five-year, £5.4 billion deal with IBM to manage and provide public services such as management of schools, maintenance of highways and organisation of social care.

Stuart Wheeler

A question of trust | 27 February 2010

What are MPs worth? I don’t mean this literally. I hope they’re all each worth as much as they would like to be, or deserve to be. But what are they worth to us? They’re the product of our democracy. They’re the consequence of our centuries of stable constitutional development, and the enduring part of Britain’s place in history as the global pioneer of representative government. So to us they are worth quite a lot in fact. But even before their allowances are taken into account, MPs’ salaries immediately put them in the top 5 per cent income bracket. Moreover, this level of pay is unprecedented: you have never paid more for them. Are they worth that much?

Rod Liddle

Shouting and throwing things isn’t bullying, it’s just bad manners

Of course it’s bad to persecute people, says Rod Liddle. But bullying has now become the latest politically correct public sector growth industry My Concise Oxford Dictionary defines ‘bullying’ in the following terms: ‘to persecute or oppress by force or threats’. The charity at the centre of this latest furore about the Prime Minister, the National Bullying Helpline, meanwhile describes it thus, on its introductory webpage: Stress. Bullying. Workplace stress and anti-bullying advice for adults. Anti-bullying and Cyberbullying help for kids. Bullying help at Work. Anti-bullying in Schools. Anti-bullying in the Community. Bullying in schools. Domestic violence. Cyberbullying. Stalking. Redundancy. Bullying & Harassment Investigations.

James Walton

We believe in angels

Among the more neglected victims of the recession have been the authors of misery memoirs — or ‘mis-mems’ as they’re rather heartlessly known in the trade. As if these people hadn’t suffered enough at the hands of their drunken, violent and/or abusive families, the credit crunch brought more bad news. The books sections of supermarkets began to think that misery was something we could now get for ourselves without the help of reading. What they’d offer instead was a bit of comfort: a belief that, despite appearances to the contrary, we’re surrounded by powerful forces with our best interests at heart. In other words, the way was open for the return of angels.

Richard Dowden

Three decades of murder and misrule

Next week marks 30 years since Robert Mugabe was elected Prime Minister of Zimbabwe. Last month was 20 years since Nelson Mandela left jail. The two men have much in common. Both are nationalist leaders who fought white rule in southern Africa. Both served long periods in prison, Mandela 27 years, Mugabe 11. Both emerged and won elections and then offered their white oppressors the hand of forgiveness and friendship. Both created governments of national unity to deal with rival movements: in South Africa Mandela faced the Zulu Inkatha movement. In Zimbabwe Mugabe brought into his Cabinet the largely Ndebele Zimbabwe African Patriotic Union (Zapu). Most observers had predicted a bloodbath in both countries. That had seemed the most logical of all the scenarios.

The Spectator

What the papers said…

On 4 March 1980, following Zimbabwe’s first all-party elections, Robert Mugabe won overall control of the country’s new 100-seat parliament. On 4 March 1980, following Zimbabwe’s first all-party elections, Robert Mugabe won overall control of the country’s new 100-seat parliament. The result, a humiliating defeat for outgoing Prime Minister Bishop Abel Muzorewa, prompted sharply mixed reactions in Britain. The former Tory Foreign Office minister and MP for Brighton Pavilion, Julian Amery, lamented that ‘The government’s Rhodesian policy lies in ruins’, while Labour MP Tony Benn said, ‘I can’t think of anything that has given me so much pleasure for a long time.’ Here’s how the British press saw it.

Justin Marozzi

Mogadishu Notebook

From Miami to Mogadishu; from blues skies, pastel perfection, grilled red snapper, key lime pie and margaritas to blue skies, a bombed-out cityscape, warm beer and boiled goat (the main dish in ‘the Dish’). From Miami to Mogadishu; from blues skies, pastel perfection, grilled red snapper, key lime pie and margaritas to blue skies, a bombed-out cityscape, warm beer and boiled goat (the main dish in ‘the Dish’). No question Mogadishu could use a lick of paint and a spot of rebuilding. I drive through it in the back of a Casspir, a landmine-resistant armoured personnel carrier belonging to the African Union Mission in Somalia (Amisom). This place makes Kabul look like Manhattan. Clan-based warfare has ripped Somalia apart for most of the past 20 years.

Saturday

Mihir Bose

The deflating world of English football

The Premier League has never been more popular — globally as well as at home, says Mihir Bose. But the explosion of money is pushing clubs into insolvency — and squeezing British players out As a global brand, English football has never been more powerful. The Premier League crosses all cultural barriers and has devotees in every corner of the world. Fans in Singapore, for instance, even change their sleeping patterns to keep up: on match days, they go to bed early evening and get up at 3 a.m. to watch live broadcasts. It is hard to think of anything else this country produces that has such reach. No matter how England’s national team fares in the World Cup this year, England’s football industry reigns supreme in the world’s favourite sport.

Rod Liddle

Why not let politicians call each other ‘scum-sucking pigs’?

David Wright, the Labour MP for Telford, should get out more, he should be more inclusive. I have attended many Conservative party conferences and mingled late at night with the delegates, and I have to say it always seemed to me that the party was composed almost exclusively of scum-sucking pigs. Sometimes I would go to these conferences with the notion, maybe at the back of my mind, that perhaps next time an election came around I might vote Conservative, given the state of the country and the Iraq war and Harriet Harman and what have you. But the scum-sucking pig stuff cured me of that within four days. But then attending a conference for a few days is not really good enough.

Mark Wood

An axis of pragmatists

Mark Wood says that David Cameron would do well to ally himself with Germany’s Chancellor — Angela Merkel is a conservative realist in the Thatcher mould A new government sweeps into power and orders £20 billion of tax cuts. Fundamental tax reform to follow. Unashamedly pro-business policies are given top priority, cushioned by comforting, voter-friendly commitments to maintaining public services. Sound like the Tories already in office in some parallel universe? Not quite. It is Angela Merkel’s new centre-right coalition in Germany.

Daniel Kalder

The madness of Turkmenbashi

Tearing down the statue of a megalomaniac dictator is usually a joy reserved for the citizens of a newly liberated country. But when, last month, President Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov of Turkmenistan ordered the removal of his predecessor Saparmurat Niyazov’s Neutrality Arch, he was probably the only Turkman with any illusions of freedom.  For more than ten years this extraordinary monument — a giant, futuristic tripod, topped by a gold figure of Niyazov in a superman cape, which rotates to face the sun — has hovered menacingly above the skyline of the Turkmenistan capital Ashgabat. Niyazov called himself Turkmenbashi, ‘leader of the Turkmen’. The demolition of his monument, of course, will not mean that his people are rid of their chains.

Daniel W-Drezner

Uncle Sam vs the Dragon

The growing rift between the United States and China has chilling similarities to America’s old rivalry with the Soviet Union, says Daniel W. Drezner When Barack Obama burst into the room to disrupt China’s meeting with its fellow climate change sceptics at the Copen-hagen summit, it was clear that something was not right in the relationship between the two countries. The American president had made his way past reporters, with a face like thunder, and shouted at his Chinese counterpart, ‘Mr Premier, are you ready for me?’ Wen Jiabao was not; and according to numerous press reports, Mr Obama was berated by a mid-ranking Chinese official for his rudeness.