Any other business

Scotland counts the cost of its financial Culloden

Number 35, St Andrew Square in the heart of Edinburgh’s New Town has no name plate or corporate signage. It is an anonymous executive office used by Sir Fred Goodwin, Royal Bank of Scotland’s now-departing chief executive, for discreet meetings away from the bank’s out-of-town campus headquarters at Gogarburn. From its elegant Georgian first- floor windows you can look out along the timeless thoroughfare that is George Street, past the scrubbed sandstone of Standard Life — Edinburgh’s archetypal investment institution — to some of the city’s most expensive boutiques and auction houses. Last week Number 35 was closed, and along George Street few were lingering at the shop windows.

Banks too risky? Try flying saucers

Kim Schlunke would like you to buy a flying saucer. No, honestly, he’s got a video of it on his mobile, showing one buzzing round his lab in Perth, Australia. See it fly! See it hover! See it land delicately on its little legs! It looks, in other words, like a special effect of the sort that DreamWorks can throw into a movie with scarcely a thought. Yet this flying saucer does not break the laws of physics, and Schlunke, one of those archetypal garrulous Aussies, has actually flown in a larger version which could one day become a flying car. Well, he says he has, although his phone has so many clips of the unmanned prototype that he can’t find the one with him flying the bigger model. And he hasn’t flown very high, less than two metres off the ground.

Any Other Business | 18 October 2008

The ticking parcel I failed to spot and the oil-price prediction I got spot on Last week’s global stock market panic, the overture to this week’s astonishing round of state interventions, was in part provoked by fear of humongous losses in something called ‘credit default swaps’. These arcane inventions by Wall Street rocket-scientists are a form of derivative contract — or ‘weapon of financial mass destruction’, as Warren Buffett put it — akin to debt insurance. A ticking parcel of at least $400 billion worth of them relates to bonds issued by Lehman Brothers before it went bust. Since Lehman paper is now priced at only 8 cents on the dollar, enormous claims are about to emerge against the parties to the swaps.

Socialism seizes the City

To anyone born before 1980, the idea that the state would own a large part of the economy was normal. The ‘mixed economy’ was a typically British compromise between American cut-throat capitalism and the incompetent communism beyond the Iron Curtain — or at least a compromise between the socialist leanings of the Labour Left and the free-enterprise mantra of the Tories. Such was the tug-of-war of ideologies that the British steel industry found itself nationalised in the 1940s, returned to the private sector in the 1950s, re-nationalised a decade later and re-privatised in the 1980s. Yet despite so much of the rest of the UK economy falling into public hands over the past half century, banking has until now escaped.

And Another Thing | 18 October 2008

My attitude to money is simple. I want to think about it as little as possible. So I have arranged my life with this end in view. I work hard and spend less than I earn. I put aside sums for tax and VAT and do the returns promptly. I pay bills by return of post. I have never borrowed or had an overdraft, and paid off the only mortgage I ever had at the earliest possible date. I always say to the people who look after my savings: I am not greedy and don’t want a high return, just security and peace of mind. None of this did me the slightest good during the present crisis.

Global Warning | 18 October 2008

All old Africa hands have a story of their narrow escape from charging elephants to tell. I have one myself, but I know from experience that such stories are usually more interesting to the teller than to the told. They are not quite as bad as big game hunting stories, however: they are the real conversation killers. I knew an African re-tread (as expatriates who cannot forget their time in Africa are sometimes called) who used to bore dinner parties with his claim to have shot 50 zebra in an afternoon. ‘What did you use?’ asked an incredulous guest (I had heard the story several times before). ‘A machine gun?’ The only creature I shot on my one big game hunting expedition in Africa was a little green snake.

The unravelling of the great buy-to-let scam

Ross Clark says speculators and fraudsters saw easy money in buying city-centre flats with borrowed money — but investors and lenders now face huge losses as prices crash I have developed a rather ghoulish pastime. It involves thumbing through auction results for repossessed apartments in city centres, then checking what those same properties sold for when new, a year or two ago. My record so far is a two-bedroom flat in a development called Beauchamp Place, Coventry, which was auctioned in September for £85,000 — less than 40 per cent of the £214,000 for which it was sold new in June 2006. That flat has, however, performed better as an investment than the shares of the company that led the buy-to-let boom.

City Life | 11 October 2008

When the credit crunch first hit, Icelanders blamed everyone but themselves: international banks for their loss of faith, hedge-funders in London for betting on the country going bankrupt. Seven months later, though, with its current troubles and the recent central bank rescue of Glitnir, Iceland’s third largest bank, the mood is one of anger amid the dawning realisation that perhaps Iceland’s own politicians and bankers may have played a part in the crisis all along.

The No. 1 tax detective agency

Ross Clark takes a look at the TaxPayers’ Alliance Seldom has tax featured in the media over the past decade without the lanky figure of Robert Chote of the Institute of Fiscal Studies, or his predecessor Andrew Dilnot, popping up to discuss it. Yet recently the IFS’s monopoly has come under increasingly serious challenge. Whether it be the Daily Telegraph or the Money Programme, there is now a good chance that it will not be Mr Chote giving his hap’orth, but the bespectacled figure of Matthew Elliott of the TaxPayers’ Alliance.

Time to bet against excessive pessimism

Just as directors’ dealings often reveal more about the immediate outlook for their companies’ shares than can be gleaned from annual reports, it often makes sense to follow what fund managers do, rather than what they say. So it was a pleasant surprise over lunch the other day to find myself in step with one of the most successful investors alive in Britain today. Anthony Bolton, president of investments at Fidelity, the biggest unit trust manager in the world, is buying shares again, two years after he called the top of the bull market. This should give comfort — and pause for thought — to the herd who are dumping stocks and share-based funds in favour of cash or guaranteed returns.

A riposte to the Archbishop

When Rowan Williams and John Sentamu took up their crosiers against short-sellers, they chose strange company: Ken Lay, the disgraced chief executive of Enron, Dennis Kozlowski, the jailed boss of Tyco (who took out full-page ads against short-sellers, before his company sank under the burden of accounting fraud) and the former prime minister of Malaysia Dr Mahathir Mohamad are probably the most renowned critics of short-sellers. In recent weeks they have been joined by assorted Labour frontbenchers, including Yvette Cooper and Hazel Blears. They are a motley crew. The common thread, linking business executives and politicians, is blame shifting — or to use a more biblical term, ‘scapegoating’.

Safe as houses: why Nationwide survived

Matthew Lynn says Britain’s largest building society prospered by refusing to follow fashion — while its bolder, greedier rivals have all gone bust or been taken over Over the last 25 years, Aesop’s fable of the tortoise and the hare has been a poor guide to financial markets. As the swashbuckling investment banks rose in power and influence, every- one had their money on the fast, fluffy creature with the big ears. In markets that favoured speed, innovation and boldness, there wasn’t much space left for slow, solid creatures with shells on their backs. Until now, that is. In the wake of the credit crunch, financial tortoises may be having their moment. And tortoises don’t come much more solid than the Nationwide Building Society.

And Another Thing | 8 October 2008

People who are infuriated by the huge sums paid for stuffed animals in tanks and the adulation heaped on Francis Bacon’s squiggly horrors should grasp that there is no reason or logic in aesthetics. Andy Warhol, no mean exponent of effrontery, if not of skill, summed up the game for all time: ‘Art is what you can get away with.’ This is certainly true of modern fashion art. Was it always true? In studying the history of the subject, I am often struck by the bizarre careers of artists. For instance, that obscure figure Grünewald was better known in his day as a hydraulic engineer than as the painter of the Isenheim Altarpiece.

Farewell to the bank that did Dull

This is getting serious — so serious that I’ve done something I may have cause to regret terribly a year or two hence. I have sold my shares in Lloyds TSB. I did so with a heavy heart, and an even heavier loss, since they were bought when the shares were yielding 7 per cent, a rate comfortably in excess of the interest on the bank’s most generous deposit account at the time. They are still yielding 7 per cent, in a manner of speaking, but the shares are sad, shrivelled things, and the extra income I’ve had is a tiny fraction of the capital I’ve lost. Lloyds was the bank that did Dull.

And another thing | 4 October 2008

Why do men want to rule the world? The question is prompted by the British Museum’s exhibition of objects from Hadrian’s day. They have gone to a lot of trouble. Worth it? Hadrian was one of those supremely busy, and colossally boring, people who crop up on history’s pages to puzzle us. He had been brought up by his distant relative Trajan (a much more interesting fellow) to assume wide responsibil-ities — the two tramped the empire together. No doubt old Trajan wanted him to succeed. Even so, Hadrian only did so by murdering four important people. That proved he wanted the job badly, of course. But, having got it, he spent most of his 20-year reign going all over his enormous property inspecting it.

Can Comrade Hank find a way through this crisis?

The US Treasury chief sees his interventionism as a case-by-case response to unprecedented events, says James Doran, but his critics see it as inconsistent, dangerous and ‘un-American’ It’s hard to keep up with Hank Paulson, the grim-faced US Treasury Secretary and would-be architect of a new financial order. Over the past eight months, since the collapse of the investment bank Bear Stearns, Paulson has been confronted with an escalating crisis that has engulfed Wall Street, plunged markets into chaos, and threatened to push the global economy into deep recession. And at each milestone on the road to ruin, Paulson — Hermes-like — has presented a different face.

A catalogue of credit-crunch cant

We live in frightening times. Markets are in freefall; economies are in turmoil; the financial system is on the brink. People want simple explanations and easy answers. They want to know who to blame for the mess and what can be done to clear it up. Just as well, then, that there is no shortage of politicians ready to fulfil this need. The dictionary defines ‘cant’ as insincere, pious or moralistic talk. If cant was a commodity, it would be the first big bubble of the post-credit-crunch world. Already debate over the credit crunch is being reduced in some quarters to a series of simplistic narratives in which all bankers are greedy, markets are evil, governments are good and capitalism is doomed.

And Another Thing | 27 September 2008

Stop throwing bricks! You might hit a bishop’s niece ‘Damn! Another bishop dead!’ said Lord Melbourne in 1834, adding, ‘I think they do it to vex me.’ The departure of one bishop meant he had to make a new one, and that involved writing (in his own hand, for security reasons) disagreeable letters on matters in which he took little interest. In his time, however, there were only 26 bishops, and no more than two died, on average, in any one year. Today there are 114 bishops, and when one dies, or half a dozen for that matter, it is, to use Talleyrand’s distinction, a news-item, not an event. The Anglican Church is a shrinking phenomenon.

The parable of The Golden Calf

Edie Lush attends the record-breaking Sotheby’s sale of Damien Hirst’s artworks, and wonders whether it is all a metaphor for the recent madness of financial markets Last Monday was a historic day. Lehman filed for the biggest bankruptcy in history; the insurance giant AIG teetered on the brink; the Dow had its worst day since 9/11 — and in Mayfair an extraordinary event occurred at which seemingly few of those present had even heard of the credit crunch. Buyers and gawkers queued outside Sotheby’s to get in for the historic evening’s sale of works by Damien Hirst. Minutes after it began, auctioneer Oliver Barker’s hammer went down on the first painting — a triptych of butterflies, manufactured diamonds and household gloss paint on canvas.