Spectator Life

I’ve said many times that I am not a food purist: I like shortcuts and variations, I have a massive soft spot for oven pizzas, and no time at all for those who are sniffy about prepared food or ingredients. I don’t think there’s anything to be gained by being categorical or dictatorial about food – what is the point in me insisting you cook your thick steak rare if you can’t bear to eat it that way? Eating and cooking should be about enjoyment, and I don’t get to decide what you do or do not enjoy, what is to your taste. So I try my very best to be flexible, to offer up alternatives, and not to make pronouncements from on high. However, I draw the line at shepherd’s pie.

They sparked the Crusades, built Venice, and spurred European colonialism. In many ways, spices and the spice routes along which they were traded, made the modern world. And how many other ingredients can make that claim? Not avocadoes, not goji berries, not truffle, no matter how fashionable. No, when it comes to historical importance, spices are in a league of their own. In medieval times black pepper was so valuable it was used as a currency, and worth its weight in gold. As an excitable Rick Stein explained on his journey around India in 2013, unscrupulous merchants in days gone by would cunningly cut the valuable pepper with mustard husks and even chimney sweepings to increase their takings.

Despite appearances, the word ‘Veganuary’ is not a part of the female anatomy – nor is it a venereal disease. It’s probably as irritating as the latter, however, and I dare say just as resistant to even the most powerful antibiotics. In case you are unfamiliar with this unsavoury neologism, its refers to an annual initiative, first launched in 2014, to get people to forgo meat, poultry, fish and dairy products for the first 31 days of the year. That’s right, it’s like an especially joyless form Dry January dreamt up for masochists – those seeking the black-belt in self-denial, and a sure-fire way to usher in the January blues. Despite this, it’s been more successful than you’d suppose.

There’s always a bit of a post-Christmas sag, isn’t there? The presents have been piled up but not actually put away yet, the tree is dropping needles like there’s no tomorrow, and those final bits and bobs of leftovers in the fridge aren’t looking terribly appealing (a weary parsnip and some withered peas do not a Christmas sandwich make). So it’s no surprise that the French have made sure there’s something to look forward to before we pack away the festive season for another year: the galette des rois. Named after the three kings of the nativity story, galettes des rois are traditionally eaten on 6 January, or Epiphany, the day that the magi were supposed to have visited Jesus in his stable.

It seemed a bit rough – and very American – when in 2006 That 70s show actor Wilmer Valderrama described (then) teen girlfriend Mandy Moore’s efforts in bed as good but not 'like warm apple pie'. Yet on an austere January evening on the other side of the Atlantic, I do wonder if nothing can really beat the comforts of a truly excellent pie. The anticipation of pushing a fork through the pastry. An oozing middle revealed. The steaming aromas that furl out. And that’s even before the embrace of the first mouthful, succulent savoury or sweet. As Margot Henderson, co-proprietor of Rochelle Canteen, one of London’s finest pie-making establishments, says: eating a pie is 'a little like unwrapping a present' and gosh in January there is a dearth of presents.

I’m entirely convinced that, when drunk in moderation, wine is good for us, with its benefits far outweighing its potential harm. It certainly reduces stress, a contributory factor in around a fifth of all heart attacks, and helps us socialise, raising our ‘feel-good’ dopamine and serotonin levels. All of which should make us think twice about a completely dry January, whatever the level of our festive indulgence. Red wines are high in chemical compounds such as resveratrol – an antibiotic agent and antioxidant which some studies suggest might play a part in protecting against heart attacks, strokes and cancer – and saponin, an antioxidant which might help reduce cholesterol.

Well, Christmas may be complete, but the festivities are far from over: the new year is just around the corner. As we stare down the barrel of the end of the decade, we’re not quite ready to give up the cheese board, the doorstep-sized leftover sandwiches, or remove our hand from the Quality Street box. But although the food might be the same post-Christmas, the tone of our eating has changed slightly. Christmas cooking (and eating!) can turn into a logistical marathon: juggling pans and hob space, reconciling wildly different cooking temperatures for items that need to be in the oven at the same time, catering to a raft of traditions and preferences, all of which need to be satisfied in this single, momentous meal. Preparing Christmas lunch can feel like a maths GCSE problem.

I’d always assumed that the hummingbird’s cake derived its name from its unapologetic sweetness: a cake so singing with fruit juice and soft caramelly sugar that it charms the (humming)birds from the trees. The origins may in fact be more prosaic: originally called the Doctor Bird cake, it was named after the national symbol of Jamaica, a type of hummingbird, only found on the island, and it first came to fame outside of Jamaica thanks to a bit of a PR stunt. It was a marketing tool, really: one of a number of recipes exported by the Jamaican Tourist Board in 1968 in little press packs sent to the USA.

As many of us are favouring small gatherings this year you’ll have lots of opportunity to break out the shaker and show what a cocktail hero you became during lockdown. The selection below contains festive recipes – read: drinks with lots of Champagne in them – a tactical low-ABV option for hosts needing to stay sharp for the long haul, and the perfect pick-me-up for New Year’s Day. So make sure you have all your ingredients ready ahead of time, stock up on far more ice than you think you need, and get those cocktail glasses in the freezer. Southside Royale The classic Southside is basically a gin sour with a little mint added for luxury.

Poke House last week opened four new restaurant sites in London. It is just the start of a fishy influx with the Californian-inspired poke bowl chain planning to open 15 London sites and 65 UK sites over the next year. It is little surprise; where West Coast America goes London soon follows. But the huge popularity of poke bowls has been entrenched for several years. In 2015 the LAist publication was already writing that 'The Poke Bowl Craze Is Getting Out Of Hand'. Six years on, poke’s staying power seems beyond doubt. Poke, for the uninitiated, means 'to slice or cut' in Hawaiian and consists of pieces of raw, marinated fish – usually tuna – that is tossed over rice and topped with vegetables and various vaguely-Asian sauces.

I’m going to keep this short, because if you have flung yourself into the festivities, or simply survived them, and are now sizing up piles of leftovers wearily and warily, the last thing you want to do is read a blog post. If that’s not the case, please feel free to trawl my archives and fill your boots. But it’s important not to waste valuable Quality-Street-eating or telly-gazing time on recipe-based mirth. So know this: this Leftovers Pie will save your Boxing Day. Here are the headlines: this dish is (a) easy, (b) delicious and (c) entirely adaptable according to what you have in the house. Got stuffing? Throw it in! Leftover roast potatoes? Squash them down and mix them through. A surplus of pigs in blankets?

Turkey curry, as a means of using up festive leftovers has become something of a joke: the turkey curry buffet in Bridget Jones is the true low point of Bridge’s festive calendar. The prospect can strike fear into the most Christmas-spirited of souls. But actually, on boxing day, or the day after, the last thing you really want is the same meal you’ve been eating for the past two days, looking a little tired and fridge-worn, all the best bits gone. Don’t get me wrong: I’ll be first to the table for cold roast meats and my fifth serving of stilton in 48 hours, and if you hesitate for a moment, you won’t see that final portion of trifle for dust.

It’s Jesus’s birthday soon - so let’s have a drink. It’s what he would have wanted. As a nation, we do a lot of drinking during December. According to white-coated boffins with spectacles and clipboards, alcohol consumption increases 40 per cent in the run-up to Christmas. Not only does collective elbow-bending increase in December, it gets more eclectic – as we pour ourselves leftfield libations that simply wouldn’t be countenanced at any other time in the calendar. Case in point, The Snowball. Boasting the consistency of alcoholic custard, this classic kitsch cocktail synonymous with the Seventies is made with Advocaat, an iconic Dutch blend of brandy, egg yolk, sugar and vanilla – lengthened with lemonade.

What better time to show of your cocktail making skills than this year’s rollover Christmas? The bold flavours offered by festive ingredients like Champagne, brandy, and rum offer lots of opportunities to get creative. These crowd-pleasing serves are packed with nostalgic Christmas flavours to help you celebrate straight through till Boxing Day. French 125iStock Because it wouldn’t be Christmas without a little fizz. The original French 75 arrived in Parisian cocktail bars shortly after the First World War. It’s essentially a Tom Collins – that’s gin, lemon juice, and soda – that drops the bubbly water and replaces it with Champagne.

I wish I were someone who was organised and neat, someone who excelled at making organised and neat lists, and then methodically ticking off each item on completion. But that will never be me. And that is why, despite my best efforts, I found myself in Newcastle on a rainy Northumberland Street one year trying to decide whether I should spend £15 on a jar of pork scratchings for my father, or just scratch my own eyes out and be done with it.

The so-called 'gin craze' of the early 18th century is said to have led to 'mother's ruin' being made available in more than 7,000 specialist shops up and down the length and breadth of England, many of which experimented with delicious special ingredients such as turpentine and sulphuric acid in an attempt to tease-out a few elusive extra flavours. Fast forward 300 years and, save for the killer extras, the gin craze has come full circle. And it's no longer confined to England or even to the mainland because, in case you hadn't noticed, 'island gin' is now all the rage. That's gin, made on islands. Where distillers claim elements such as salty maritime air, storm-tossed samphire and bits of 'hand harvested' kelp give their gin the extra edge that mainland producers just can't supply.

Christmas is coming and you know what that means? More Lindor truffles than any human being can decently put away, family size boxes of Quality Street and, for the upwardly mobile, Ferrero Rocher. My friends, I am as keen on Lindor truffles as the next greedy pig but there is another way. There is a whole world of chocolate out there which is respectful of the defining ingredient, cocoa, often imaginative and delicious. The starting point, the founding principle, for decent chocolate is, More Cocoa, Less Sugar. Simple as that. And this principle doesn’t just apply to Christmas chocolate, obviously, but to chocolate all year round.

I just love Christmas in the kitchen, it’s truly one of my favourite times of the year to cook. I don’t always go for the obvious, although I do love traditional turkey with cranberry sauce and Brussel sprouts. When I want to cook something a bit different, a firm favourite is my ‘Partridge in a Pear Tree’, a dish of partridge, pear, parsnip and chocolate, which surprisingly work very well together as flavours. It’s a real showstopper and great fun to prepare; a festive treat!

December is upon us – the month where our national sandwich chains nobly attempting to condense Christmas dinner into a portable format. This year has seen some particularly strong attempts to crowbar festive cheer into our working lunches and a few notable misses. This guide will help you sort this year’s unmissable sandwiches from those best left on the shelf. Marks & Spencer – Turkey Feast (£3.30) The perfect example of the route one festive sarnie; two triangles of turkey, bacon, stuffing, and cranberry sauce that promise a taste of Christmas. The bacon is slightly granular, in the way that sandwich bacon is, but it’s a minor quibble as everything else is fantastic.