Spectator Life

When did music start? It’s an idle question, and in 1866 the Société de linguistique de Paris got so fed up with empty speculations about the origin of language and music that they banned the subject. There are a series of exhibits, though, which can help us answer the question. The first is the ‘Seikolos song’, the world’s oldest surviving piece of music, discovered inscribed on a second-century grave stele in present-day Turkey. The second is ‘Hurrian Hymn No. 6’, written on clay tablets, excavated from the Royal Palace of Ugarit, and dated 1400 BC.

Around £250 million was placed in bets on the 2019 Grand National, and this Saturday’s Grand National, which will be shown live on ITV at 5.15pm, looks set to be equally popular. Cloth Cap, they say, ‘should win it’. Trained by Jonjo O’Neill, he has a stone in hand carrying 10st 5 – which is one of the reasons why he’ll be ridden by Tom Scudamore, who picked up the ride in the Ladbrokes Trophy at Newbury due to being able to make the 10 stone weight. He won easily. The pair went on to romp up at Kelso as well; but what would make this a nice tale is that both the jockey and the horse have Grand National heritage behind them. Scudamore’s grandfather Michael rode in the race 16 times, winning in 1959 on Oxo.

I am always irritated by film versions of classic novels, especially when I’ve recently read them. I needn’t have worried about Death on the Nile. Kenneth Branagh's Agatha Christie adaptation, already subject to no fewer than six delays, has been pushed back yet again to the first quarter of 2022. By the time it comes out – if it does – I’ll have forgotten the original. With that airless sense of ‘here we go again’, Nile’s delay has been caused because its leading man, Armie Hammer, has been accused of sexual assault, including rape, and sundry other unsavoury forms of sexual conduct - allegations which he denies.

What’s the thing that’s kept you going during these interminable lockdowns? For me, it’s been walking in my local forest, Ruislip Woods. Ruislip may be the acme of suburbia, a maze of bungalows and crazy paving - but Ruislip Woods is only a short walk away, and it’s vast. As I’m sure you’ve discovered yourself these last few months, there’s nothing quite like a walk in the woods to alleviate the lockdown blues. It feels great to go somewhere entirely unaffected by Coronavirus, a place where this pesky pandemic seems utterly inconsequential. A forest is a precious place in any part of the country, but to me Ruislip Woods feels particularly special because it’s managed to survive despite being entirely within London.

It makes sense that a closed, secretive world full of strange rules and rituals would appeal to film-makers but the sheer number of films about strange sects makes it more than a passing fascination. The cult has become a well-established cinematic trope. Here are ten films that are worth your time: Midsommar (2019) – Amazon Rent/Buy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Vnghdsjmd0  Ari Aster, who also helmed Hereditary (another cult-themed movie), directs this fine-looking folk horror picture which depicts off-the-beaten-track Swedish communities as pagan holdouts where human sacrifice to the old Norse gods is still practised.

They came in their droves. Labradors, Alsatians, French bulldogs, Spaniels, Cavapoos, Cockapoos, Labradoodles, Corgis, like a roll of dog poo bags, the list goes on. No sooner had Boris locked us up in the March sunshine last year than the nation rushed to acquire a dog. After years of standing firm, parents finally gave in to their children’s pleas and took the plunge. Those living alone, confronted with the prospect of indefinite confinement, threw caution the wind (and their furniture) and gave in to the idea of a dog. Those who had not owned a dog for years, decided they would once more fling themselves unto the canine breach. I know all of this because when I walk my Pointer, Percy, in the fields and parks around my house I am assailed by people with boisterous puppies.

Not for the first time in its history, Eastenders managed to make a bit of a stir last week. In a break from the more harrowing stuff, viewers were treated to the sight of the ever-sprightly Patrick Trueman waltzing into the Minute Mart to jubilantly announce he’d received his second Covid vaccine. ‘Good for you! I’m due my first one later today,’ replied the shop-keeper, before dismissing the objections of a vaccine hesitant customer (called Karen, of all things). As you can imagine, the scene went down like a cup of cold sick with conspiratorially-minded types online. But you don’t have to believe odd things about Bill Gates to ask the more obvious question: which is why soap operas are tackling the pandemic in the first place. I get it.

As fireplace salesman-turned-Education Secretary Gavin Williamson enters the ‘cancel culture’ wars with his planned campus 'free speech law', what better time to investigate the phenomenon as depicted in the movies? There are a surprising number of films that deal with the subject, from every side of the political spectrum, with right-wingers, the left and libertarians all on the receiving end of censorship from the authorities at some point. As always, the focus will be on more recent movies, but first it’s worth mentioning a few older pictures that paved the way for later films.

Asked to defend France’s reputation on the global stage, a French diplomat once told the International Herald Tribune, 'If Germany has Siemens, we have Voltaire.' In this vision lies something very obviously French: a single-minded belief in superiority grounded not in the future but in the glorious intellectual past. Schooled in the tradition of exception culturelle or cultural superiority, the French truly believe that their cultural capital is the finest in the world. Think Diderot, Condorcet, Sartre and Camus and you can see why.

There is no finer sight in spring than a blossom tree. Planting one is, to my mind, a public service, as it will cheer generations of people plodding down your street, both with the blooms that appear on its branches, and with the confetti of petals thrown along the pavement. In the next few weeks, the streets are going to become incredibly well-dressed with blossom, and here are five to look out for in particular:  Mimosa, Acacia dealbata  This is already out in London, and my goodness, you can't miss it. It is the most vivid lemon yellow collection of little pompoms you can imagine, bursting out of beautiful ferny foliage.

Fancy a more sophisticated slice of entertainment to lighten up the last few weekends of lockdown? Here’s our pick of the best foreign language films you might not have seen yet: Minari, Amazon (to rent) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQ0gFidlro8 The extremely moving Minari triggered a bit of a debate when it was first nominated for Best Foreign Film at this year’s Golden Globes, with various Hollywood luminaries protesting that the (largely) Korean-language immigrant story, set in rural Arkansas, deserved to be considered for the main prize. And in many ways, they’re right: you’d be hard-pressed to find a more stirring portrayal of the American dream.

Until the mid 19th Century, most of us believed that we had a soul. It was what separated us from the animals. This belief could be modified to accommodate slavery, Malthusian economics and to allow dogs into Heaven, but the principle was pretty stable. A hundred years later, thanks largely to Darwin, and innovations such as quantum mechanics and Auschwitz, such a view seemed childlike, romantic, or in the case of the Clergy, downright dogged. The 'soul' became just another invention of the under-informed, over-excited primitive imagination, like faeries, Valhalla and insidious whispering serpents. We have Science now.