Steerpike is The Spectator's gossip columnist, serving up the latest tittle tattle from Westminster and beyond. Email tips to steerpike@spectator.co.uk or message @MrSteerpike
Is Boris trying to imitate David Cameron? The Mayor of London usually likes to leave the Prime Minister wriggling awkwardly by stealing any show going, but today Boris seemed to be taking a leaf out of his rival's book. Both men have recently fessed up to needing glasses, and at his select committee appearance today, the Mayor seemed to be emulating Cameron by awkwardly taking his new eyewear on and off throughout the session.
Lord Patten, the Chairman of the BBC Trust, rarely looks thrilled when being scrutinised, but he was particularly grumpy in front of the Culture Media and Sport Select Committee today. He said sullenly that Rob Wilson, the tenacious Tory MP, has written to the BBC some 64 times in the past year with Savile-related questions. Wilson is famed in Westminster for his Watsonian commitment to letter-writing and truth-seeking, so Patten's jibe fell flat. Meanwhile, Patten was unable to answer questions regarding the continuing mystery over why key evidence about ex-BBC Director General Mark Thompson was excluded from Nick Pollard's £3 million review of the BBC's handling of the Savile affair.
Sir Brian Leveson, who has ascended from his inquiry podium to President of the Queen’s Bench Division and Chairman of the Sentencing Council, seems to be getting a taste for public appearances. Last week he frustratingly stonewalled two parliamentary committees who had the temerity to ask for some post-publication thoughts on his report into the press, saying 'I am a serving judge. It would be absolutely inappropriate for me to come back into the question of my report or regulation of the Press.' A parliamentarian, Philip Davies, called him a ‘berk’ in consequence. Mr S has heard a few of the good judge's learned friends express a similar view over the years.
It has been an eventful afternoon at the Western Mail and South Wales Echo. As seen in the screen grab above, Wales Online, the papers' online variant, reported (and tweeted) that the Prime Minister resigned at 16:33 today. It was a 'shock' resignation and the government was 'rocked' by the news, apparently. As you'd expect for such breaking news, the piece quickly garnered traffic from Facebook and Twitter. But, Cameroons will be relieved to hear, it was only a test: Apologies to anyone who saw that unfortunately published article just now - a training exercise never intended to see the light of day.
Among the more bizarre parts of Natalie Rowe’s Chief Whip, of which Mr S wrote earlier, is her alleged encounter with Marvin Gaye. The scribbling dominatrix even claims that she sang a duet with the deceased singer while they were on their way to buy cocaine at six in the morning: ‘As we walked an idea hit me. “Marvin?” “Yeah.” “Could we sing a duet?” “Sure. What do you want to sing?” “You Are Everything.” I cleared my throat and started to sing and he sang back. It had been a long night and our throats weren’t at their freshest but, as he held my hand as we sang in the summer dawn, I thought this had to be one of the most serene moments of my life.
The only question on lips this morning: Who is Joe? This mysterious character lurks on the pages of a new book by Natalie Rowe, a former prostitute and dominatrix who was once photographed with George Osborne. Rowe will only confirm that ‘Joe’ was ‘a young politician’ when she knew him and that he became a minister. It has been made very clear that ‘Joe’ is not the Chancellor of the Exchequer, so who is he? ‘There was a spark of attraction between us. We once had a snog at one of my parties and, as we chatted, he told me he’d never had a black girl before. Not because he didn’t want to, just because he never had the chance.
The moment that a Downing Street spokesman recommended wearing a jumper to reduce high energy bills, you knew that two things would happen. As sure as night follows day, the Labour leader spun a line criticising the ‘out of touch government’: Their crime policy used to be ‘hug a hoodie’. Now their energy policy appears to be ‘wear a hoodie’ - @Ed_Miliband — Labour Press Team (@labourpress) October 18, 2013 Then the internet spent Friday afternoon in stitches: Cameron heard about #jumpergate whilst in his car. Pull over!
Right on types at the Indy look away now. It would appear that your trendy new editor, Amol Rajan, is a supporter of the Countryside Alliance. He appeared on the Daily Politics recently sporting an alliance branded tie. Mr Steerpike hears that when this was pointed out to Rajan in the Green Room by Ukip MEP Roger Helmer, Rajan denied all knowledge of the green, deer-horned number. Apparently, he bought it from a charity shop for sixty pence. I'm not sure whether that says more about the Countryside Alliance, the shop or the Indy editor.
First Ed Miliband was papped with a teenager holding a ‘bong’ (above). Now the Labour leader is being offered dope on the street by passing fans. According to the Ham & High, little Ed and his team believed that builder Robert Quinn had offered them his ‘last Rolo’ on a walkabout in Camden. In fact, Quinn had offered his ‘last rollie’, referring to a joint. And there was Mr Steerpike thinking that they must be smoking something already.
The European Commission, having done nothing about recent Spanish sabre rattling over the self-determination of Gibraltar, has launched a full investigation into the Gibraltarian tax system. And who heads up the department that has launched this EU investigation? Señor Almunia. And what country does he come from? Have a guess.
Epping Forest has erupted into scenes of jubilation after Eleanor Laing won the Deputy Speaker election. The Tory MP remained composed as MPs kissed and patted her on her £36,360 pay rise.
When did Sir Paul McCartney become so shifty? The ‘National Treasure’ has been on Sky News promoting his latest album. There were more than a few awkward, if not downright embarrassing, moments. Take when he was talking about young talent today. ‘I think these bands are great. I like One Direction,’ the former Beatle said. ‘They’re young beautiful boys and that’s the big attraction, but they can sing and they make good records.’ Leaning in, he added: ‘so that’s what I would see in common [with the Beatles], you know, that girls love them and you can fantasise that you’re going to marry them…or whatever.’ Macca's trademark cheeky look worked when he was a young man. But in a 71 year old?
It started with the terrible news that the first tiger cub to be born at London Zoo in seventeen years had been found drowned in a pool in the enclosure. Then it emerged that Tian Tian, the panda at Edinburgh Zoo, is no longer expecting a cub. And just when you thought that the day could not get any sadder, it has emerged that Kenneth Branagh has missed out on his dream of emulating Sir Laurence Olivier as Director of the National Theatre. Such tragedies always come in threes.
This year's party conference season was hardly memorable, but YouGov's Joe Twyman seems to have made the most of what was on offer. In a post on the polling organisation's website, Twyman writes: 'At the Labour conference in Brighton I met someone who, it subsequently transpired, had even gone as far as having ‘It’s the Economy, Stupid’ tattooed on her body, albeit out of public view.' Mr Steerpike is intrigued by how it 'subsequently transpired' to Twyman that this woman had a private tattoo on her body.
According to the weird and wonderful folk at Greenpeace, the home of the longest running magazine in the English language is sitting on a gold mine. A black gold mine. Using sophisticated web technology, Greenpeace have created mapping software of Britain’s lucrative shale reserves. Simply enter your postcode to find out if you are set to become the next Beverley Hillbillies. Keying in 22 Old Queen Street, SW1H 9HP (the Speccie’s address), creates this stuffy response: ‘Bad news, you live in an area that could get fracked’. Bad news? Bad news? We are ecstatic. Frack baby, frack!
Phil Reilly, a Lib Dem spinner, was hit by a car earlier today. He says that a hardback copy of Power Trip by Damian McBride, contained in a bag slung over his shoulder, took the brunt of the impact. 'It's possible a copy of @DPMcBride's book saved my life,' he tweeted. Readers will recall that Telegraph hack Matthew Holehouse survived being hit by a car last month when he ran across a road in Brighton to witness copies of McBride's book being sold. Mr Steerpike recommends that Damian McBride fronts a road safety campaign.
Mr Steerpike is keen for your captions for this shot of the Chancellor and the Mayor at Peking University.
A new Deputy Speaker of the House of Commons will be elected on Wednesday. Eleanor Laing is said to be the favourite; but Mr S has been reading the runes for the other candidates. Henry Bellingham surprised colleagues by giving a solid speech last week that, according to one backbencher, was ‘witty and had gravitas’. Bellingham, though, is probably too posh to pick up Labour votes. I detect a growing element of ‘who does Simon Burns think he is’ among Tory MPs: Burns is just out of government and now he wants to march straight into a new paid job. Burns is probably seen as too close to the government to pick up significant numbers of Labour votes; but he does have a notoriously rocky relationship with John Bercow, which may win him the jokers’ vote.
So goodbye then, Sir Richard Branson. Just one question before you go: will you, from the comfort of your sunny Caribbean tax haven, continue to lecture us about the merits of remaining in the ruinously expensive EU? It would look a little off, no?
On Wednesday I brought you the news that a politician could actually be funny occasionally. Many of you were shocked, disparaging or simply could not agree, so here is the case for the defence. I've got hold of the video of Nick Clegg's comedy turn at the LBC 40th Birthday party, so you can be the judge. Eat your heart out, 'Slacker Johnson'.
