Coffee Shots: Labour are toast
Was this really the wisest picture for Labour to put on their get-out-the-vote leaflets this morning? We should know which of the parties are toast by breakfast tomorrow.
Steerpike
Steerpike is The Spectator's gossip columnist, serving up the latest tittle tattle from Westminster and beyond. Email tips to steerpike@spectator.co.uk or message @MrSteerpike
Thursday
Why E4’s election stunt may not stand the test of time
Today Channel 4's sister channel E4 has made the bold decision to halt broadcasting any programmes until this evening in a bid to encourage their viewers to vote. The channel, which is aimed at youths between the ages of 16-24, will instead broadcast a cartoon of a purple creature asking viewers to get off the sofa and vote because 'there is nothing more important than democracy and Hollyoaks'. Happily, the broadcaster has managed to find a way to combine both democracy and their popular soap opera among their top priorities. Programmes will resume tonight at 7pm, just in time for Hollyoaks. In fact, statistics by Barb show that all the channel's most popular programmes begin after 7pm.
Wednesday
David Cameron visits a zoo with no animals
The feral travelling Tory press pack were suited and booted this morning in the pouring Cheshire rain and led up a muddy path to a giant rock. No, David Cameron was not going to unveil his answer to a Miliband's carved pledge stone, in fact he wasn't going to say anything at all. You can imagine the spin doctor's train out thought for the last day of full campaigning in the longest, most tiresome election in modern memory. Let's got to the zoo! Let's go to tigers enclosure! Tigers are brave, PMs need courage and so on. Or perhaps they wanted to win Piers Morgan's vote; he has revealed today that he'll be voting for the Animal Welfare Party. Just one problem: there were no animals. The undeveloped part of Chester Zoo the media were treated to today won't open until next year.
Miliband’s adviser Stewart Wood says he is ‘loving’ #JeSuisEd
A little Twitter fad had emerged this afternoon where fans of Miliband tweet pictures of themselves eating sloppily along with the hashtag #JeSuisEd. It came about after the Sun went to town this morning on the Labour leader, reheating his famous bacon sandwich antics. While Labour can hardly stop their supporters from hijacking the #JeSuisCharlie meme that was set up in honour of the journalists massacred in Paris earlier this year, surely Miliband's chief aide Lord Wood, a bright Oxford tutor, should know better than to use it for a quick laugh online? https://twitter.com/StewartWood/status/595948927834320896 The compassionate left out in force again.
Why was Peter Hitchens’ column missing from the Mail on Sunday?
Today's front pages have received criticism across the board for being too party political with the election only a day away. Now questions are also being asked as to why Peter Hitchens' weekly column was missing from the Mail on Sunday at the weekend. Instead, the columnist, who has been vocal about his disdain for David Cameron, tweeted his pre-election column from five years ago on Monday. The article asks readers 'not to fall for the shimmering, greasy, cynical fraud which is the Cameron project': https://twitter.com/ClarkeMicah/status/595229177843953664 So far no explanation has been offered and Hitchens has said that he is unable to comment on why his column was missing from the paper: https://twitter.
Former Tory Brian May backs his local Labour candidate
When Brian May quizzed Russell Brand about his revolution at a screening earlier this month, the Queen guitarist mentioned that he had launched his own campaign, called Common Decency. The scheme supports 'decent candidates' irrespective of their party: 'We've been asking for feedback on who is actually a decent candidate and who would listen, genuinely act for the interests of their constituents, whichever party they are from.' May says the aim is to try and 'unseat MPs in all these safe seats' where 'often the percentage of people who didn't vote is greater than those who voted for one party'.
Bow Group chairman Ben Harris-Quinney removed from Conservatives Abroad website
After the Bow Group chairman Ben Harris-Quinney urged Tories to vote for Ukip in seats where the party can’t win, the Conservative think tank's patrons issued a statement distancing themselves from the comments. Then when Harris-Quinney appeared on the Daily Politics yesterday to discuss the incident he was accused of being a 'Walter Mitty' character who had lied about his titles. Doubt was cast on his claim that he is the President of Conservatives Abroad Madrid, after the association told the BBC that he held no such title having failed to renew his membership.
Labour release leaflets telling non-English speakers how to vote
This week Labour was accused of hypocrisy for allowing gender-segregated seating at a party rally. While the party have since defended their position claiming 'there was no forced segregation', many have accused Labour of pandering to the Muslim vote. Now word reaches Steerpike that Labour activists working alongside Gavin Shuker, the Labour Co-operative MP for Luton South, are posting leaflets to the local community which tell non-English speakers exactly how to vote. The flyer helpfully includes instructions telling the reader to vote by placing an X 'next to every candidate with the Labour logo': Of course no instructions as of yet on how to vote if you are a non-English speaker who doesn't wish to plump for Ed Miliband.
Tuesday
Ed Miliband comes to the defence of the #EdStone
Mr S reported earlier on Lucy Powell's blunder after she unwittingly seemed to contradict the message of the EdStone: ‘I don’t think anyone is suggesting that the fact that he’s carved them in stone means he’s absolutely not going to break them or anything like that.’ Miliband has now come to the defence of his beloved monument. During an interview with the BBC's deputy political editor James Landale, he was asked whether Powell, the vice-chair of Labour's general election campaign, had got the wrong take-away message from his 8ft 6 sculpture. To this, Miliband replied, 'Well, I'm clear about it, yes.' At least somebody is clear.
Sell your Tory glory story: The Sun offers cash for Conservative testimonials
Mr S reported over the weekend that Rupert Murdoch has jetted in to Britain ahead of the election. Now in the UK, the media mogul, and arch rival of Ed Miliband, is expected to be running a tight ship across all News UK titles as polling day approaches. So Mr S couldn't help but wonder which bright spark thought it was a good idea to place an advert from the Sun with a press agency offering money in return for a 'good-news story' about the Conservatives: https://twitter.com/montie/status/595597162030956545 The advert, which conveniently expired at 4.00pm today, offered Tory voters £100 for such stories but also required them to be available to be photographed within the next two hours.
Another joker comes out for Labour
Eddie Izzard, Martin Freeman, Steve Coogan and Russell Brand. What is it with professional funny-men backing Labour? It's a little odd that when Miliband is trying to show the world what a serious, potential statesman he can be, he puts jokers in Labour's election broadcasts. Robert Webb, of Mitchell and Webb fame, is the latest to come out for Ed: 'I don’t need the Labour Party to have the kind of leader you’d want to put on a T-shirt and God knows they continue to oblige me. Ed Miliband’s favourite track is probably “Persuading in the Name Of” by Reform Against the Machine. It’s not my rage he needs, it’s my vote. He can’t do any of the above unless he’s prime minister. I know what to do about that. What will you do?
Coffee Shots: Erection Day approaches for James Duddridge
Mr S has witnessed his fair share of election literature cock-ups this year. First Steerpike revealed how Flick Drummond's campaign posters had to be redesigned after her name could be mistook for another f-word from a distance. Then Matthew Hancock fell victim to a folding issue with his leaflets. As they say bad things come in threes, so Steerpike was hardly surprised to hear that a third Conservative candidate has had an issue with their canvassing plans. James Duddridge, the MP for Rochford and Southend East, narrowly escaped his own Freudian slip: https://twitter.com/JamesDuddridge/status/595191048181305344 Mr S hopes that this will put an end to the party's misfortunes ahead of Thursday.
Bow Group chairman Ben Harris-Quinney faces a patrons’ revolt
The Bow Group's chairman Ben Harris-Quinney is not having a good day. Last night Bow Group patrons Michael Heseltine, Michael Howard, Norman Lamont and Nirj Deva MEP released a strongly-worded statement distancing themselves from the think-tank's Ukip endorsement under Harris-Quinney's leadership. Now all of the Bow Group patrons, including Sir Gerald Howarth, Adam Afriyie and David Davis, have signed the statement: 'As Patrons of the Bow Group we believe that this country’s best interests are served by voting Conservative in all situations. Ben Harris-Quinney does not speak for us or represent our views.’ Harris-Quinney's troubles don't stop there.
Lucy Powell says promises on Labour’s 8ft ‘Edstone’ may be broken
Oh dear. Lucy Powell has managed to mess up yet another media appearance. Appearing on Radio 5 Live, Powell attempted to justify Ed Miliband's decision to commission an 8ft 6in stone with Labour's election promises inscribed.
Cameron wins 81 seat majority in the (junior) General Election
At last, David Cameron has won an election. First News, a weekly newspaper for school children, organised a national Junior General Election and surprisingly the PM has romped home with 40 per cent of the vote. The Greens beat both Clegg and Farage, and Miliband managed just 22 per cent of the vote. Running these numbers through the BBC's election seat calculator, it would give Cameron 407 seats and a majority of 81. Here are the results in full: David Cameron, Conservative: 40 per cent Ed Miliband, Labour: 22 per cent Natalie Bennett, Green: 18 per cent Nick Clegg, Lib Dem: 9 per cent Nigel Farage, UKIP: 6 per cent Nicola Sturgeon, SNP: 4 per cent Leanne Wood, Plaid Cymru: 1 per cent Numbers that the Tories could only dream of polling on Thursday.
Monday
The Bow Group stand divided over Ukip
Given that the Bow Group are the oldest Conservative think tank and count Michael Howard, Norman Lamont and Peter Lilley among their former chairmen, it's safe to presume that the Tories would have thought that they could rely on their endorsement for the election. However, the Telegraph reported earlier today that the think tank, led by its colourful chairman Ben Harris-Quinney, have urged Conservatives to vote for Ukip in seats where the Tories can't win. In fact Harris-Quinney appeared to go one step further by urging voters to opt for Ukip's Mark Reckless in Rochester and Stroud. This is bizarre given that the Tories are hoping to win this seat back in the election.
Coffee Shots: SNP voter trolls the Secretary of State for Scotland
Although one recent poll suggested that the SNP will win every seat in Scotland, there are still a few Liberal Democrat MPs who hope to retain their seats come Thursday. However, although Alistair Carmichael, the Secretary of State for Scotland and Liberal Democrat MP for Orkney and Shetland, winning his seat in 2010 by a majority of nearly 10,000 votes, he ought to be more alert to the dangers of the SNP. On a recent train journey, one SNP voter took a photo of herself posing with her ballot paper while Carmichael dozed off in the background: https://twitter.com/AyeOrkney/status/594868029546242051 Mr S suspects that Carmichael won't be getting much sleep now until polling day.
It’s a Tory! Girls called ‘Charlotte’ are the most likely to vote Conservative
Ed Miliband may have Russell Brand's endorsement today, but David Cameron has got the royal baby's. Okay, she's a little young to vote - but we can read the signs. YouGov research drew a list of 130 names and voting habits and the conclusion? Girls called Charlotte are most likely to vote Tory: https://twitter.com/AdamBienkov/status/595228011315732480 There were all sorts of conspiracy theories circulating online when the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge were dressed in yellow and blue on Saturday when they introduced their new child to the world's media. Mr S is sure the coalition colour scheme was purely coincidental, but this? Perhaps a bit more subtle than simply naming her Princess Tori...
Who bought CharlotteElizabethDiana.com – yesterday?
You have to hand it to the royals. The moment their baby is born, a commercial world will be in pursuit: a newborn needs her name protected. So Mr S would like to congratulate whoever hired the mysteriously-named Moniker Privacy Services (which says it "acts as an iron curtain between you and the outside world") to make sure no one jumped with a baby website. The URL was booked yesterday, and little Charlotte Elizabeth Diana's name was revealed to the world just after 3pm this afternoon. Make a note: next time the bookies are offering long odds on a baby name, check which URLs are being taken out by Moniker Privacy Services and then place your bets.
Michael Gove: Tories could still work with the Lib Dems
The Tories were less than pleased last week when Danny Alexander revealed confidential communications between the coalition partners regarding child benefit to a paper, as part of an election campaign ambush. The disclosure brought back up old tensions in the coalition, with Michael Gove claiming that it simply served as a reminder of the party's true colours. 'I don’t think it took the leak from Danny Alexander to make us aware of what the Liberal Democrats are really like,' he told Mr S. Still, with no majority in sight for the Tories ahead of polling day, the party are in a forgiving mood with regards to working with the party in the future .