Peter Hoskin

Has anyone used the “Mayday” gag yet? Perhaps it's too cheap and obvious, but it's certainly applicable today. Not only are Theresa May's troubles still splayed across the newspapers — sure to come up in PMQs later — but they have also been aggravated by the man who just quit as head of the UK Border Agency's border force. So far as the bookies are concerned, the Home Secretary is now second-favourite (behind Chris Huhne) to be the Cabinet's next ejectee. As for how the former head of the UK Border Agency's border force, Brodie Clark, has made things difficult for May, I'd suggest you read his resignation statement here. In effect, he accuses May of misleading the Commons about his role in reducing border queues.

The games have started a day early, folks. The latest quarterly growth figures are set to be released tomorrow morning, but already Ed Balls is waxing insistent about what they have to be: "Simply to stay on track for the Office for Budget Responsibility’s most recent forecast, already downgraded three times, we will need to see growth in the third quarter of 1.3 per cent. And to reach the OECD’s latest and more pessimistic forecast, we will need to see a figure next week of 0.9 per cent." To be fair — and this is not something you'll read often on Coffee House — the Shadow Chancellor has a point, although he's not making it explicitly. When he says that growth needs to hit 1.

Let's end the working week how it began: with talk of a European referendum. The talk, in this case, is provided by Daniel Hannan, who wrote an article for us in 2008 about his efforts to promote a referendum on the Lisbon Treaty from within the European Parliament. Here it is, our latest excavation from the Spectator archives: For MEPs, public opinion is merely an inconvenience, Daniel Hannan, The Spectator, 22 November 2008 I’ve just done the most pointless thing an MEP can do: I’ve delivered a speech to the European Parliament. Actually, ‘speech’ is rather a grand word for my little soliloquy which, under the rules, had to be squeezed into 60 seconds.

Our Submarine Chancellor has bobbed to the surface today, and to perform a fairly important function: explain Britain's position in relation to the sinking eurozone. Here, harvested from his appearances on the Today Programme and in the House, is my five-point guide to what that position is: 1) Yesterday was only a start. Not for Osborne the "new day" hyperbole of the Greek Prime Minister, George Papandreou. No, the Chancellor has been more cautious about the Eurodeal struck last night — and rightly so. Although he did say in the Commons that "The deal put together is much better than was expected yesterday afternoon," he did hasten to add that "much detail remains unresolved.

Here's an irony: last night's EU fandango was the fifth largest vote in favour of the government this year. And yet there is little about the situation that is favourable to the government this morning, as the story moves on from Tory splits to coalition ones.  It started with Michael Gove's appearance on the Today Programme earlier. The Secretary of State for Education put in a much more conciliatory performance than William Hague managed yesterday; praising the "cordiality" of the Tory rebels, and reassuring them that the Tory leadership would like to see specific powers returned from Europe "in this Parliament".

I hope you adjusted your calendars accordingly, CoffeeHousers. The parliamentary debate and vote on an EU referendum starts at 1600 today — and what morbid fun it promises to be too. Fresh from being bawled out by Nicolas Sarkozy at the weekend, David Cameron is returning to London to be bawled out by a significant proportion of his own party. And while the Tory leadership is certain to defeat David Nuttall's Eurosceptic motion, it will not avoid being wounded in the process. Most of the wounds have already been self-inflicted.