Nick Newman

‘One drop of dart frog toxin and you croak.’

Bringing Peter Mandelson back from the dead was always going to end in disaster

‘The bloody women tennis players are demanding equal bribes to the men.’

From our US edition

‘Let us pay.’

‘Nigella’s a safe pair of entendres’

‘He came off Snowzempic.’

From our US edition

You can tell the Chinese government that we strongly object to their super embassy

‘He came off Snowzempic.’

‘It’s America Thirst.’

From our US edition

We’re doing Dry January – giving up water and sticking to alcohol

You haven’t got a lot on, Sire

‘He’s not getting another present until we get a thank-you letter!’

‘Are you a reliable news service or a propaganda outlet?’

‘It’s undermining justice, deciding if I’m naughty or nice without a jury.’