‘Fire, ambulance, or Kemi Badenoch?’
‘Fire, ambulance, or Kemi Badenoch?’
Nick Newman
Wednesday
Thursday
I’m bunking off from home school
‘I’m bunking off from home school.’
Wednesday
‘Today’s objective is to establish an objective.’
‘Today’s objective is to establish an objective.’
Wednesday
‘I fear they’ll come back to Britain.’
‘I fear they’ll come back to Britain.’
‘Prepare to drop incendiary Green party policies!’
‘Prepare to drop incendiary Green party policies!’
Wednesday
The good news is you’re one step closer to the throne
‘The good news is you’re one step closer to the throne.’
Wednesday
‘One drop of dart frog toxin and you croak.’
‘One drop of dart frog toxin and you croak.’
‘It’s like the surface of the A12 outside Romford.’
‘It’s like the surface of the A12 outside Romford.’
Wednesday
Bringing Peter Mandelson back from the dead was always going to end in disaster
‘Bringing Peter Mandelson back from the dead was always going to end in disaster.’
Thursday
‘The bloody women tennis players are demanding equal bribes to the men.’
From our US edition
‘The bloody women tennis players are demanding equal bribes to the men.’
Wednesday
‘Let us pay.’
‘Let us pay.’
Wednesday
‘Nigella’s a safe pair of entendres’
‘Nigella’s a safe pair of entendres’
Friday
‘He came off Snowzempic.’
From our US edition
‘He came off Snowzempic.’
Wednesday
You can tell the Chinese government that we strongly object to their super embassy
‘You can tell the Chinese government that we strongly object to their super embassy.’
‘I’ve come as Sheriff Jenrick.’
‘I’ve come as Sheriff Jenrick.’
Wednesday
‘He came off Snowzempic.’
‘He came off Snowzempic.’
Friday
‘It’s America Thirst.’
From our US edition
‘It’s America Thirst.’
‘You haven’t got a lot on, sire.’
From our US edition
‘You haven’t got a lot on, sire.’
Wednesday
We’re doing Dry January – giving up water and sticking to alcohol
‘We’re doing Dry January – giving up water and sticking to alcohol.’
