‘I fear they’ll come back to Britain.’
From our UK edition
Nick Newman
Wednesday
‘Prepare to drop incendiary Green party policies!’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
The good news is you’re one step closer to the throne
From our UK edition
Wednesday
‘One drop of dart frog toxin and you croak.’
From our UK edition
‘It’s like the surface of the A12 outside Romford.’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
Wednesday
‘Let us pay.’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
‘Nigella’s a safe pair of entendres’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
You can tell the Chinese government that we strongly object to their super embassy
From our UK edition
‘I’ve come as Sheriff Jenrick.’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
‘He came off Snowzempic.’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
We’re doing Dry January – giving up water and sticking to alcohol
From our UK edition
‘It’s America Thirst.’
From our UK edition
Monday
You haven’t got a lot on, Sire
From our UK edition
‘Keir Starmer surviving has given me great hope for the future!’
From our UK edition
Monday
‘He’s not getting another present until we get a thank-you letter!’
From our UK edition
