Cockburn

Cockburn

Mischief, mayhem and Washington gossip. Send tips and party invites to cockburn@thespectator.com.

Washington Post’s Felicia Sonmez now works in retail

From our US edition

The Washington Post’s revolving door People are losing their jobs in all sorts of industries — but chances are the layoffs you’ve heard about most in recent weeks are in finance, tech or the media. Squeakiest wheel and all that. This week brought news that the Washington Post was cutting twenty newsroom jobs and shuttering its gaming vertical. Also out at the Post: Margaret Sullivan, who has left to sign as a columnist for the Guardian. It's not all departures at One Franklin Square though: executive editor Sally Buzbee has signed up a slew of names for the Opinion desk, including conservatives Jim Geraghty and Ramesh Ponnuru from National Review and disaffected liberal Ruy Teixeira.

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Rubio wants Pfizer to answer ‘gain-of-function research’ charge

From our US edition

Cockburn absorbed a lengthy segment on Tucker Carlson Tonight along with his nightcap last night, that reported on an undercover Project Veritas video purporting to show a Pfizer executive admitting to all kinds of alarming practices. Namely that the company is considering carrying out the same type of experiments that caused the Covid pandemic. The video shows Pfizer director of research and development, Jordon Trishton Walker, who evidently thought he was on a date with the Veritas reporter, talking freely about Pfizer’s operations. Walker explains, amid giggles, how the company is “exploring” mutating Covid variants themselves “so we could create — preemptively build new vaccines, right?

Oh no: Adam Schiff announces for California Senate

From our US edition

If you thought the California nightmare was bad enough, things are about to get much worse. It pains Cockburn to tell you that Representative Adam Schiff is running to replace Dianne Feinstein in the US Senate. His announcement follows hot on the heels of his being booted from the House Intelligence Committee and the resulting wave of media attention. https://twitter.com/adamschiff/status/1618626586303160325 In the opening lines of his video announcement, Schiff says he “always believed that what’s right matters, that the truth matters — and that decency matters.” This is the same Adam Schiff who for years promised he had the goods on Trump’s Russia collusion, that some new conclusive evidence had been found that Trump was a Russian catspaw.

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Azealia Banks loves Ron DeSantis

From our US edition

Azealia Banks is taking a break from digging up her dead cat and returning to music after signing with major label Parlophone. In a recent interview with the Guardian, Banks spilled the beans on her very public breakdowns, Kanye West and, weirdly enough, Ron DeSantis. (Naturally, she used rather colorful language in doing so: Cockburn urges the faint-hearted to skip over the following quotes.) Banks, the New York rapper and singer who first gained popularity eleven years ago with her hit "212," claimed that she felt safer after her move from Los Angeles to Florida. She said that people “mind their fuckin’ business” and claimed that the media lies about the Republican haven. Part of that, she said, is down to the governor, Ron DeSantis. “He’s focused on the basic shit.

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Pete Davidson is ditching his Ruth Bader Ginsburg tattoo

From our US edition

Pete Davidson is comedy’s human Etch-A-Sketch. The King of Staten Island star is plastered in tattoos, though he’s proved indecisive of late as to what art he wants to wear on his skin for the rest of his life. Paparazzi photos that were published this weekend indicate that Davidson is ditching the elaborate depiction of the late Supreme Court justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Eagle-eyed Turning Points Memo reporter Hunter Walker spotted the in-progress removal after Davidson was snapped frolicking on a Hawaii beach with his Bodies Bodies Bodies co-star Chase Sui Wonders. https://twitter.

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The Trump scions are inviting e-girls to Vegas penthouse parties

From our US edition

Trump parties are usually littered with famous, Botox-ed faces. It's far rarer to find yourself rubbing shoulders with TikTok stars. Hailey Lujan, who has over 350,000 followers on her TikTok @lunchbaglujan, is a twenty-one-year-old soldier who is apparently in the US Army's 101st Airborne Division. Cockburn's nieces tell him that Lujan is also an "e-girl," which Vox describes as "hip young people whose defining qualities are that they are hot and online." In her latest TikTok, the influencer was recently seen chilling in Las Vegas with Donald Trump Jr., Eric Trump and Rick Harrison from the reality show Pawn Stars. Lujan introduces her video by saying “OK I'm with my friend from IllPro, we’re about to go to Donald Trump Jr.’s party and if I meet Donald Trump Jr.

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Does your mass shooting suit my worldview?

From our US edition

In the wake of Saturday’s horrific shooting at a Lunar New Year celebration in the heavily Asian neighborhood of Monterey Park, California, Democratic lawmakers sprang into action, speculating that the violence may have been racially motivated. Hours later it emerged that the shooter was himself also Asian. The frequency of mass killings in this country is harrowing. But Cockburn finds such tragedies are made all the more gruesome when politicians so often jump ahead of the facts, ascribing motivations or reasons to the violence that are politically beneficial to them or fit their ideological framework. Representative Adam Schiff, for example, pegged “bigotry towards AAPI individuals as a possible motive.

Are Anna Wintour and Bill Nighy back together?

From our US edition

We need to deep-clean the halls of Congress January is a month for shedding the pounds — and the latest fitness fad for Capitol Hill reporters is chasing around disgraced congressman George Santos. In a show of collegiality, the staffers of other representatives have been alerting the press to Santos's whereabouts. Take deputy chief of staff Aaron Fritschner, whose boss Representative Don Beyer, a Democrat from Virginia, shares a hallway with Santos. "I've done it twice now," he told Politico's Huddle newsletter. "I'm gonna keep on doing it for as long as he's there. And it seems like he's not going anywhere." Cockburn is delighted that Fritschner has found a fun new hobby to plug the hole left by his last one: explaining why Don Beyer is inadvertently employing Chinese spies.

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The weirdest stuff you can get at the Twitter auction

From our US edition

Elon Musk’s Twitter is holding a massive auction to sell its surplus office assets — and it is quite an eclectic selection. Cockburn is wowed by what the company's old guard has blown on superfluous products (the Kegerators, however, were an excellent choice). Here are some of the most interesting "assets" Twitter is liquidating. Neon Twitter Bird Light Electrical Display With a current bid of $35,500, this display tops the list for expensive lots. Ideal for anyone who wants a giant glowing bird in a booth for their living room. At ten feet tall, you may have to carve a hole in the ceiling to fit it into your home. Twitter Bird Statue Want to save a little money but still have a giant blue bird? This lot is the right fit for you!

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Can I now free the nipple on Instagram and Facebook?

From our US edition

It’s a funny old world. Cockburn noticed today that Facebook and Instagram have been told to overhaul their longstanding ban on exposed female nipples, as the policy impedes the right to expression for, wait for it, trans and nonbinary people. Isn’t it funny that more than a decade after breastfeeding mothers first held a “nurse-in” at Facebook’s headquarters to protest, Meta’s oversight board has called for an overhaul to the boob ban to satisfy the rights of people that insist they are now men. What a victory! “Lactivists,” otherwise known as women, spent an entire decade in the 2000s attempting to reverse the ban by explaining that images of breasts were not inherently sexual. This resulted in the campaign to #FreetheNipple, which went mainstream in 2013.

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Shakira, Miley Cyrus and the unwelcome return of the diss track

From our US edition

Over the weekend, singing sensations Miley Cyrus and Shakira brought the "diss track" — a song whose primary purpose is to disparage someone else — back into the mainstream. Both artists chose to target their ex-husbands. Shakira’s new song, which was released last week, racked up 63 million views in the first twenty-four hours following its release. It has since been viewed more than 142 million times, making it the most watched new Latin song in YouTube’s history. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CocEMWdc7Ck Last year the Colombian singer split from former soccer player Gerard Piqué, her husband of more than a decade.

A deluge of deviants in Davos?

From our US edition

Sex workers take Switzerland! As the World Economic Forum gets underway in Davos, it's not just politicians and business leaders flying in for a few days: droves of prostitutes are said to be heading into the Alpine resort town. Cockburn can’t pretend to be surprised: what more do we expect from the 1 percent? One visiting escort told German tabloid Bild that she's charging $700 per hour or $2,500 per night. She also said she preferred the visiting Americans and Brits as bedfellows: "Unfortunately, Germans are stingy when it comes to tips." Customer details, given their high profiles, are typically hush-hush — politicians could get in big trouble back home if their excursions became public.

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Colleges join the war on TikTok

From our US edition

TikTok likely hasn't been too bothered about a bunch of crusty old senators and governors denouncing their social media platform. But Cockburn thinks the Chinese-owned company may be a little concerned by the latest wave of resistance as it directly affects their core demographic: young Americans. One of the South’s largest universities, Auburn, has banned TikTok from campus WiFi. The move was ordered by Alabama governor Kay Ivey, one of many Republican governors to bar the use of TikTok on state devices in December. “China doesn’t care if they are building a dossier on a nine-year-old or a ninety-year-old," Ivey said. "They will build it on all of us and really that’s a part of their five-year plan and really part of how China conducts their global affairs.

Santos’s little helpers

From our US edition

The volume and scale of new GOP representative George Santos’s untruths boggles the mind. The New York congressman has lied about: where he went to high school; where he went to college; working at Goldman Sachs; founding an animal charity; his mother dying in 9/11; his grandmother being a Holocaust victim; his employees dying in the Pulse Orlando shooting, and being Jewish. Plus, there are multiple investigations into his finances, and the loans he made to himself while running for office; he may face fraud charges in his native Brazil and has been accused of operating a Ponzi scheme. Given all this, it seems reasonable to ask: who would risk their reputation — and time — to work for the man?

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Biden is a Major ‘good boy’ truther

From our US edition

Cockburn came across this interesting little tidbit while he was stirring his first apéritif of the early afternoon: a Vox preview of Christopher Whipple’s forthcoming book, The Fight of His Life: Inside Joe Biden's White House, reports that President Biden is distrustful of his Secret Service team and believes the agency fabricated a story about Biden’s German Shepherd, Major, biting an agent. Major Biden and fellow White House German Shepherd, Champ, were removed to Delaware for a while following the alleged incident. Vox reports how in the book, “Whipple details how Biden was showing a friend around the White House and pointed to the spot where Major allegedly bit a member of Biden’s security team. ‘Look, the Secret Service are never up here.

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Nick Adams doesn’t write his own tweets

From our US edition

Nick Adams doesn’t write his own tweets Heartbreaking news from the social media world: a spy tells Cockburn that Nick Adams, the Trump surrogate, author and self-proclaimed “Alpha Male,” hires a communications firm to write most of his tweets. He may not, therefore, be the author behind classics such as "Joe Biden has never been to a Hooters." Adams's entire “Alpha Male” persona is a highly effective troll job that has led his account to reach massive engagement levels. Adams recently made headlines for getting into a Twitter war with former professional golfer Paige Spiranac after he said slow female golfers should only be allowed to play par-three courses. Cockburn wonders what "alpha male" would intentionally alienate Spirinac and what she calls her “fantastic milkers.

Ten other places Joe Biden should check for classified documents

From our US edition

So it turns out that there were classified documents lying around Joe Biden’s office and garage at his home in Wilmington, Delaware, dating from his time as vice president. In a press conference today, the president justified this to Fox News's Peter Doocy by saying, "by the way, my Corvette's in a locked garage... it's not like they're sitting out in the street." https://twitter.com/greg_price11/status/1613565691994447872 The news follows the revelation that classified documents were located in his office at the Penn Biden Center in Washington, DC. But is that all?

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George Santos makes politics worth paying attention to

From our US edition

As the Republicans' on-again-off-again, will-they-won’t-they romance with Kevin McCarthy drags on, Cockburn has found refuge in a genuinely entertaining drama. Each day offers another layer to the George Santos tall-tale trifle — and as the mainstream media purports to be shocked that a politician would lie about something (gasp!), Cockburn is gobbling it up. Just yesterday, for instance, Cockburn learned the Republican congressman from New York lied about being a “‘star player’ on the volleyball team for a college [CUNY Baruch] that he did not attend” (per Business Insider). Cockburn also enjoyed hearing how Santos was involved in a Ponzi scheme fewer than two years ago.

Who wants to work for the Katie Porter campaign?

From our US edition

Congresswoman Katie Porter of California announced on Tuesday that she would be running for Senator Dianne Feinstein’s seat.  But given Porter’s supposed office conduct, Cockburn can't help but wonder if anyone would dare to work for her campaign. Former staffers for the representative have made allegations that Porter “says rude/racist things” and “talks [expletive] about other members, leadership, staffers, local electeds etc.” It was earlier reported that Porter had mistreated a staffer for having caught and transmitted Covid to the congresswoman. After the staffer apologized via text message, Porter replied, “Well, you gave me Covid. In twenty-five months, it took you not following the rules to get me sick.

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Source: Camilla ‘had a giggle’ about Prince Harry losing his virginity

From our US edition

The state of Tate Shiny-headed influencer Andrew Tate dominated the headlines over Christmas after being detained in Romania as part of a human trafficking and rape investigation. Of course Cockburn believes in the concept of "innocent until proven guilty." But he is at pains to point out that many facets of Tate's lifestyle come across as rather sinister. Cockburn was recently approached by a former acquaintance of Tate’s, who wanted to recount going for a meeting at his Bucharest property. Naturally Cockburn couldn't confirm every detail, but the account nonetheless paints an interesting picture: Walking into his house was like walking into an IKEA showroom from 2011. We went down this dirt path to get to it on the outskirts of Bucharest.

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