Snp

Ever since the 56 SNP MPs arrived in Parliament, their main focus seems to be battling Dennis Skinner for his seat. Happily, the Scottish Nationalists appeared to have a night off from pestering the 83-year-old MP yesterday, with Angus MacNeil teaming up with the Conservatives to take on the Lords in Macmillan Cancer Support's annual Parliamentary Tug of War: [caption id="attachment_9147112" align="alignnone" width="510"] Angus MacNeil, the SNP MP, helps his team to clinch victory against the Lords[/caption] Although the battle was close, the Commons men, captained by Mike Penning MP, came out on top over the Lords, who were led jointly by Lord Dobbs and Lord Collins of Highbury.

Neither man will much care for the comparison but, more than ever, Alex Salmond is rather like Gordon Brown. Each struggles to admit their opponents might ever have a point and that said point might be held in good faith. More importantly, each has the habit of thinking their opponents lesser mortals simply because they dare to take a different view on the great issues of the day. I thought of this today when I saw Salmond's remarks responding to the sad news about Charlie Kennedy's death. They were revealing remarks, just not in any way that flatters the former First Minister. Salmond, like everyone else, acknowledged Kennedy's essential decency but then, as has often proved the case, found himself unable to resist the lure of some wishful thinking.

As the new SNP MPs settle in to their new life in the House of Commons, a picture is doing the rounds on social media showing a Commons Chamber that is near-deserted, save the SNP benches, which are packed. The caption from the BBC Parliament channel is ‘MPs are debating safety at HM Naval Base Clyde where the UK’s Trident nuclear deterrent is stationed’. The point that SNP supporters and some of the party’s MPs are making is that this shows that the party turns up to debates while other parties can’t be bothered. It’s a powerful image, and it is not a fake.

'The art of politics is not to lie,' claimed Alex Salmond on last night's This Week. https://twitter.com/bbcthisweek/status/604229621521981440 A noble sentiment for sure, but Mr S feels it's his duty to remind readers of a story that broke in October 2013. The Telegraph reported that 'Alex Salmond spent almost £20,000 of taxpayers’ money to keep secret legal advice about an independent Scotland’s EU status that never even existed'. Although Salmond suggested in a television interview that he had received advice from Scottish Government law officers on the matter, it later transpired that 'no specific legal advice' existed. Shall we just leave it at that?

He may be a national treasure, but it's safe to say that Dennis Skinner's annual crack during the Queen's Speech have been a bit lame of late. The veteran MP always makes a joke in the silence as Black Rod enters the Commons chamber. Last year we had 'Coalition's last stand,' in 2013: 'Royal Mail for sale. Queen's head privatised.' In 2012 we were treated to the particularly laboured: 'Jubilee Year, double-dip recession, what a start!' Skinner is currently involved in a turf war with the SNP over the seat in the Commons he claims he has occupied for the last 44 years. 'That's 44 years too long,' say the charming new nationalist members, but Skinner is digging in. Will today's joke have a pop at the new third party? Or will he save his ire for the government?

During the election campaign the Telegraph reported that Nicola Sturgeon wanted David Cameron to remain Prime Minister, after a memo was leaked to them which included an account of a private conversation between Sturgeon and the French Ambassador. Naturally, the SNP leader was furious and demanded an inquiry. The Cabinet Office has now finished their investigation and concluded that the former Scotland Secretary Alistair Carmichael and his spad Euan Roddin were responsible for the leak. When asked about the leak at the time, Carmichael said that 'The first I heard of this was when I received a phone call from a journalist': https://twitter.

Of all the MPs to pick a fight with, Dennis Skinner is not high on Mr S's list. Still, that hasn't stopped the new SNP intake from spending their first week in Parliament battling the 83-year-old Labour MP. The Scottish Nationalists have been trying to take over the bench where Labour's awkward squad likes to sit. This bench is where Skinner has sat for the past 40 years and he has no plans to sit anywhere else any time soon. Things have got so bad between the parties over the turf war that they held a crisis talk yesterday: https://twitter.com/schofieldkevin/status/601313013564583936 During the meeting MailOnline claim that Labour accused the SNP of 'bullying' Skinner.

While new MPs are sitting through tedious induction classes to teach them the rules of the House of Commons such as never clap in the chamber or call another member 'you', down the road another political institution is laying down the law. The Kennington Tandoori has been a home-from-home to politicians for decades, with numerous plots and shenanigans traced back to its darkened doors. Though if the sign that has just gone up in their window is anything to go by, the owners of the curry house are not quite as strict as the men in tights: [caption id="attachment_9128662" align="alignnone" width="510"] The Kennington Tandoori lays down the law[/caption] As for rule no.

Just when Mr S thought it was safe to go to his local watering hole now the 56 Scottish SNP MPs have chosen Parliament's sports and social as their pub of choice, it turns out that the SNP invasion has gone global. Word reaches Steerpike that the presence of the Scottish Nationalists cannot be escaped even outside of the UK. In fact, the revolution has reached as far as Japan: https://twitter.com/williamsonkev/status/598888708528472064 Well, whisky does tend to be a uniting force.

With 190 women elected last week and the number of ethnic minority MPs hitting record levels, Parliament is slowly beginning to look a little bit like modern Britain. Settling in, one male MP, proudly wearing a green new members' badge, was sitting on the Terrace on his first night in the Commons. He proceeded to use his iPad to conduct a noisy bedtime video call with his wife and young children back in his distant constituency. The sweet scene did not amuse everyone however, with one member of the Tory old guard nosily tutting and harrumphing about a total lack of 'decorum' displayed by new Nationalist MPs.