Christmas

A foodie’s guide to Christmas gifts

From our UK edition

Like Father Christmas, I’m making a list, and checking it twice. I have scoured the food and drink world to bring you the greatest and most varied gifts for Christmas 2021. Entirely coincidentally, those who are obliged to buy presents for me can consider this my Christmas list, but I hope it will also provide inspiration for the food-lover in your life. For the keen cook I’ve used a lot of cooking thermometers over the years, both at home and at work, and Thermapen is the hands-down winner. With a temperature range of -49.9 to 299.9°C, and an accurate measurement in one second, it is easy to use, easy to read, and easy to clean.

Sunday shows round-up: abused children need ‘maximum protection’ says Raab

From our UK edition

Dominic Raab – Abused children like Labinjo-Hughes need ‘maximum protection’ The Justice Secretary undertook the government’s media round this morning. On Sky, Trevor Phillips began the interview by asking Raab about the tragic case of six-year-old Arthur Labinjo-Hughes, who was tortured and murdered by his father and stepmother last year.  Raab told Phillips that there would be a review as a result of the incident, amid the revelation that the safeguarding authorities in Solihull had not reported any concerns about Labinjo-Hughes’s situation. He also confirmed that there would also be a review into the sentences handed to Thomas Hughes and Emma Tustin, to ensure that they were not too lenient: https://twitter.

Let Cockburn debase himself at your Christmas party

It is, as Andy Williams memorably put it, the most wonderful time of the year. Christmas party season has hit the Swamp — and naturally Cockburn is in his element. He has dusted off his dowdiest Clark Griswold cardigan and Santa hat. He has stocked up on milk thistle and Brita filters to abate the inevitable daily hangovers. His social calendar is quickly filling up with invites from think tanks, embassies and slightly grubbier magazines than this one — but it could be fuller still. Email your party invitations to cockburn@thespectator.

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The mince pie taste test: from Greggs to Fortnum & Mason

From our UK edition

The number of different mince pies available in 2021 is staggering – more mince pies, frankly, than you could shake a stick at. And with all of them boasting about their vine-ripened fruits, their rich pastry, and the myriad boozed, how do you navigate the groaning supermarket shelves? We’ve tasted and tested until we had mincemeat coming out of our ears in order to bring you our guide to the best. Harvey Nichols Mini Traditional Rich Fruit Mince Pies, 12 for £9.95 What they say: Our decadently buttery Harvey Nichols Mince Pies are jam-packed with Christmas spices and rich fruit soaked in brandy and rum. What we say: These are a well-sized mince pie, with a good ratio of pastry to filling.

Lower your expectations for Dr. Jill’s White House Christmas

Christmas may not come from a store, but Cockburn's poor heart still shrunk three sizes after he saw First Lady Jill Biden's attempt at Christmas decorations on Monday. The good doctor unveiled her first annual White House holiday décor with the theme "Gifts from the Heart", an ode to "small acts of kindness" that was rather small-minded indeed. Cockburn's distaste for Dr. Jill's decorations is only partially motivated by the fact that he was not invited to the press preview as in past years; he is sure that after four years of First Lady Melania Trump's ethereal and Vogue-esque displays, independent observers will agree that the new administration didn't live up to the hype.

White House holiday decorations in Washington, DC (Getty Images)

The forever ‘war on Christmas’

From our UK edition

It seems to get earlier each year, doesn’t it? It's not yet even December, and the Mail on Sunday has splashed on 'NOW THE WOKE ‘BLOB’ TRIES TO BAN CHRISTMAS'. Lordy be. I say this every year and every year my woke comrades fail to learn. We have a leak, a chatty flake, I say. Someone’s feeding our plans to the Mail on Sunday, I say. We need a major overhaul of woke blob op-sec if we’re ever going to get this whole Christmas-banning thing done, I say. And do they listen? To be honest, I thought we were onto a good one this time. It was subtle. As the paper reports, our attempt to ban Christmas came in an innocuous guise.

Lockdown creations: the best of the year’s cookery books reviewed

From our UK edition

‘I may, one day, stop making notes and writing down recipes,’ Nigel Slater says in A Cook’s Book (Fourth Estate, £30). Please don’t. This is his 16th book and his writing feels as fresh as it ever did. I remember cutting out his recipes from Elle Magazine three decades ago, and I do not believe he has ever put pen to paper without wanting his ideas to work for others. Mountains of good food must have been set on tables and shared by people as a result, because Slater is a master of his trade. ‘A recipe must work. Otherwise, what’s the point?’ he says. Quite; though a cynic would add that the genre is full of recipes that either don’t work or never quite resemble the glories of a book’s images.

What’s good from the goose

One of the more curious habits of the British is their tendency to publish opinion polls in national newspapers about their own food habits. Which way round, for example, are you meant to dress your scone? Is it clotted cream first, then jam — or jam first and cream second? Well, the Queen does it jam first, so that must be the way. Or that other national debate, tea and then milk, or the opposite? When I first arrived in the UK thirteen years ago, I was amused to see how worked up the British get about such questions. Try asking them sometime and see what happens. A new poll reveals that 58 percent of the British public admit to preferring roast potatoes over turkey. “How could you?” we’re supposed to gasp. “Everyone knows Christmas dinner is about the turkey!

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Sounds of Christmas past

Remember when you were so nonchalant about the inevitability of Christmas privilege? Time off work for the holiday season, a few messy coke sessions with colleagues, maybe a boozy catch up with an old friend? Going out and about, buying your bourgeois real (dead) Christmas tree? Remember how you hated all that cornball Christmas muzak piped into the department stores: Slade, Wizard, Macca’s “Wonderful Christmastime,” The Waitresses’ “Christmas Wrapping,” Nat King Cole’s “Christmas Song”? Then along came Covid and Christmas was gone. You, my friend, were in lockdown. As each post-2020 festive season rolls into town, so will the new variants of Covid. The smart set decrees that it’s best we all hole up for the holidays and hide from disease and death.

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Fashion, fairies and folklore

In blows the dark of winter, bringing with it partially estranged family members, seemingly endless nights and all those television movies about a big boss lady who gets stranded in a small town for the holidays and learns the true meaning of Christmas by falling in love with a lumberjack. It is not a great time of year. But as every sullen teenager knows, headphones are a great way to escape the gathering and retreat inward. There is an abundance of podcasts about how great the holiday season is — how festive, how rich with tradition and meaning. I get through the holidays with day-drinking and bingeing French television shows while shoving cheese into my face, so these don’t really speak to me.

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Silky, sumptuous wines for Christmas dinner

I have had occasion to mention George Saintsbury’s classic, if quirky, Notes on a Wine-Cellar (1920) in this column before. Back then, it was to sample and swish about the mouth Saintsbury’s fondness — which I took to be a broader public fondness — for fortified wines like port, sherry, and Madeira. I suspect that most of my readers, except when listening to Flanders and Swann, rarely give Madeira a second thought. And although afternoons were made for sherry, they were made for other things too. As for vintage port, we are wheeling into the season — Thanksgiving through New Year’s — when it comes into its own and gladdens the hearts of many. I am certainly counting on it to gladden the hearts of the serious thinkers chez Kimball at Thanksgiving and Christmas this year.

The supply chain crisis that stole Christmas

Who knew our relationship with China would be responsible for ruining not one but two Christmases? At least this year we had a bit of warning. Our own vice president told us of the current supply chain issues back in August. While most Americans were worried about President Biden’s botched withdrawal from Afghanistan, Vice President Kamala Harris was in Singapore discussing a different topic altogether. “The stories that we are now hearing about the caution that if you want to have Christmas toys for your children it might be the time to start buying them because the delay may be many, many months.” For once, Kamala was correct. Last year, in the middle of the pandemic, Americans had very different concerns.

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No Christmas turkey? No problem

From our UK edition

According to recent reports, we might be looking down the sharp end of a turkey-less Christmas. Kate Martin of the Traditional Farm Fresh Turkey Association has warned that a lack of European farmhands means that Britain could be facing a turkey shortage this December. Turkeys have been synonymous with British Christmas dinners since the Victorian era; what do we do without them? For many, this won’t be too much of a loss: a lot of people actively dislike turkey (although they dislike it even more when you tell them that’s just because they’re not cooking it properly). I confess, I’m a turkey evangelist: I love turkey. I think it’s juicy and full of flavour, and makes fantastic leftovers.

The plague doctor who stole Christmas

Anthony Fauci's rolling audition for Dancing With the Stars continues. Fauci this week appeared in yet another interview on CBS, where he was asked about the possible impact of the coronavirus on the holiday season. He replied that it was 'too soon to tell' whether Americans would even be able to gather safely for Christmas. Which got me wondering: how far are these seasonal COVID restrictions supposed to go? I have no problem, for example, socially distancing by a factor of 10 from anyone who orders a pumpkin spice latte. But double-masking the Indians in a Thanksgiving play could prove more than a little historically insensitive. Is Fauci serious? Think of the demographics most likely to flout COVID restrictions: Texans, barflies, Democratic governors.

What exactly is the ‘festive season’?

From our UK edition

‘Here you are, darling,’ I said to my husband. ‘These lines might have been written for you: “Drinke, quaffe, be blith; oh how this festive joy / Stirs up my fury to revenge and death.”’ ‘Very Christmassy,’ he agreed. The lines came from a series of five plays by Shakespeare’s contemporary Thomas Heywood, in which he canters through classical mythology. Here Althea is commenting on her plan to kill her own son Meleager at a feast by consigning to the fire the piece of firewood that magically preserves his life. He feels as though the fires of Etna were in his bosom and dies. It was not of course a family Christmas, which was yet to be invented.

Join the counter culture, continue Christmas

From our UK edition

The great Joan Collins, this paper’s occasional diarist, was quick off the mark in putting up her Christmas decorations… around November, I recall. But the really sane and sensible thing to do is to go retro and be late taking them down. Today is, I need hardly say, the Twelfth Day of Christmas when the three wise men turned up at Bethlehem with their gold frankincense and myrrh. Happy Epiphany. But in happier days, viz, before Christmas was commercialised last century, and in even happier times before the Reformation, the season didn’t turn out like a light. It went into a kind of slow-burn right down to Candlemas on 2 February, forty days after Christmas — viz, the feast of the Purification of the Virgin.

Why Christmas sends a shiver down my spine

From our UK edition

Does Christmas send a shiver down your spine? It should. We seek at this time of year to reclaim the magic of Christmases past. We think of snow thick on the ground. Rosy-cheeked children skating on frozen ponds. Carol services by candlelight in draughty churches. In 2020, there has been very little magic and wonder. Instead there has been sickness, death and a ban on seeing our loved ones; lost jobs and lost hope. To compensate, we feel more urgency this Christmas to seek out the magic, to find those spine-tingling moments, to reach beyond the humdrum and the daily grind. But, lovely though the fairy lights and colourful baubles might be, we need look no further than the nativity itself to discover the real magic of Christmas.

‘Fairytale of New York’ is under attack

From our UK edition

Truly great songs that are as emotionally powerful as ‘Fairytale of New York’ are very rare indeed. ‘Fairytale’ is a lyrical high-wire act of dizzying scope and potency, and it rightly takes its place as the greatest Christmas song ever written. It stands shoulder to shoulder with any great song, from any time, not just for its sheer audacity, or its deep empathy, but for its astonishing technical brilliance. One of the many reasons this song is so loved is that, beyond almost any other song I can think of, it speaks with such profound compassion to the marginalised and the dispossessed.

The BBC’s Christmas schedule is a tawdry disappointment

From our UK edition

Along with holly wreaths, unfeasibly large poultry and popular carols played on an endless loop, there is another ritual at this time of year; the BBC unveils its Christmas schedules — followed immediately by a chorus of sour complaint about the fare on offer. The Corporation published details of its programming at the start of December and, true to form, the Daily Mail and its readers were far from pleased: ‘Deja View’ ran the headline ‘BBC Christmas schedule in slammed by viewers’. In uncertain times it’s good to see time-hallowed traditions kept alive.