What it lacks on the academic side it makes up for in pastoral care
You failed history again?
‘I want a better homework/life balance.’
‘I’m appointing you “chief fundraiser, unpaid”.’
‘In the long run, you’re definitely worse off.’
‘Is this the interval or are they on strike?’
‘Once I found a niche my career took off.’
‘How would you like to pay – cash, card, or through the nose?’
‘The night-time economy is not what it was.’
‘Don’t worry – we can Photoshop this.’
‘It’s full of XL Bullies.’
‘Left at the Turkish barber, right at the Turkish barber, cross the road at the Turkish barber...’
‘Don’t worry mother, I’m not interested in vaping. I’m a cigar man.’
‘It’s a “Tory voter under the age of 25”.’
‘Relax – it isn’t ultra processed.’