William Atkinson

William Atkinson

William Atkinson is The Spectator's assistant content editor

Heaven is an Airfix Spitfire

Last weekend, I sat in my kitchen to build and paint an Airfix model. I’d experimented before with mindful colouring and adult Lego, but this was my first try at the solo bachelor activity par excellence.  After a few hours of tugging, sticking and dabbing, I was quite impressed with my little Tiger 1 tank. The tread painting was a bit sloppy and the snapping of the turret unfortunate. But, for a kit that had cost me £8 in an Aldi middle aisle, it brought me tremendous joy – and not just because of the copious glue fumes I had inhaled. I worry I might be a little too late to the party. Earlier this month, Hornby – the company behind Airfix, Scalextric cars and the eponymous model railways – announced it was facing a ‘severe’ cash shortage.

Iran’s cheerleaders are on borrowed time

Predictions ageing poorly is an occupational hazard for journalists and commentators. But few have gone as sour as those made by Roger Cooper in this magazine, in February 1979, days after the last Shah of Iran had fled. In a piece titled ‘Is Khomeini the leader for Iran?’, Cooper speculated that ‘the prospect… of an Iranian Islamic republic… must surely be more alluring to all but the most stubborn defenders of an ancient regime’. The Ayatollah, he suggested, offered Iranians ‘the chance to resume their true national and cultural identity’. No suggestion was made of imminent death squads, mass imprisonments or looming theocratic repression and economic hardship.  Cooper can be forgiven for failing to realise just how miserable the Islamic Republic would be.

Why does anyone still take Rory Stewart seriously?

As per J. M. Barrie, one either believes in fairies, or they don’t. I take a similar approach to Rory Stewart. To his legions of Rest is Politics listeners, the ex-Tory MP, bedroom-squatter, and Afghanistan-botherer is a sage – as right-wing a voice as their timid and tiny middle-class minds can handle, successfully neutralised by co-hosting with 45-minute enthusiast Alistair Campbell. But to me he is a charlatan: another over-educated Balliol boy with a far higher opinion of himself than his public record merits. The example of his Dominic Cummings comments is a case in point. He is a charlatan: another over-educated Balliol boy with a far higher opinion of himself than his public record merits For those unfamiliar, a Stewart rant from June last year about the former No.

Justin Marozzi, Lisa Haseldine, William Atkinson & Toby Young

32 min listen

On this week’s Spectator Out Loud: Justin Marozzi analyses what Trump’s coup in Venezuela means for Iran; Lisa Haseldine asks why Britain isn’t expanding its military capabilities, as European allies do so; William Atkinson argues that the MET’s attack on freemasonry is unjustified; and, Toby Young explains why the chickenpox vaccine is a positive health measure. Produced and presented by Patrick Gibbons.

In defence of the Freemasons

It’s a personal delight that on 29 September 1829, the first day of Robert Peel’s new force, the first warrant number issued by the Metropolitan Police was to a William Atkinson. I’m less happy that officer number one was sacked after just four hours on duty, for being drunk. As the Met approaches its 200th birthday, the state of it would embarrass even my namesake. The force is ineffective, scandal-prone and discredited. Shoplifting is up 104 per cent since 2020. Knife crime has reached a 14-year high. In 2023, a review by Louise Casey declared the Met riddled with institutional sexism, racism and bullying. Many recent studies have found that more than half of Londoners do not trust their police.

Debate: is 2026 Kemi’s year?

16 min listen

Regular listeners will remember back in May we recorded a podcast debating whether Kemi Badenoch was the right fit for Tory leader. At that point in time the Conservatives were falling in the polls and she was facing allegations of laziness and a lack of a political vision. Spool forward to the end of the year and she is in her strongest position ever. She looks more assured in PMQs, her conference speech was a hit and her media game is much improved. But is she actually getting better, or is Starmer getting worse? And will this modest bump in fortunes translate to success at the local elections? James Heale speaks to Paul Goodman, Lara Brown and William Atkinson. Produced by Oscar Edmondson and Patrick Gibbons.

Has Badenoch bounced back?

Much like Alan Partridge, Kemi Badenoch hopes to have bounced back. After an unsure start to her first year as Tory leader – hopeless interviews and PMQs showings, and a local election shellacking – she now seems to be on a roll. Her two recent set piece speeches at conference and responding to the Budget were successes, her parliamentary performances have been more assured, and she can now get through an interview without declaring war on her ethnic enemies. The Conservatives are no longer spiralling towards fourth; her personal ratings have ticked up to the dizzying heights of -14. For the first time since Badenoch became leader, I feel a faint twig of optimism For those of us of a Kemi-sceptic disposition, this is quite distressing.

Why are we so suspicious of magpies?

I started counting magpies during my brief, doomed time as a history teacher. Trudging in every morning, the grim prospect of Weimar Germany with the Year 11s ahead, I began to take note of the number I spotted. If, on first sight, I spied only one, I knew I would have a terrible day. If I saw two, it would be lovely. If I spotted one, saluted furiously, said ‘Hello Captain’, told him the date, and then saw two, I might be all right. I’m not usually superstitious (I’m pessimistic enough to assume that everything usually turns out for the worst), so I’m not sure where this habit came from. Unfortunately, it is very hard to shift. Crossing St James’s Park each morning to reach the Spectator office means navigating a minefield of awkward salutes and mumbled hellos.

William Atkinson, Andreas Roth, Philip Womack, Mary Wakefield & Muriel Zagha

35 min listen

On this week’s Spectator Out Loud: William Atkinson reveals his teenage brush with a micropenis; Andreas Roth bemoans the dumbing down of German education; Philip Womack wonders how the hyphen turned political; Mary Wakefield questions the latest AI horror story – digitising dead relatives; and, Muriel Zagha celebrates Powell & Pressburger’s I Know Where I’m Going! Produced and presented by Patrick Gibbons.

My teenage brush with a micropenis

Like Adolf Hitler, I have been involved in a Channel 4 documentary about penises. I also share a love for watercolours and a partiality for Wagner but that, I promise, is where the similarities end. But back to penises. The Führer’s genitalia – or lack thereof – is a feature of a new documentary, Hitler’s DNA: Blueprint of a Dictator. The documentary makers have examined a scrap of the bloodied fabric from the bunker sofa upon which Hitler blew his brains out and the long – but mostly the short – of the findings are that history’s most evil man likely had underdeveloped sexual organs, including a micropenis and an undescended testicle.

Who is the greatest ever conservative?

40 min listen

From wartime leadership to economic revolutions, Conservative figures have shaped Britain’s past and present. But who stands out as the greatest of them all? In this conversation, recorded live at Conservative Party Conference: Katie Lam makes the case for William Pitt the Younger, Camilla Tominay nominates Margaret Thatcher, William Atkinson points out the number of young Tories who now idolise Enoch Powell, and Neil O’Brien explains why all conservatives should know about Jerzy Popieluszko. Who wins? You decide.

Finally we know what Badenoch stands for

10 min listen

This morning Kemi Badenoch wrapped up Tory conference with a speech that will – for now at least – calm Conservative jitters. The Tory leader’s hour-long address in Manchester was intended as a rejoinder to critics of her leadership and she certainly achieved that aim. Having been accused of lacking spirit, imagination and vigour, Badenoch today demonstrated all three and gave an idea of what the direction of the party looks like under her. The main headline grabbing announcement was her plan to abolish stamp duty – a surprise ‘rabbit’ that sparked a standing ovation. Is she safe, for now? Lucy Dunn speaks to James Heale and William Atkinson.

James Heale, William Atkinson, David Shipley, Angus Colwell and Aidan Hartley

25 min listen

On this week’s Spectator Out Loud: James Heale says that, for Labour, party conference was a ‘holiday from reality’; William Atkinson argues that the ‘cult of Thatcher’ needs to die; David Shipley examines the luxury of French prisons; Angus Colwell provides his notes on swan eating; and, Aidan Hartley takes listeners on a paleoanthropological tour from the Cradle of Mankind.  Produced and presented by Patrick Gibbons.

The Tories must free themselves from the cult of Thatcher

Like every Tory Boy, I had a Margaret Thatcher poster. I put it up when I was 15 and had just joined the party. Above my bed, resplendent in blue, the Iron Lady glowered down at my teddies. Naturally, it came down when I first brought home a girlfriend. For any young Tories lacking in Thatcher tat, this week’s Conservative party conference will provide plenty of opportunities for purchasing some. It (almost) coincides with the 100th anniversary of Thatcher’s birth on 13 October. The occasion has been heralded by a series of think-tank initiatives, dinners and conferences and the release of a one-volume edition of Charles Moore’s biography. The Iron Lady’s spectre looms as large as ever over this conference. Many of today’s Conservatives remain in hock to her.

The school tie renaissance

In the street across the road from my third-year Christ Church room, sat a pub called The Bear. It marketed itself as Oxford’s oldest inn – as so many of the city’s hostelries do – but it is most famous for its tie collection. More than 4,500 are on display, enclosed in cases around the walls. The collection began in 1952, when the landlord offered half a pint to anyone who would let him snip off a tie end. To qualify, the ties had to indicate membership of some institution: a club, college, regiment, sports team or school. Over the decades, a cornucopia of colours, stripes and logos has been collected. Inspector Morse once enlisted the landlord’s help in identifying one. The collection is now listed and cannot be altered or added to. I’m rather glad.

The lunacy of emotional support animals

Naturally, the start of the new school year is often stressful for pupils. Perhaps those anxious children returning to their classrooms this week could follow the example of Milly, a young Lancashire student. When picking up her GCSE results from her school, Tarleton Academy, near Preston, she brought her ‘best friend’ Kevin – a four-year-old ram. Milly says Kevin is her ‘therapy sheep’. He accompanies her ‘pretty much everywhere’. He was her date to the school prom, wearing a halter to match her dress. Milly seems resilient enough: later this year she is going to compete in the Young Shepherd of the Year competition. Perhaps her unwillingness to be parted from Kevin displays her dedication to her work.

Farage: Scrap the fracking ban and bomb Iran

Would a Reform government lift the ban on fracking? ‘Abso-bloody-lutely,’ is Nigel Farage's answer. Fracking and nuclear will form the core of Reform’s push for British energy self-sufficiency – a drive that will see the Net Zero target junked if the party wins power. The Reform leader made his remarks at ‘Net Zero: The New Brexit?’, a panel ebent in Westminster, put on by Heartland UK & Europe, a new cross-Atlantic offshoot of a prominent US think-tank. But while his punchiest view at the event was on the Iran-Israel war – ‘Let’s get rid of this bloody awful lot’ was his take on the Islamic Republic – the Reform leader clearly sees how the subject of energy can help his party to woo voters.

Dominic Cummings has run out of answers

On Wednesday, The Spectator dispatched me to Dominic Cummings’s Pharos lecture in Oxford. Packed into the Sheldonian theatre was an interesting crowd. I spotted several X anons, my A-Level politics teacher and Brass Eye creator Chris Morris. For many in the audience, this was a rare opportunity to see their hero; for one or two hecklers, it was a unique chance to harrumph at the villain of Brexit, lockdown, and Barnard Castle. You can read a transcript of his lecture here. I’m a Cummings fan. Having first discovered him via our political editor’s books, I began reading his blog as a teen. I worked through the reading lists, defended his eye test in my student magazine, and heralded him as the future of the right in an article only last year.

Debate: should Kemi Badenoch go?

30 min listen

Kemi Badenoch has come in for criticism since becoming leader of the opposition – for her energy, her performances at PMQs and her inability to galvanise her shadow cabinet. On this podcast, James Heale hosts the trial of Kemi Badenoch and asks whether someone else might be better placed to take the Tories into the next election and – more importantly – who that prince (or princess) across the water could be. The Spectator’s assistant content editor William Atkinson makes the case for the prosecution, while Michael Gove sets out why the Tories should stick with Kemi. Lara Brown, our new commissioning editor, acts as the jury. ‘If your house is on fire you don’t wait a year to call the fire brigade,’ says William.

Olenka Hamilton, Melanie McDonagh, Hannah Moore, James Delingpole and William Atkinson

31 min listen

On this week’s Spectator Out Loud: Olenka Hamilton ponders whether Poland’s revival is a mirage (1:24); Melanie McDonagh asks who killed the postal service (9:52); Hannah Moore argues that family cars aren’t built for families any more (14:35); James Delingpole reviews Careme from Apple TV and Chef’s Table from Netflix (21:15); and, William Atkinson provides his notes on Thomas the Tank Engine (26:48).  Presented by Patrick Gibbons. Produced by Oscar Edmondson and Patrick Gibbons.