William Atkinson

William Atkinson

William Atkinson is The Spectator's assistant content editor

Why the ‘school wars’ are overblown

From our UK edition

The recent ‘school wars’ farrago was an act of madness – or, more accurately, Madness. ‘All the kids have gone away/Gone to fight with next door’s school/Every term that is the rule’. So the Camden ska band sang on ‘Baggy Trousers’, their 1980 classic about their school days. Schoolchildren organising to duff up their contemporaries is not new; social media has made it easier for pupils to connect, parents to panic.   For the uninitiated, a TikTok trend thought to have begun in Hackney last month has seen posts pop up across the country – from Nottingham to Watford – encouraging children to meet for clashes between different schools organised into ‘red’ and ‘blue’ teams.

The strange cult of Shabana Mahmood

From our UK edition

Is Shabana Mahmood ‘one of the best Conservative Home Secretaries we have ever had’? Tory MP Edward Leigh thinks so. The Father of the House lavished praise on the Home Secretary in the Commons yesterday after Mahmood announced a ban on the annual al-Quds Day march. He isn’t the only right-winger to fall for Mahmood. Many have failed to clock how unpopular Mahmood has become with her own party Since her promotion to the Home Office, Mahmood has focused on restricting immigration, lengthening settlement periods and requirements for long-term migrants, limiting refugee status, offering money for voluntary departures and banning visas from certain countries.

What would Katie Lam’s defection to Reform mean for the Tories?

From our UK edition

Fresh from chastising Labour for not involving Britain more deeply in another American misadventure in the Middle East, Kemi Badenoch is reportedly planning a ‘root and branch’ shadow cabinet reshuffle. Those most at risk are said to be her top team of Shadow Chancellor Mel Stride, Shadow Foreign Secretary Priti Patel and Shadow Home Secretary Chris Philp. For Lam, there are plenty of reasons to defect to Nigel Farage’s party The intention, the Daily Mail suggests, is to promote younger MPs ‘to energise the battered Tory brand’. Stride is said to ‘lack energy’, Patel ‘reminds voters of record levels of migration’, and Philp is believed to ‘no longer [be] fully focused on the job at hand’. None of these is a surprise.

What Poilievre can (and can’t) teach the British Right

From our UK edition

Over the last week, I have been stalking Pierre Poilievre. The leader of the Canadian Conservative Party has been in Westminster to renew the bonds of Anglospheric amity; consequently, I had the pleasure of watching him speak on two successive evenings. The arc of history is long, but it bends towards Robert Jenrick Until a year or so ago, Poilievre was the Prince Across the Atlantic – a punchy and pugnacious Conservative would who had united his party around a popular and populist message of more housebuilding, tackling inflation and championing those working-class voters that Canada’s Liberals had taken for granted for too long. He built a hefty lead over Justin Trudeau and topped the polls among young voters.

Why I fell in love with Welsh nationalism

From our UK edition

Being a mildly Celtophobic Tory from Metro-Land, I’m an unlikely Welsh nationalist. Aside from once sharing a Christmas dinner with Cerys Matthews, I’ve few ties to the Principality. Nonetheless, last week I found myself at the conference of Plaid Cymru – the Party of Wales. If Wales did become independent, it would be a tragic loss, born from neglect My interest was piqued by last October’s Caerphilly Senedd by-election. Despite the confident assertions of Reform outriders that Nigel’s boy would walk it, Plaid won handily. Naturally, the London press rushed to interview the losing candidate, ignore the victor and forget the whole affair.

Badenoch’s integration speech is too little, too late

From our UK edition

If Kemi Badenoch makes a speech during a war with Iran, does anyone hear it? Following the Gorton and Denton by-election – but seemingly before President Trump had decided to set fire to the Middle East – the Conservative leader had intuited that it was time to outline her party’s new approach to our fraught multi-racial democracy. For now it is all buzzwords and no bite Emphasis on multi-racial, not multicultural. Badenoch said she had seen what a true multicultural society looked like while growing up in Nigeria: a country divided, despite a shared skin colour, by religion, culture and priorities. A country that she had left to come to a Britain defined by fairness, the rule of law and a tolerance for minorities, especially Jews.

‘It was making me think like a Latin American dictator’: why my moustache had to go

Iloved my moustache. Unfortunately, my fondness for it seemed inversely proportionate to its popularity among my peers. After much unsolicited feedback from friends (‘You look like a young Peter Mandelson’) and online strangers (‘You look like a 1970s porn star’), I put a poll on my Instagram asking my followers whether or not I should scrap it. Four-fifths said I should. After a brief consideration of my options (ignore the results? Rerun the vote? My moustache was making me think like a Latin American dictator), I reluctantly shaved. God how I miss it. There is something intoxicating about a moustache – a small hedgerow on his top lip can convince even the dowdiest man that he looks like a Battle of Britain pilot.

What Labour should have learnt from Dominic Cummings

From our UK edition

‘O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?’ Keir Starmer seems to have mirrored Juliet after deciding to move on Chris Wormald on as Cabinet Secretary. Yet the young Capulet was asking not where her lover was, but why he must be Romeo – a Montague. ‘Deny they father and refuse they name’, she implored, so that the pair could be together. With Antonia Romeo widely expected to be Wormald’s successor, a similar chorus of 'whys?' seems to be pricking up across Whitehall.

dominic cummings

Heaven is an Airfix Spitfire

From our UK edition

Last weekend, I sat in my kitchen to build and paint an Airfix model. I’d experimented before with mindful colouring and adult Lego, but this was my first try at the solo bachelor activity par excellence.  After a few hours of tugging, sticking and dabbing, I was quite impressed with my little Tiger 1 tank. The tread painting was a bit sloppy and the snapping of the turret unfortunate. But, for a kit that had cost me £8 in an Aldi middle aisle, it brought me tremendous joy – and not just because of the copious glue fumes I had inhaled. I worry I might be a little too late to the party. Earlier this month, Hornby – the company behind Airfix, Scalextric cars and the eponymous model railways – announced it was facing a ‘severe’ cash shortage.

Iran’s cheerleaders are on borrowed time

From our UK edition

Predictions ageing poorly is an occupational hazard for journalists and commentators. But few have gone as sour as those made by Roger Cooper in this magazine, in February 1979, days after the last Shah of Iran had fled. In a piece titled ‘Is Khomeini the leader for Iran?’, Cooper speculated that ‘the prospect… of an Iranian Islamic republic… must surely be more alluring to all but the most stubborn defenders of an ancient regime’. The Ayatollah, he suggested, offered Iranians ‘the chance to resume their true national and cultural identity’. No suggestion was made of imminent death squads, mass imprisonments or looming theocratic repression and economic hardship.  Cooper can be forgiven for failing to realise just how miserable the Islamic Republic would be.

Why does anyone still take Rory Stewart seriously?

From our UK edition

As per J. M. Barrie, one either believes in fairies, or they don’t. I take a similar approach to Rory Stewart. To his legions of Rest is Politics listeners, the ex-Tory MP, bedroom-squatter, and Afghanistan-botherer is a sage – as right-wing a voice as their timid and tiny middle-class minds can handle, successfully neutralised by co-hosting with 45-minute enthusiast Alistair Campbell. But to me he is a charlatan: another over-educated Balliol boy with a far higher opinion of himself than his public record merits. The example of his Dominic Cummings comments is a case in point. He is a charlatan: another over-educated Balliol boy with a far higher opinion of himself than his public record merits For those unfamiliar, a Stewart rant from June last year about the former No.

Justin Marozzi, Lisa Haseldine, William Atkinson & Toby Young

From our UK edition

32 min listen

On this week’s Spectator Out Loud: Justin Marozzi analyses what Trump’s coup in Venezuela means for Iran; Lisa Haseldine asks why Britain isn’t expanding its military capabilities, as European allies do so; William Atkinson argues that the MET’s attack on freemasonry is unjustified; and, Toby Young explains why the chickenpox vaccine is a positive health measure. Produced and presented by Patrick Gibbons.

In defence of the Freemasons

From our UK edition

It’s a personal delight that on 29 September 1829, the first day of Robert Peel’s new force, the first warrant number issued by the Metropolitan Police was to a William Atkinson. I’m less happy that officer number one was sacked after just four hours on duty, for being drunk. As the Met approaches its 200th birthday, the state of it would embarrass even my namesake. The force is ineffective, scandal-prone and discredited. Shoplifting is up 104 per cent since 2020. Knife crime has reached a 14-year high. In 2023, a review by Louise Casey declared the Met riddled with institutional sexism, racism and bullying. Many recent studies have found that more than half of Londoners do not trust their police.

Debate: is 2026 Kemi’s year?

From our UK edition

16 min listen

Regular listeners will remember back in May we recorded a podcast debating whether Kemi Badenoch was the right fit for Tory leader. At that point in time the Conservatives were falling in the polls and she was facing allegations of laziness and a lack of a political vision. Spool forward to the end of the year and she is in her strongest position ever. She looks more assured in PMQs, her conference speech was a hit and her media game is much improved. But is she actually getting better, or is Starmer getting worse? And will this modest bump in fortunes translate to success at the local elections? James Heale speaks to Paul Goodman, Lara Brown and William Atkinson. Produced by Oscar Edmondson and Patrick Gibbons.

Has Badenoch bounced back?

From our UK edition

Much like Alan Partridge, Kemi Badenoch hopes to have bounced back. After an unsure start to her first year as Tory leader – hopeless interviews and PMQs showings, and a local election shellacking – she now seems to be on a roll. Her two recent set piece speeches at conference and responding to the Budget were successes, her parliamentary performances have been more assured, and she can now get through an interview without declaring war on her ethnic enemies. The Conservatives are no longer spiralling towards fourth; her personal ratings have ticked up to the dizzying heights of -14. For the first time since Badenoch became leader, I feel a faint twig of optimism For those of us of a Kemi-sceptic disposition, this is quite distressing.

Why are we so suspicious of magpies?

From our UK edition

I started counting magpies during my brief, doomed time as a history teacher. Trudging in every morning, the grim prospect of Weimar Germany with the Year 11s ahead, I began to take note of the number I spotted. If, on first sight, I spied only one, I knew I would have a terrible day. If I saw two, it would be lovely. If I spotted one, saluted furiously, said ‘Hello Captain’, told him the date, and then saw two, I might be all right. I’m not usually superstitious (I’m pessimistic enough to assume that everything usually turns out for the worst), so I’m not sure where this habit came from. Unfortunately, it is very hard to shift. Crossing St James’s Park each morning to reach the Spectator office means navigating a minefield of awkward salutes and mumbled hellos.

William Atkinson, Andreas Roth, Philip Womack, Mary Wakefield & Muriel Zagha

From our UK edition

35 min listen

On this week’s Spectator Out Loud: William Atkinson reveals his teenage brush with a micropenis; Andreas Roth bemoans the dumbing down of German education; Philip Womack wonders how the hyphen turned political; Mary Wakefield questions the latest AI horror story – digitising dead relatives; and, Muriel Zagha celebrates Powell & Pressburger’s I Know Where I’m Going! Produced and presented by Patrick Gibbons.

My teenage brush with a micropenis

From our UK edition

Like Adolf Hitler, I have been involved in a Channel 4 documentary about penises. I also share a love for watercolours and a partiality for Wagner but that, I promise, is where the similarities end. But back to penises. The Führer’s genitalia – or lack thereof – is a feature of a new documentary, Hitler’s DNA: Blueprint of a Dictator. The documentary makers have examined a scrap of the bloodied fabric from the bunker sofa upon which Hitler blew his brains out and the long – but mostly the short – of the findings are that history’s most evil man likely had underdeveloped sexual organs, including a micropenis and an undescended testicle.

Who is the greatest ever conservative?

From our UK edition

40 min listen

From wartime leadership to economic revolutions, Conservative figures have shaped Britain’s past and present. But who stands out as the greatest of them all? In this conversation, recorded live at Conservative Party Conference: Katie Lam makes the case for William Pitt the Younger, Camilla Tominay nominates Margaret Thatcher, William Atkinson points out the number of young Tories who now idolise Enoch Powell, and Neil O’Brien explains why all conservatives should know about Jerzy Popieluszko. Who wins? You decide.

Finally we know what Badenoch stands for

From our UK edition

10 min listen

This morning Kemi Badenoch wrapped up Tory conference with a speech that will – for now at least – calm Conservative jitters. The Tory leader’s hour-long address in Manchester was intended as a rejoinder to critics of her leadership and she certainly achieved that aim. Having been accused of lacking spirit, imagination and vigour, Badenoch today demonstrated all three and gave an idea of what the direction of the party looks like under her. The main headline grabbing announcement was her plan to abolish stamp duty – a surprise ‘rabbit’ that sparked a standing ovation. Is she safe, for now? Lucy Dunn speaks to James Heale and William Atkinson.