He was only seeing me for my Netflix password
From our UK edition
‘Turns out he was only seeing me for my Netflix password.’
Wilbur
Wednesday
Wednesday
Whatever happened to AI taking all the jobs
From our UK edition
‘Whatever happened to AI taking all the jobs?’
Wednesday
Fish and micro-chips
From our UK edition
Crikey! It’s Penny Mordaunt!
From our UK edition
‘Crikey! It’s Penny Mordaunt!’
Wednesday
I’m swearing allegiance
From our UK edition
‘I’m swearing allegiance to Gary Lineker.’
Wednesday
Right after they learn to identify one
From our UK edition
‘Right after they learn to identify one.’
Evaporated milk
From our UK edition
Wednesday
We need to think outside the box
From our UK edition
‘We need to think outside the box.’
The only thing that keeps me going are the teachers’ strikes
From our UK edition
‘The only thing that keeps me going are the teachers’ strikes.’
Sold off, and without apology or reparation
From our UK edition
Sold off, and without apology or reparation for the years of enforced servitude.
Wednesday
They will never make me endure this until I’m 64!
From our UK edition
‘They will never make me endure this until I’m 64!’
Nitrous oxide banned
From our UK edition
‘This is no laughing matter.’
April Fool!
From our UK edition
‘All’s well in the world... April Fool!’
Murdering people is still considered absolutely fine
From our UK edition
‘Don’t worry, murdering people is still considered absolutely fine.’
Wednesday
Big rise in shop lifting
From our UK edition
I’m getting the new fat jab
From our UK edition
‘I’m getting the new fat jab.’
Thursday
The dog sensitivity-read my homework
From our UK edition
‘The dog sensitivity-read my homework.’
Wednesday
Turning in his grave
From our UK edition
‘I’ve come as Roald Dahl, miss. Turning in his grave’
I’m afraid there’s an egg shortage and a soldier shortage
From our UK edition
‘I’m afraid there’s an egg shortage and a soldier shortage.’