Steerpike

Steerpike

Steerpike is The Spectator's gossip columnist, serving up the latest tittle tattle from Westminster and beyond. Email tips to steerpike@spectator.co.uk or message @MrSteerpike

Thursday

Steerpike

Keith Vaz says fellow MP ‘needs more sex’

The huge rift in the Home Affairs Select Committee was laid bare last week when Guardian editor Alan Rusbridger appeared before the committee to defend his decision to publish state secrets and to challenge criticism that he had endangered national security by doing so. Committee chairman Keith Vaz always enjoys being in the limelight. He took great pleasure in slapping down lawyer turned Tory MP Michael Ellis, who was getting very grumpy at proceedings and said that he would not let the hearing turn into ‘a Labour love in’. Vaz hit back later that day, saucily telling your humble correspondent that Ellis ‘just needs more sex’. When this was put to Ellis, the Tory said he that had the greatest respect for his chairman, ‘usually’.

Steerpike

Adam Afriyie’s fantasy government

It's a shame that Adam Afriyie now seems to be a busted flush when it comes to his leadership ambitions. The Tory MP had succeeded not just in designating his fantasy cabinet, but also the lower ministerial ranks. Mr Steerpike hears that at the height of his plotting, he sidled up to fellow Conservative James Gray in a lift to tell him that his talents were not being appreciated by the Prime Minister. Then he added, comfortingly, that though he couldn't offer him a place in his Cabinet, he'd definitely be able to do something at Minister of State level. Gray did not want to give a comment to Mr Steerpike, but presumably he was delighted to have been considered at all by the great man.

Steerpike

The Pollard penny drops for Lord Patten

When the Pollard Report into the BBC Jimmy Savile abuse affair was published in December 2012, BBC Trust Chairman Lord Patten confidently told a press conference: 'As far as we’re concerned the report is an excellent account of what happened. We’re totally in support of the recommendations, and that as far as I am concerned is that.'  But that has not been that. Readers will recall that Helen Boaden’s testimony, relating to a conversation that she had with Mark Thompson about the Newsnight investigation into Jimmy Savile, was omitted from the report. It should be noted that Mr Thompson has ‘slightly different recollections’ of this conversation than does Ms.

Wednesday

Steerpike

Now Ed Miliband is on #TeamNigella too!

Ed Miliband wanted agreement from the Prime Minister about MPs' pay today, but Mr Steerpike hears that the Labour leader is keen to strike agreement on another topic. After David Cameron revealed to the Spectator that he was a member of #TeamNigella, Labour sources whisper to Steerpike that Ed is 'definitely a member of #TeamNigella too'. So that just leaves Nick Clegg.

Steerpike

Is Red Balls toast?

Ed Balls, the Shadow Chancellor, gave an abortive performance in response to the Autumn Statement last week; he blamed his embarrassment on the cacophony of jeers from the Tory benches. You might have thought that Balls would lay low this week. Not a bit of it. There he was chanting 'Dave, Dave, Dave' and testing his new hand gesture, which is simply to point downwards. ‘He can dish it out but he can't take it,’ said the PM. Cameron is easily riled by Balls; but he went in for the kill this time: ‘I'll tell you what's going down: his career’. It wasn't a great line; but the fact that Ed Miliband was openly laughing at the gag should concern the dwindling forces in the Balls camp.

Tuesday

Steerpike

World leaders pay tribute to Mandela… with a selfie

Where were you when the world remembered Nelson Mandela? David Cameron, Barack Obama and Helle Thorning Schmidt will always be able to answer that question with their memorial service selfie, snapped in the FNB Stadium in Johannesburg today. Michelle Obama seemed oddly reluctant to join in.

Steerpike

Times are changing at the Taxpayers’ Alliance

Those tortured souls who study the Kremlinology of Westminster think-tanks had some rare excitement last night. Out went Matthew Sinclair as the Chief Executive of the Taxpayers’ Alliance (TPA), the tax cutting campaigners, and up stepped Jonathan Isaby, once of the Telegraph and ConservativeHome, to replace him. Isaby was political director at the TPA. John O’Connell, who is fresh from the TPA’s successful lobbying campaign against fuel duty and beer taxes, becomes overall director. Matthew Elliott, the group’s founder, announced the news this morning.

Steerpike

David Cameron: why I’m on #TeamNigella

The Prime Minister is interviewed by Fraser Nelson in the Christmas treble issue of The Spectator, out on Thursday. After dutifully answering questions on tax, China and welfare he cut to the chase: at a time when the nation is divided between those backing Charles Saatchi and those backing his ex-wife, what's David Cameron's position? When asked "Are you on Team Nigella" he gave a straight answer: ‘I am. I’m a massive fan, I’ve had the great pleasure of meeting her a couple of times and she always strikes me as a very funny and warm person, but I’m also an amateur cook and I like like her recipes. Nancy [Cameron’s nine-year-old daughter] and I sometimes watch a bit of Nigella on telly. Not in court, I hasten to add.

Monday

Steerpike

Regal austerity

These are troubled times for Princess Michael of Kent. Austerity has hit Kensington Palace. ‘We’ve cut back dramatically,’ she tells the Times. ‘I mean we never go out to dinner unless we go to somebody’s house. We never go to restaurants. That’s too extravagant.’ It sounds just ghastly. And, I regret to say, that the princess travels in less style than she used to: ‘I love Easyjet. It’s the only direct route to Biarritz. We always fly tourist-class anyway in Europe.’ Although it may sound like the Baroness Marie Christine Anna Agnes Hedwig Ida is enduring Dickensian privations, she does say: ‘for long-haul, we go club.’ Phew! I was about to call for a whip-round.

Steerpike

Coffee Shots: George Osborne, action Chancellor

When George Osborne paid tribute to the 'march of the makers' in his 2011 Budget, few thought the Chancellor was secretly plotting to join the march himself. But as part of his tour of #hardworkingpeople, Osborne hasn't just been pointing at things, like normal politicians: he's been making things too. Today he made a cake: But he's also made bread: And made parts for JCB, working in this picture with a stud gun: In fact, Osborne likes making vehicles.

Friday

Steerpike

Welcome to Maggie Land

Mr Steerpike was among the throng that gathered at the East India Club on Thursday night to hear about the development of the Margaret Thatcher Centre, the project to perpetuate the legacy of Britain’s greatest post-war leader. Donal Blaney, the Thatcher Centre’s CEO, and Conor Burns MP invited the Lady’s ‘most fervent supporters’ to pledge £1,000 each in a ‘true sign appreciation to Lady Thatcher’. Blaney also explained why he is ‘devoting his life’ to the project, telling the predominantly male but surprisingly young crowd: ‘Lady Thatcher delivered; now it’s our turn.’ The organisers have drawn inspiration from the USA.

Thursday

Steerpike

James Harding’s right: the BBC must do some ‘accountability journalism’, but on the Savile scandal report

Director of BBC News James Harding made a fascinating speech on Wednesday, setting out his mission statement for the Corporation's newsroom: ‘Let’s start with holding people to account. In the offices of our local radio stations and regional TV operations – the places where the BBC does so much of its best work – we should play to that particular strength: accountability journalism.’ Mr S lives and breathes 'accountability journalism'; it’s his eau-de-vie. But Harding seems to have a different understanding of the term than your humble correspondent.

Wednesday

Steerpike

Coffee Shots: PM’s ping-pong

He's played with the President of the United States, and now the Prime Minister has enjoyed a game of ping-pong with schoolchildren on the final day of his visit to China to celebrate netting a series of business deals for the UK.

Steerpike

Leaders debates are on: officially

Westminster Christmas party season is in full swing. Half the Cabinet dropped by the Sky News bash at the Intercontinental last night. Mick Hucknall was also there, which was odd. The big news of the evening came when the head of Sky News, Jon Riley, confirmed that all three party leaders have now officially agreed to TV debates at the next election. Details were sparse because there appears to be deadlock over formats, timings and even the number of debates. The debates are on, though. Officially. In some form. It was a busy old evening for political-ornithologists. Tim Yeo lurked in the corner, looking glum. Chris Bryant refused to ‘twerk’ with Guido Fawkes.

Tuesday

Steerpike

Coffee Shots: Boris Johnson’s Christmas cheer

If only Boris Johnson had enjoyed as fun a day as his mannequin in Madame Tussauds. While the Mayor struggled with an IQ test set by LBC's Nick Ferrari, his waxwork was donning a cheery Christmas jumper for Save the Children's Christmas jumper campaign.

Steerpike

Russia’s take over of London is complete

There are so many Russians in London that they are able to pack the Royal Albert Hall for the launch of their own season. Bentleys lined South Kensington for last night’s Russian Debutante Ball. The Royal Philharmonic struck up some tunes, the Bolshoi danced and three of the most famous Russian tenors - Dmitry Korchak, Daniil Shtoda and Vladimir Galouzine - were in fine voice. 75 Russian debs waltzed their way into London society. The take over is complete. The irony was not lost on the ball’s organisers, who nodded to the somewhat frosty relationship between the UK and Russia currently. Mr S’s Russian is a little shaky; but, luckily, he had a translator on hand: ‘We are not an aggressive people, we love balls. We want to show that to the people of Britain.

Steerpike

Life imitates art at the Gay Hussar

The Gay Hussar, the Hungarian establishment favoured by socialists with a fondness for champagne, has been in difficulties. Mr Steerpike related a joke that was doing the rounds: drum roll please… a patrons’ co-operative might save the old place! Well, they’ve only gone and done it. Fans of goulash and Tokay are looking to raise £200,000 by Thursday. Tory boy Iain Dale has the details if you want to join. (What's that famous political gag about the right cleaning up the left's mess?) If the Hussar remains open, Mr Steerpike has a request: someone, please do something about the food.

Steerpike

RIP Leo Cooper

The publisher Leo Cooper has died aged 79. Cooper, who was the husband of novelist Jilly Cooper, had been suffering from Parkinson’s disease for many years. His widow told me last year that the Spectator brought her husband ‘a great amount of pleasure’ in his later years. He remained a subscriber long after his illness was diagnosed. ‘He would read it cover to cover every week,’ she said. Mr S would like to pass on the Spectator's condolences.

Steerpike

Coffee Shots: David Cameron’s selfie shame

Another day, another selfie crime. This time, it’s our Prime Minister, who is currently in China, where he is leading the British trade delegation. He tweeted this picture of himself with entrepreneur Jack Ma and hashtagged the word ‘selfie’: Jack Ma took a #selfie of us together, which I promised to share! #UKChina pic.twitter.com/Uhx4QCI1On — David Cameron (@David_Cameron) December 3, 2013 Dave has made the classic selfie mistake though: he’s looking at the screen, rather than at the camera (unlike Ma, who is clearly well versed in taking photos on his phone). Unfortunately, Dave can’t even claim he’s a novice. He’s taken selfies before, like the one above from the Olympics. Other politicians are getting down with the kids too.

Monday

Steerpike

Champagne sales point to stable recovery at Gold Cup

Green shoots were visible in Newbury on Saturday for the 57th Hennessy Gold Cup. While brandy cocktails warmed the punters in the Fred Winter Suite, Rob Brydon and Martin Clunes chatted up Joan Collins, who, despite being the most famous person in the room, was wearing a name badge. Myleene Klass displayed a lack of class when posing for a photograph with Princess Anne. And Tinie Tempah might want to have a word with his tailor: the rapper’s trousers were cut off half way up his shin and he must have been freezing without any socks on. Mr Steerpike feared that he might have had one too many nips of the Paradis Imperial when he saw the diarist from the Times singing a duet of Memory with Elaine Paige. But I’m reliably informed that this actually happened.