Steerpike

If Grant Shapps and John Major gave a speech but no journalists were there to cover it, did it really happen? That’s what happened today. The Tories invited one pooled camera into their headquarters to see the former prime minister stand next to the party chairman in a belated attempt to prove that at least two senior Tories did not go to Eton. Loyal MPs and spinners delivered the speech line-by-line on Twitter; but the only interesting bits were briefed out to the Daily Mail last night. Apparently, Sir John could only afford half an hour off from watching cricket, so there was no time for a Q&A – nothing at all to do with his off-message comments that have generated plenty of column inches over the last year.

Today's Cabinet meeting in Aberdeen, now underway, has given ministers plenty of opportunity to stare earnestly at Scottish things while trying to make the case for the Union. Here are some of Mr Steerpike's favourites. [caption id="attachment_8719911" align="alignnone" width="620"] Image copyright The Cabinet Office[/caption]   All captions gratefully received in the comments...

What is the Chancellor describing here during an event in Sydney? Or perhaps this is a new hand gesture to deploy against Ed Balls at Treasury Questions?

Lucky Lord Adonis has spent the last few days travelling around London by bus as part of his ‘London By Bus’ campaign. He’s been chatting to commuters and sharing interesting facts like bus route 25 carries 64,000 passengers a day which is equivalent to the population of Crewe. As the picture above shows, he’s setting the town on fire. Now, I’m sure that his lordship takes his role as Shadow Infrastructure Minister very seriously (who wouldn’t); but is there more at play here? The sheer volume of pictures of him meeting concerned parties and pointing at various things might indicate the imminent launch of an election campaign.

It seems the launch of the new Liberal Democrat website is not going very well. Apparently the party of tuition fees and Nick Clegg is 'untrusted'. 'What should you do?', it asks. Lib Dem HQ will be hoping most people do not click 'Get me out of here!' come 2015. With their recent overtures to Labour, those that do vote yellow should certainly 'understand the risks'.

Pint-sized Tory MP Dominic Raab ruffled the feathers of the powerful with his amendment to the Immigration Bill last month, which forced the government into a humiliating abstention. Raab has a growing group of supporters (who call themselves the Raabels) on the backbenches. His popularity has made an impression in the corridors of power. I hear that spinners for one Cabinet minister have taken to turning down broadcast bids by saying: 'Try Dominic Raab, he's always keen for publicity!

Norman Baker was dispatched to the Home Office at the last reshuffle in order to have a strong liberal voice in the department; it was felt that the Tories' favourite Lib Dem, Jeremy Browne, had been too 'right wing'. Baker promised to give a 'clear, liberal input' from day one. Funny, then, that he is overseeing the reclassification of Ketamine from Class C to Class B, especially as Nick Clegg has said that Britain needs to look again at drug legalisation after his recent fact-finding trip to Columbia. For the uninitiated, Ketamine is a horse tranquilizer that has somehow been labelled as a 'dance drug'.

Nigel Farage has been warning of a 'deluge' for some time: it's just that he was talking about migrants, not rivers. But the Ukip leader is never one to avoid capitalising on a crisis, so here he is yesterday, visiting flood-stricken Burrowbridge.

Downing Street comms supremo Craig Oliver texted ‘could this be the start of a beautiful new relationship?’ to a Telegraph executive when Tony Gallagher departed as editor of the once staunchly Tory broadsheet. It seems that Michael Gove did not get the memo, though. Gove dropped by Telegraph towers on Buckingham Palace Road yesterday to give an interview, after which his government chauffeur contrived to drive his car into the side of the building – something many an MP must wish they could do after the Telegraph-led expenses scandal. A witness tells me: ‘he actually dealt with it very well’. After checking on his driver, Gove cracked a joke about the car being fine because Jags are built in Britain.