Steerpike

Chuka Umunna was on the receiving end of an internet storm after he suggested that people who vote UKIP are either too old or too stupid to do things like 'sending and receiving an email, browsing the internet, filling in an online form.' Angry E-Kippers flooded the Shadow Business Secretary’s inbox with proof to the contrary. Now it seems it is Chuka who is struggling online: 'Parliament's computers are being upgraded,' moans the self-styled smooth operator. 'It is absolutely awful - would love to go back to the previous version!' So it is not just Ukip that harks back to a bygone age.

Labour’s ‘media grid’ for this week had Miliband’s millionaire spinner Tom Baldwin pencilled in to brief Times journalist Rachel Sylvester and give her an exclusive story for Tuesday's paper. When the paper landed it was actually lots of Labour figures slagging off the leader, and saying how Ed had lots of policies but not the character to be PM. That's some class A spinning for you.

Mr S wandered down to Ed Miliband's big business speech at the 'Inclusive Prosperity' conference at the Science Museum today, and it has to be said: it was all a bit weird. While the space age theme of the ‘breakout’ coffee room was rather funky, it was so dark that you could not actually see anyone's face or work out who you are talking to. The whole thing had the feel of a night club—all be it one hosting a geek-themed fetish evening—about it. Perhaps this is how the Labour leader likes to interact with big business – cloaking it in darkness so he can pretend it is not there.

What has Labour got against people who work in McDonald's? Last week we had Liam Byrne's burger flip, where he slammed the same fast food employer for which he used to sizzle with praise. Now Andy Burnham has told the Unite conference in Liverpool: 'What sort of message are we sending out when we say social care is the lowest form of work - lower even than McDonald's.' In the UK there are 91,500 people currently employed by McDonald's, and many of them are at the lower end of the pay scale. These are people that Labour should be trying to win over – not belittling.

Mr Steerpike's suggestion that things could be getting so bad for Labour that they may have to call on the services of Damian McBride, based on the disgraced former spin doctor's helpful recent interventions, has ruffled a few feathers in Westminster. A Labour source pours an ice bucket on the idea: 'I think it's an audition for a post-2015 role. But it's nuts. The book killed him. It made any return a delusion. He could have apologised. Instead he was smug. Disgusting.' We'll take that as a maybe then. Predictably the Conservatives are gleeful at the prospect of McBride redux. A Tory source teases: 'Labour need all the help they can get. And let's face it McBride would do a better job than Tom Baldwin who is barely house trained.

Is Damian McBride auditioning for a job as the saviour of the Labour Party spin operation? His re-energised blogging would certainly indicate as much. In the last few weeks the Brownite bad boy has left his job with Catholic aid charity Cafod, and returned to writing full time. He's also managed to make a compelling argument for why his misdemeanours cannot now be compared to those of Andy Coulson, despite the best efforts of the Prime Minister and the Chancellor: 'So if the Tories want to keep using the ‘What about Damian McBride?

Journalists do, occasionally, say something nice about politicians. It does not happen very often; but, when it does, it’s usually heartfelt. Adam Boulton hosted a party at the Savoy last night to celebrate his 25 years at Sky News. Boulton heaped praise on those politicians with whom he has worked while covering the life and times of ‘5 Prime Ministers, 5 US Presidents, 5 Labour leaders, 6 Tory leaders and 4 Lib Dems – and counting’. He said: ‘As journalists, we need people who are prepared to engage our profession with their arguments and accountability. And you do. And often. And properly, which is vital to the democratic process.

Mr Justice Saunders, who presided over the phone hacking trial, is not impressed with David Cameron and Ed Miliband. He has branded the various political interventions of yesterday afternoon as 'unsatisfactory so far as justice and the rule of law are concerned.' Stern words from the bench. One wonders what the government's lawyers make of them. Indeed, Mr S understands that Dominic Grieve QC, the Attorney General (the government’s chief legal officer), was actually inside No. 10 when Cameron was recording his ‘full and frank apology’ yesterday. Did Grieve advise the Prime Minister? Mr S contacted Grieve’s office.

The Queen has visited the set of Game of Thrones in Northern Ireland. Frankly, she did not look that enamoured with the Iron Throne. Much to the disappointment of the gathered media, she did not sit down. In fact, she seemed indifferent to the hype...

It's a row that won't go away, after Mr S revealed yesterday that the PM had labelled Dominic Cummings a 'career psychopath', Michael Gove's former special adviser has hit back, blogging: "At the PolEx party (18/6), Cameron said that I am a ‘career psychopath’. A) No10′s first reaction was to decide not to react to my interview, then one of his friends pleaded with me to ‘leave him alone because Miliband would be even worse’ and another threatened me (incompetently). The fact that Cameron then blurts out an insult reviving the story four days later is an example of my point about the lack of focus in No10. If they can’t decide a consistent line on me, what chance on ISIS?!

Former CIA director and US Army General David Petraeus is in town hosted by the Henry Jackson Society. But that’s classified. For some reason Petraeus is being very shy in front of journalists (well, most journalists). The event in the House of Commons this afternoon is being held under the Chatham House Rule. All media, your humble correspondent included, have been refused entry. What was it about the affair with his biographer that led to his resignation as America’s top spook which the shy general does not want to be asked about?

Farewell then, Jeremy Paxman. The veteran broadcaster bows out of Newsnight tonight.

Iranian president Hassan Rouhani has a long way to go if he is serious about his awkward watching sport photographs. Proud of our boys who secured our first point--hopefully the first of many more to come. #WorldCup2014 #TeamMelli pic.twitter.