Steerpike

Post Blair’s government, Alastair Campbell has billed himself as a pious, ethical commentator on the state of the media and politics. If there’s one thing he can’t stand, it’s the negative campaigning from the Tories, and especially from his old foe Lynton Crosby: ‘Meanwhile lest anyone dare to say the Tories are only fighting a negative campaign against Labour, perish the thought... I have seen some dire campaigns in my time. Crosby’s Michael Howard 2005 vintage springs to mind. But this one is taking all the awards for the direst. They are not so much making it up as they go along as going along not sure what they just made up. It is squalid and pathetic. It is not even worth calling it a campaign.

After Nick Clegg enjoyed a night out at the pub earlier this month, it only seems fair that his wife Miriam González Durántez should also be allowed to let off some steam. So Mr S was glad to see that she was a guest at last night's WIE (Women: Inspiration & Enterprise) Awards Gala at Goldsmiths' Hall. Conscious that her decision to attend a glitzy bash so close to polling day might raise eyebrows, Miriam explained in her speech that she was breaking election etiquette and that Clegg's political advisors would prefer her to be at home: 'Unfortunately General Elections are not seen by political advisers as good times for wives of political leaders to be attending fashion events. They are way too glamorous.

After Mr S's colleague Camilla Swift revealed how the BBC misquoted David Cameron as saying he loved foxhunting when he appeared on the Andrew Marr Show, they were accused by some of showing 'left-wing bias'. Now a new row is brewing between the Tories and the BBC. Perhaps still angry about the BBC's behaviour two weeks ago when Marr interrogated Cameron about his 'favourite' sport, this morning the Prime Minister appeared to take a dig at the corporation's economics editor. Speaking at the Conservatives' small business launch, Cameron told small business owners: 'You are responsible for turn around. Small businesses, entrepreneurs, the grafters. A really big thank you for what you've done. 5,000 businesses wrote in to say continue the job.

The Prime Minister's claim that he supports Aston Villa has never been quite believed by football fans. And today, it seems, he has changed his allegiance - telling an audience (above) that they should support West Ham. CCHQ has not, as yet, come up with an explanation as to why he didn't say Aston Villa (other than the fact that he's no more a Villa fan than Gordon Brown was an Arctic Monkeys fan - his biography has plenty references to villas, but none to Aston Villa). But when the explanation comes, Mr S will update. UPDATE: The Prime Minister may have been exaggerating his attachment to football. Here are some quotes, before he became party leader:- @paulwaugh @MarinaHyde @GaryLineker from Hansard in 2001. Admits not a football fan pic.twitter.

Gordon Brown is saying some strange things. He is being chased out of Fife by the nationalist genie that he pulled out of the bottle, but snarling at the SNP as he does so. He made an extraordinary pledge yesterday when speaking in his soon-to-be-abandoned home of Kirkcaldy. ‘We can’t wait beyond May 8 so within 24 hours a Labour Government will trigger an emergency plan to tackle hunger in Scotland and immediately pay £1 million to ensure food banks across Scotland are better stocked. This is odd: why not give cash to English ones too? Or can they wait beyond May 8 because they're, em, English? Mr S has asked about, and there seems to be no plan to do this in England.

It's St George's Day so to celebrate Ukip held a press conference where they gifted red and white jester hats adorned with St George's flags to journalists. Talk soon turned to the real crux of the matter: as a foreigner of alleged Turkish descent, would Ukip have allowed St George entry into the country? Patrick O'Flynn was on hand to answer the pressing immigration query: 'If Ukip were in power in the third century then yes I suppose St George would be allowed in the country. He is a skilled migrant, he could slay dragons.' A Ukip party spokesman has since gone one step further and suggested that St George would even be allowed into the country in the present day were Ukip in power, as 'a points based system' would look fondly on his case.

Nigel Farage has fought off accusations that he's an invisible candidate in South Thanet, claiming to have held more public meetings than all of the other candidates put together. But are Ukip getting ahead of themselves in the ultra-tight race on the Kent coast? Mr S hears that invitations are already circulating for an election night party in the constituency, hosted by fun-loving donor Arron Banks. Organising the victory party two weeks out from polling day looks complacent at best. Sources familiar with party planning have revealed to Mr S that the multi-millionaire tycoon has invited people to join him in the constituency on election night and drinks will certainly be served. Yet Ukip spinners stonewalled when asked to 'confirm or deny' that the event was taking place.