Steerpike

Tories up and down the country should be celebrating tonight after it was revealed that walking CCHQ advert Zarah Sultana has kept her seat intact in the report by the Boundary Commission. The hard left MP has served as a Conservative recruiting agent since 2019 when the 27-year-old squeaked home in Coventry South by just 401 votes – down from some 7,947 her Labour predecessor Jim Cunningham managed just two years earlier. And this afternoon Sultana gave us some indication as to why she hemorrhaged votes to such an extent at the last election. Popping up today at Home Office oral questions, Sultana asked Priti Patel about detention conditions for asylum seekers at Napier barracks.

As culture secretary, Matt Hancock developed a taste for technology, even launching his own eponymous social network in February 2018. But now as health secretary it appears his appetite for big data has grown ever greater. Not content with launching the NHS Covid app as part of a £22 billion test and trace scheme, his latest wheeze is to partner up with the UK's most popular dating devices including Tinder, Bumble and Hinge to boost vaccine uptake. A gushing departmental press release proudly details how, from Monday, these apps will provide 'bonuses, stickers and profile badges' for vaccinated users.

In a sign that nature is truly healing, this afternoon brought reassuring news of a great parliamentary tradition reasserting itself: the House of Lords hereditary by-election. These contests are held every time one of the 92 hereditary peers still in the Upper House die and see the great and the not-so-good vote among themselves to elect one of their number for a seat on the red benches. Elections have been suspended due to Covid since March 2020 but now they are back, with four spots up for grabs: one as a crossbench peer and three on the Tory side. Mr S has spent the afternoon combing through the manifestos to bring you the best and the worst of the election statements put out by the lucky lords and ladies hoping to make it into the Upper House.

This week, the government yet again threw the country’s holiday plans into chaos, after it announced that Portugal would be moved to the ‘amber list’ on Tuesday, meaning those returning from the country will have to quarantine at home for ten days. Little did the government know though that the Portuguese travel chaos would affect its own inner workings. The Daily Mail reports today that Michael Gove had to leave a meeting with Boris Johnson and devolved leaders after being pinged by the NHS app. It is thought that he came into contact with a Covid sufferer after traveling to the Champions League final in Porto last week with his son, a Chelsea supporter. It is thought that 12,000 English fans travelled to Portugal for the game, between two English clubs.

After last night's insipid 1-0 win over Austria, England manager Gareth Southgate had plenty to say – and not just about the football itself. Responding to fans who booed when the Three Lions' players 'took the knee' before the game, Southgate told journalists that 'we have got a situation where some people seem to think it’s a political stand that they don’t agree with' adding that 'some people aren’t quite understanding the message.' It seems the former Crystal Palace captain's words have not found favour with right-wing Tory MPs whose Common Sense anti-woke manifesto was published last month.

Keir Starmer's appearance on Piers Morgan's 'Life Stories' is a sign of desperation. The Labour leader knows he must do something about the dire situation his party is in, following the disastrous defeat at the Hartlepool by-election. One of the big criticisms levelled at Starmer is that he lacks charisma. His decision to agree to be interviewed by Morgan is an attempt to do something about that, by showing people the 'real' Starmer. Unfortunately, though, it seems there are some things that remain off limits, not least what Starmer the student got up to during his time at Leeds university.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfyfBX1IlT0 Morgan quizzed Starmer at least ten times on whether the Labour leader had ever dabbled in anything stronger than alcohol.

The wedding of Boris Johnson and Carrie Symonds was a highly secretive affair. The couple tied the knot yesterday at Westminster cathedral, with key aides being kept out of the loop for fear of leaks. So Mr S was surprised to spot one high-profile Remainer pictured emerging from Downing Street in wedding attire last night, having been apparently sworn to secrecy. The 'mystery man' in a gold waistcoat who the Mail captured here with the label 'it is not clear what their relation to the newlyweds is' is none other than one Hugo Dixon.

After Dominic Cummings's seven-hour evidence session slating Boris Johnson and his ministers, it's been a difficult few days of press coverage for 10 Downing Street. There were even rumours last week that the Prime Minister could embark on a Cabinet reshuffle to change the news agenda. However, it seems that may not be necessary. Today Boris Johnson married his fiancee Carrie Symonds in a secret ceremony at Westminster cathedral. After sending out invites this week to friends for a big celebration of their marriage next summer, the couple tied the knot in a Catholic ceremony with 30 of their closest friends and families. The plans are reported to have been so top secret that many of Johnson's aides were kept out of the loop for fears of a leak.

At long last the ministerial register of interests is here – a mere five months after it was due. The register was released today to accompany the findings of the independent adviser on ministers’ interests, Christopher Geidt, into whether Boris Johnson's No. 10 flat shenanigans broke the ministerial code (spoiler: he didn't.) Mr S has spent the afternoon looking at the register and picking out the most interesting gigs, perks and possible conflicts of interests detailed. Johnson himself lists 12 charities and non-profit organisations with which he has links including the Anglo Turkish society of which he is president and Hillingdon golf club in Uxbridge who presented him with honorary membership in his capacity as the local MP.