Steerpike

The sound of chinking glasses and merry laughter greeted Steerpike yesterday as he made his way through the Westminster village. Rishi Sunak might have placed an edict on Treasury staff holding their traditional office drinking session while watching him deliver his spring statement but clearly some just decamped to SW1's watering holes instead. What better way to greet the biggest fall in living standards in any single financial year. One baby-faced apparatchik was overhead remarking: 'That went alright, didn't it?' Less than 24 hours on, Mr S isn't so sure that's the judgement of the commentariat....

When you've held the highest elected office in the land, subsequent honours might all seem a bit trivial. Gongs, trophies, baubles: what can compare to the premiership? But there is one highly-desired honour which has managed to elude David Cameron – until now. For the Old Etonian this week joins an exclusive club in becoming the 22nd former Prime Minister whose words have now graced the pages of The Spectator. Cameron's diary about his Poland excursion places him in hallowed company among a select band of his successors. Some 40 per cent of the 55 men and women to have held the post have written for this magazine: quite an accomplishment given the modern edition did not begin until 1828, by which time Walpole, North et al had been and gone.

The political journey of Gary Neville continues to delight and astound. The former England right back now finds himself on the left wing, having signed up to Keir Starmer's Labour party in January. Amid speculation that the Red Devil is mulling a bid to be mayor of Greater Manchester, Neville used an interview with Sky last week to attack Boris Johnson's 'rancid' government. He fulminated that the Prime Minister had 'zero creditability in Europe and around the world' and needs to leave No. 10 'the second after' the war in Ukraine is over. Poor Gary could be waiting quite a while... As part of his political awakening, Neville has been unveiling his prospective manifesto on Twitter to his 5.1 million followers.

Happy spring statement day! The annual event seems to come faster every year, replete with all those funny old traditions associated with this hallowed day. There’s the time-honoured Chancellor photoshoot, in which the incumbent minister has to strike a pose which suggests both responsible fiscal probity and compassionate one-nation benevolence. There’s the Sunday media round ritual, in which stony-faced ministers refuse to say anything of interest on the grounds of market sensitivity. And then of course there are the classic pre-statement media briefings, with much froth, speculation and excitable newspaper headlines about what the Chancellor is set to announce.  This year, attention has focused on fuel duty amid the ongoing cost of living crisis.

It's five years today since the Westminster terror attack. Outside the gates of parliament stands the memorial to PC Keith Palmer, stabbed to death, defending the place where he worked. And the policemen and women at the Palace has clearly been working overtime to prevent a repeat attack from ever occurring again. For Mr S has obtained figures from the parliamentary security services which show that almost 2,000 items have been confiscated from going onto the estate since the beginning of 2019. The bulk of these are 1,874 so-called 'legal items' such as hundreds of pen-knives, padlocks and scissors. These items are returned to the owner upon their departure from the estate; those not collected are taken to lost property, with most likely to cause only limited damage.

Welcome home Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe, released after six years imprisonment. The 43-year-old returned to the UK last week after the government settled a historical £400 million debt owed to Iran over a cancelled 1970s order for British tanks.  But it seems the mother-of-one is not done generating headlines yet, after she caused something of a stir yesterday with her comments at a press conference in parliament about her return from Iran. 'How many foreign secretaries does it take for somebody to come home?' she said. 'What happened now should have happened six years ago.' The drama of Zaghari-Ratcliffe's appearance in the Macmillan room though was nothing compared to what was going on outside the room.

In recent weeks, partygate has felt all but a distant memory in Westminster. After Russia launched a full-scale invasion of Ukraine, Boris Johnson has focussed on recasting himself as a statesman focussed on the foreign affairs crisis.  Even as the Metropolitan police announce their investigation has reached the stage of ‘interviewing key witnesses’, Johnson’s supporters are keen to play down the whole affair in light of the international situation – with Jacob Rees-Mogg suggesting it is ‘trivial fluff’. Meanwhile, signs of the new regime are visible – with MPs at a recent drinks reception with the Prime Minister disappointed to be served soft drinks only.

Boris Johnson is doing rather well on Ukraine at the moment, thanks to Britain's role in sending arms and training instructors there. But now another military crisis from the not-so-recent past threatens to block the greased pig's escape from political danger yet again. For this afternoon the Foreign Affairs Committee (FAC) will be taking evidence on Operation Ark, the evacuation of Pen Farthing's sanctuary Nowzad from Afghanistan amid claims that the lives of animals were put before Afghans. The blame game about who was responsible for the sorry episode has raged since August.