Steerpike

Boris Johnson was always dubbed the 'Heineken Tory' – the man who could always reach parts of the country which other Conservatives couldn't. But now it seems that appeal hasn't extended as far as, er, his own backyard ahead of next month's local elections. For Hillingdon Tories appear to have removed any trace of the Uxbridge and South Ruislip MP from their election literature, following his recent woes over Partygate and the cost of living crisis. Local elections are of course a matter for local candidates but political parties haven't hesitated to put their leaders onto past leaflets when they think they're onto a winner.

Sir Keir Starmer is riding highs in the polls, topping Boris Johnson as the preferred PM of the people. Sober, studied and serious: after the ups and downs of the past six years, he's (apparently) looking like an increasingly attractive offering to a weary electorate. But Mr S is somewhat perturbed by the Labour leader's selective memory when it comes to trading on his legal career.  Starmer served as Director of Public Prosecutions (DPP) and head of the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) between 2008 and 2013, having previously spent two decades training as a barrister.

It never rains for No. 10 but it pours. After both Boris Johnson and Rishi Sunak were last week fined in recess for breaching lockdown laws, the Prime Minister returned to parliament today to atone for his sins. And it's not been a happy afternoon for Johnson as opposition leader after opposition leader denounced him in the strongest possible terms. Keir Starmer and Ed Davey both won plaudits for their interventions – even Ian Blackford was heard in near reverential silence. Johnson is expected to win the looming Commons vote on an investigation into Partygate but he might not be able to navigate other challenges to his position so easily.

The blessed Nicola has been out on the campaign trail in recent days, spreading the good news and decrying that wicked Boris Johnson's non-believing band of heretic Tories. The bad king's woes down in London have proved a godsend to Saint Nicola the nationalist, ever eager to lead her people to that land of milk and honey otherwise known as an independent Scotland. Naturally the sinless Sturgeon was among the first to call for Johnson to quit over partygate, preaching how 'basic decency' meant he should go for breaking lockdown rules. 'But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!' For just four days after demanding the heathen Johnson go, it seems the good queen Nic also defied the holy laws of Covid herself.

It is said in Westminster that Boris Johnson likes to surround his 5ft 6in Chancellor with tall ministers to make him feel small. And up at Holyrood, Nicola Sturgeon has clearly taken a leaf from the Prime Minister's book, judging by the ministers with whom she surrounds herself. After suffering a reversal at last year's elections, Sturgeon was forced to take the Scottish Greens into government: a marriage of political convenience but one that no doubt reaffirms Humza Yousaf's faith in his own intellectual prowess. For the Greens are led by a duumvirate of Lorna Slater and Patrick Harvie, a man diminutive both in size and in stature.

The Tory task at the next election is enormous. No party in the democratic age has ever won a fifth consecutive term in office and bruising battles over Brexit and Covid mean the Conservatives will have a tough ask next time out. Boris Johnson's team still have two years left in office but inside No. 10 minds are already turning to the looming clash with the Starmer army. On what fertile ground can the forthcoming general election be fought and won by the Tories? Unfortunately for the bright young things of CCHQ, it looks like Labour's traditional weak spot on 'law and order' has now been nullified. There were hopes that Sir Keir's record as a QC – defending all kinds of unseemly sorts – might make him susceptible to jibes of being soft on crime or terror.

It's been a pretty awful week for Rishi Sunak. In the space of seven days, his wife was revealed to be a non-domiciled resident, average wages fell by the highest sum since 2013, he admitted having a US Green Card until last year and UK GDP grew by just 0.1 per cent. Oh, and there was the small matter of the Metropolitan police fining him for a breach of lockdown laws. In Westminster, the impact of all that on his political capital is still sinking in. But in the country, it seems that the mind of the public is pretty clear: Rishi's star is on the wane.  For every voter who wants Sunak to stay as a Chancellor, two more want him to go.

This evening the Johnsons have apologised for the fines dished out by the Metropolitan police earlier today. First up was Carrie Johnson who it appears organised the infamous birthday party in June 2020 that led to her husband and next-door neighbour both being fined. Whoops! A spokesperson for the First Lady of Downing Street said that: 'Mrs Johnson has paid a Fixed Penalty Notice (FPN) relating to a gathering on the afternoon of 19 June 2020. Whilst she believed that she was acting in accordance with the rules at the time, Mrs Johnson accepts the Met Police’s findings and apologises unreservedly.' She has now paid her FPN fine. Then it was the turn of Boris who admitted he had been served with a FPN – believed to be a fine worth £50.

Crispin Blunt has had quite the 24 hours. The Tory MP yesterday made an extraordinary intervention in the case of Imran Ahmad Khan, the Wakefield backbencher found guilty of the sexual assault of a 15-year-old boy. Blunt decided to release a highly unusual and hyberbolic statement which lambasted the conviction as a 'dreadful miscarriage of justice' incited by 'lazy tropes about LGBT+ people' based in 'Victorian era prejudice.