Steerpike

You can tell the trouble that Sir Keir Starmer is in by the desperation of Sun hacks in finding fresh curry puns. Whether it's 'backed into a korma' or 'bhaji smugglers,' the Labour leader's ongoing troubles over 'Beergate' has caused a run on puns over at London Bridge. The latest twist in the ongoing saga is the news that Sir Keir is discussing his possible resignation with shadow cabinet colleagues if Durham Police decide to fine him over the April 2021 gathering in which he and party workers enjoyed curries and beers.  The investigation is expected to take between six to eight weeks, with the force establishing a special six-man source to probe whether the Labour leader and his deputy Angela Rayner did indeed break lockdown rules.

Uh oh, it looks like things are getting uncomfortable for Keir Starmer. This week the Labour leader was hoping to turn the national conversation towards the cost of living crisis and the poor Tory showing in the local elections. Instead the hapless opposition leader has become embroiled in a ‘beergate’ scandal of his own – after the Labour leader was pictured drinking beer at a campaign event in April 2021, when lockdown restrictions were in place. This week Durham police announced that it was opening an investigation into an alleged lockdown breach at the event – which Starmer has continued to insist was a work event and not a party. It looks like that story could be beginning to unravel though.

Poor Keir Starmer appears to have the reverse Midas touch. When he awoke this morning, Labour was making gains across the country – the capitalist citadels of London were falling, marginals like Southampton were going red and the seemingly inexorable advance of the Tories in the Red Wall had been halted. Yet as sure as night follows day, mere hours after Sir Keir's triumphalist victory photo call, Durham Police announced it would be conducting an investigation into 'Beergate' – dispatching the news like Zeus submitting thunderbolts down from on high.The news that Sir Keir is under investigation somewhat puts pause to Labour's current claims to being the morally virtuous party in British politics.

Sadiq Khan may have won his contest last year but he's not having such a good election this time around. The wokest mayor in all the West has not enjoyed the best week in the run-up to polling day. First, he was accused by Grant Shapps of breaking pre-election purdah rules after Transport for London yesterday announced the opening date for the Elizabeth Line. And today, Khan has reminded floating voters, uncertain of who to vote for in this year's London council elections, of his key priorities. The mayor used polling day to tell male voters to '#HaveAWord' and not laugh at 'sexist "banter",' demanding that Londoners interrogate their friends when offensive language is used by saying 'What makes you think that?

The Russian bear might be back but the Chinese dragon waits in the wings. Moscow's spectacularly mismanaged invasion of Ukraine might have diverted Western attention away from Beijing but the CCP clearly poses a much greater long-term threat to the West than Putin's kleptocratic regime. With that in mind, Mr S was intrigued to see the business minister Lord Callanan recently confirm that the People’s Republic of China is the registered owner of no less than 60 titles in the Greater London boundary.  Combined, they are likely worth a small fortune. Intrigued, Steerpike asked the punctilious pen-pushers over at the Land Registry for a list of all these properties.

Schadenfreude is a funny thing. Once it was Labour laughing at Boris Johnson dodging questions about food and drink: now it's their turn to face them too. Sir Keir Starmer had a somewhat excruciating appearance on this morning's Today programme when he was asked repeatedly about his attendance at a work event in April 2021, at which the Labour leader was photographed holding a beer. Four times the Labour leader was asked by Martha Kearney about whether Durham Police had been in touch with him about the gathering; four times he dodged the question. Starmer claimed that the picture was taken before 10 p.m and that thereafter he and other Labour campaigners resumed their campaigning efforts. What exactly were they doing that late – stuffing letters perhaps?

Milestones are always a time for reflection. So the 25th anniversary of New Labour's election triumph this weekend has prompted an outpouring of dewy-eyed reminiscences from commentators of a certain vintage about how great it all was.  Cool Britannia, the minimum wage, PFI deals and the Millennium Dome. Truly, a golden age: things really could only get better. To mark this auspicious occasion, a familiar face from those halcyon days has re-emerged to remind voters about the best that New Labour had to offer.  Alastair Campbell, the king of spin, has popped up with a new report by Labour in Communications urging Sir Keir Starmer to revamp his approach to PR ahead of the next election.

Privatisation isn't the only issue currently worrying Channel 4 bosses. The network's eponymous news programme has been facing questions for months about its alleged use of non-disclosure agreements (NDAs) amid mounting concern that they could be used to silence staff in equal pay, discrimination, harassment and victimisation cases. Campaigners, MPs and whistleblowers are among the dozens of high-profile women calling on C4 to release its 'traumatised' and 'gagged' former staff from such confidentiality agreements. Not the best look, perhaps, from a self-styled 'progressive employer'... Not all of Channel 4's staff though seem keen to publicly back the campaign to free the broadcaster's former staff from their NDAs.

Last night, Mr Steerpike was on his way back to Glasgow Central station from a game between Ayr United and Partick Thistle, sipping a hot water and lemon. He would have liked something stronger, only the Scottish government — which took control of Scotland’s railway services on April 1 — has extended the Covid-era ban on the consumption of booze on trains. Some rebellious passengers were flouting the government’s rules, however. Among them, Mr Steerpike observed, appeared to be Mhairi Black — the SNP MP for Paisley and Renfrewshire South (and subject of Tracey Ullman parody).