Steerpike

'Jaw jaw' remarked Churchill 'is always better than war war.' And some of London's finest jaws were being put to good use last night as the cream of the capital's consular circuit mingled, chatted and wolfed down canapés at the Diplomat magazine awards. From Namibia to Nicaragua they came, packed into Mayfair's glitzy Biltmore hotel in Grosvenor Square, ambassadors and High Commissioners aplenty.

Rayner-gate rumbles on into day three, with no sign yet that the press have bored of talking about themselves. The Deputy Labour leader was accused by an anonymous Tory MP in the Mail on Sunday of 'flashing' the Prime Minister at PMQs, prompting wall-to-wall criticism across every media outlet. Radio 4 led its 6 o'clock news programme with Speaker Hoyle's latest soundings: Angela Rayner herself starred on Lorraine today to talk about her upset at the coverage.   But now the Mail on Sunday has had the ultimate accolade afforded to it. For Diane Abbott, the former Labour shadow home secretary, has now issued one of her infamous tweets about the author of the MoS piece, political editor Glen Owen.

Westminster has been ablaze with indignation. What's the cause this time – another Downing Street lockdown party? No, on this occasion it's an article in yesterday's Mail on Sunday about Angela Rayner. The Deputy Labour leader was accused by an anonymous Tory MP of 'flashing' the Prime Minister at PMQs, in the manner of Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct. The article's publication prompted a storm of online criticism, with even the Prime Minister feeling it necessary to weigh in and offer Rayner his support. Conservative backbencher Caroline Nokes – the chair of the women and equalities select committee – meanwhile wrote to the Speaker of the House of Commons to ask whether the paper's political editor Glen Owen should retain his parliamentary lobby pass.

It's not just The Smiths who warned of panic on the streets of London. The capital's crime rate isn't doing terribly well these days with five stabbings, a shooting and an acid attack all in the past week. Indeed, 2021 was a record year for teenage homicides in the great metropolis. Even former boxing champion Amir Khan has now claimed the capital is 'a very dangerous place to visit' after being mugged of his £70,000 watch, telling Sadiq Khan to 'pull his finger out' over the issue. Fortunately, it seems that the city's beloved mayor has indeed finally listened.

The Express – home of the Crusader, William Hickey and Ann Widdecombe's columns. Lord Beaverbrook's baby has enjoyed its ups and downs over the decades but has its fans in Westminster, with Tory backbenchers organising a special virtual 'Blue Collar Conservatives' together back in 2020.  And while the daily newspaper has undergone something of a rebrand in recent years, under its 'Labour-supporting, Remain-voting ex-Sunday Mirror editor' Gary Jones, the Sunday equivalent has had a vacancy in the editors' chair since January, when Michael Booker defected to GB News. But three months on, the post has finally been filled.

Dogs bark, cows moo and the SNP duck their failings. It seems as though every day brings fresh revelations about Nicola Sturgeon's regime in Scotland as more and more questions are asked about her party's record in office. The only novelty is the sheer range of scandals which can outrage, shock and rile: last week it was the terf war and her plans to rig the electorate. Today it's ferries and the news that, once again, proper records were not kept of the Scottish Government's mismanaged takeover of the Ferguson shipyard. For Audit Scotland has now demanded a fresh review about how an initial £97 million deal for two vessels spiralled into a quarter of a billion pound disaster with two new lifeline vessels still out of service after six years.

Boris Johnson was always dubbed the 'Heineken Tory' – the man who could always reach parts of the country which other Conservatives couldn't. But now it seems that appeal hasn't extended as far as, er, his own backyard ahead of next month's local elections. For Hillingdon Tories appear to have removed any trace of the Uxbridge and South Ruislip MP from their election literature, following his recent woes over Partygate and the cost of living crisis. Local elections are of course a matter for local candidates but political parties haven't hesitated to put their leaders onto past leaflets when they think they're onto a winner.

It seems that the spirit of COP26 is still alive and well in Edinburgh. For the SNP's parliamentarians have begun recycling their speeches at Holyrood, regardless of the occasion. Amid claims that the Scottish nationalists are nothing but a bunch of unthinking, zombie–like drones, blindly following the latest directive from Bute House, backbencher Willie Coffey MSP has decided to, er, conform exactly to type.  For the Kilmarnock MSP caused laughter in the Scottish parliament yesterday by delivering a concluding speech when standing up to introduce a debate. Coffey opened his closing remarks by saying:  Thank you, Presiding Officer. I thought that I was closing the debate, so this is a closing speech, as I am sure members will soon hear...