Bernie

‘Spare a tenner for a cup of bubble tea?’

‘Honestly, he’s as gentle as a kitten!’

‘Dad, can I have a dangerous puppy?’

‘Mind if I vape?’

‘Do you remember your first unwanted kiss?’

‘My word! I thought the only one of these was in the British Museum!’

‘I’m six. I don’t need to know about eating disorders.’

‘Not only have you been stood up, Sir, but I’m afraid we don’t serve solo diners.’

‘The bank doesn’t understand me.’

‘We’ve closed your bank account… you have been charged £25 for this letter.’

‘The boy who self-identifies as a dog ate my homework, sir.’

‘Relax. Nowadays it’s all done by AI.’

‘It’s all right – this one takes cash.’