Bernie

‘I’ll just test your blood pressure.’

‘Your call for unity got a mixed response.’

‘Thank heaven life can at last return to normal.’

‘And order something you won’t enjoy. It’s still too soon.’

‘Don’t throw it away woman, there’s a water shortage!’

Hosepipe ban lifted

‘I bought baby her first booties!’

‘I’m terribly sorry, we’ve had to put a cap on numbers.’

‘Looks like Boris is flying again.’

‘Much longer in this go-slow protest and we’ll miss our cancelled flight.’

‘Next, an anonymous caller who asks: “Can I get monkeypox from groping two men?”’

‘A suitcase? Certainly, Sir. Is it for wine or cash?’

‘The cheaper and less qualified doctor will see you now.’