Bernie

‘Become a royal protection officer – it’s the country’s only growth industry.’

From our UK edition

‘Actually I don’t mind migrants – as long as those ghastly Sussexes don’t move in…’

From our UK edition

‘Should we be concerned about AI going rogue?’

From our UK edition

‘Andy wants to tour the country and meet some of his subjects’

From our UK edition

‘It’s taking you a long time to find us a fan, dear.’

From our UK edition

‘I want us to have a big family – four, five, or maybe even six whippets!’

From our UK edition

‘You wait ages for someone to throw under the bus and then three come along at once.’

From our UK edition

‘Did you go anywhere special this Easter?’

From our UK edition

Let me put it this way – if you have any Premium Bonds, draw them out now

From our UK edition

‘Take me to your Trump-appointed leader.’

From our UK edition

‘If you want your letter to arrive on time, you have to put it in a parcel.’

From our UK edition

‘Honestly, some of the nonsense they expect you to fall for!’

‘The Tory party was much better when I was your age.’

From our UK edition

Can we just forget all this

From our UK edition

First floor

From our UK edition

‘If it turns out you’ve been lying about Father Christmas, Mum, you’ll have to go.’

From our UK edition

A relationship with someone you don’t know

From our UK edition