Air Force One
‘I’ve said I don’t want Tony Blair at our Christmas drinks – but what if he turns up anyway?’
‘Before you decide, remember where all the toys and goodies come from’
‘A treble whisky please – I’m doing sober October.’
‘I think it’s time you accepted the world has gone mad.’
‘Could you turn this into bad news, please?’
‘This house depresses me. The damp spot’s got worse.’
‘They’ve mis-spelled Reform.’
‘How desperate are the Tories, on a scale of one to bringing back Boris Johnson?’
‘Is it too late for a letter of no confidence?’
‘There’s a new Taylor Swift album’
‘I’m defecting to Reform.’
‘Would you prefer to hear your operation’s been cancelled by email, post, SMS, phone, WhatsApp, Google Chat – or all of the above?’
‘I would aim one at the Tory conference but the chances of hitting anyone are remote.’
‘Thank God, that’s the Christmas shopping finished.’
‘This is no time for a leadership contest’