Steerpike is The Spectator's gossip columnist, serving up the latest tittle tattle from Westminster and beyond. Email tips to steerpike@spectator.co.uk or message @MrSteerpike
There is no love lost between UKIP defectors Douglas Carswell and Mark Reckless and their old Tory colleagues. Catty Conservative MPs have for some reason nicknamed the Ukip twosome 'Popeye and Olive Oyl'. Mr S will let you decide which is which.
William Hague told the Spectator's Parliamentarian of the Year awards last week that he was standing down from the Commons ‘to do some other things I’ve always wanted to do'. So far that seems to consist of expensive after dinner speeches. Accepting his lifetime achievement award at the Savoy, the one time Tory leader finally revealed the secret to how he used to get the better of Tony Blair every week at PMQs. Hague recalled how Tony had two big folders 'that went from Aardvark at top of the first folder, to Zoology at the bottom of the second, so he could find anything to show how terrible 18 years of Tory government were.' But Blair’s plan was flawed: 'Then we realised the one weakness of this all: it was in alphabetical order.
Earlier this year Zac Goldsmith complained that he had been given 'the worst office of any MP in Parliament' as punishment for his disparaging remarks about the coalition. Now word reaches Mr S that the accolade of worst office has been passed to Mark Reckless following his defection to Ukip in the Rochester by-election. Unfortunately for Reckless, as Ukip are still a minority in the House of Commons, it's the Conservatives who assign their offices. None were too happy when he defected to Ukip, and fittingly his new office reflects the ill-feeling. 'It's the size of a shoebox and the ceiling is so low Mark can't even stand up in it, that's how bad it is,' Steerpike's Commons spy says. 'It is by far the worst office he could have been given.
If ever there was a tell-tale sign of who won the Great War between the Speaker and the Clerk of the Commons, it was today's Spectator Parliamentarian of the Year awards. Sir Robert Rogers picked up the top prize, declaring: 'Common sense and good governance will prevail before very long'. Mr Speaker failed to show up. The guest of honour, Home Secretary Theresa May, delivered her own comedy turn making jokes about George Osborne's haircut. She had a point. Her barbed comment that her 'special advisers had told her' this would be a 'good idea' had a particular resonance given her starring role on the cover of this quarter's edition of Spectator Life; a profile that features her advisers heavily. Wasting no time, May attacked both of her obvious future rivals for the Tory crown.
The great, the good and not so good of the establishment turned up at the Savoy Hotel today for this year's Parliamentarian of the Year awards. The awards were presented by the Home Secretary Theresa May: [caption id="attachment_9386402" align="aligncenter" width="4413"] Sir Robert Rogers greets Home Secretary Theresa May. Photo: Alan Davidson.[/caption] [caption id="attachment_9386382" align="aligncenter" width="3064"] Former Foreign Secretary William Hague. Photo: Alan Davidson.[/caption] [caption id="attachment_9386372" align="aligncenter" width="3244"] Former First Minister Alex Salmond becomes emotional with St Georges flag. Photo: Alan Davidson.[/caption] [caption id="attachment_9386452" align="aligncenter" width="2820"] Minister of the year Steve Webb. Photo: Alan Davidson.
'Tis the season for forgiving, and Mr S is pleased to report that what Vanity Fair called ‘one of the juiciest rows in recent Fleet Street history’ appears finally to have been put to bed. After months of squabbling in the press, Alexander Chancellor and Richard Ingrams were seen chatting amiably at the launch of Teresa Waugh’s novel A Long Hot Unholy Summer. The row started after The Oldie magazine let go its founding editor Ingrams to make way for his old friend Alexander Chancellor. Ingrams was furious, and he let the gossip columns know it. ‘He’s a bloody fool for taking the job!’ he said. But bygones be bygones, and there’s nothing like a book launch for burying the hatchet.
What a busy week for Theresa May as she picked up a gong for Politician of the Year at the Political Studies Association awards at Church House last night. The BBC’s Nick Robinson was in full sycophant mode as he presented the Home Secretary's prize, laying it on thick for his academic hosts, thanking them for allowing the media ‘to make your wisdom, our wisdom’. He couldn't resist a crack at ‘Mother Theresa’ though, describing the voting process as a ‘non binding’ but ‘indicative vote’ much like the one on the European Arrest Warrant. No doubt Downing Street will enjoy Mrs May soaking up some more of the limelight.
'Apologies everyone and especially to our Leader' tweets Rachel Johnson after a very rude word appeared on her Twitter feed about the Prime Minister: Apparently the columnist and famous sibling was 'hacked'. Mr S knows how these things are: you go out of the room for five minutes and bam! your naughty sibling has seized your computer and written all sorts of cuss words under your name about some chap he doesn't like... https://twitter.com/RachelSJohnson/status/537283459895816192 https://twitter.
Since 2010, every government department has tried to highlight the profligate spending of their predecessors in the most imaginative ways possible. In return, Labour have been on the look out for the slightest whiff of waste upon which to jump in order to claim they have changed their ways. Parliamentary Questions are placed, diaries tipped off and John Prescott is still denying that the civil service credit card billing at his local Chinese was anything to do with him. This latest letter that I have been passed, however, takes the metaphorical biscuit. After a story appeared in the Sun on Sunday about glamorous Russian fans demanding photos of Eric Pickles, it seems his Labour shadow Hilary Benn saw a chance to make some mischief, by requesting a photo.
When food blogger and poverty campaigner Jack Monroe isn't appearing in Labour Party political broadcasts or writing for the Guardian, she's the face of Sainsbury's. Their website proudly boasts: 'Sainsbury’s is pleased to welcome food lover Jack Monroe, who will be showing us how to cook two delicious recipes with leftover chicken. Jack is a thrifty single mum who is known for creating delicious meals on a strict budget. She tests all her recipes out on her young son and shares them on her popular blog, agirlcalledjack.com.
The fallout from Emily Thornberry’s ‘snobbish’ photo of a flag-furnished house in Rochester looks like it still has plenty of gas. The house’s owner, Dan Ware, has travelled to Thornberry’s Islington house today in search of an apology. https://twitter.com/johnestevens/status/535779676632129538 Thornberry, who resigned from the shadow cabinet yesterday following a furious conversation with Ed Miliband, has said she is ‘more than happy’ to meet Mr Ware. Nonetheless, a quick glance at some of Thornberry’s ‘favourite’ tweets over the last 24 hours suggests she hasn’t exactly repented of her actions: https://twitter.com/EmilyThornberry https://twitter.com/EmilyThornberry https://twitter.
On zero sleep and only seven hours after being re-elected, Mark Reckless was back in the Commons and sitting on the opposition benches. Rushing back to take part in a Labour PR stunt/debate on the NHS in order to shore up a Ukip weakspot, Reckless wasted no time in getting sworn back in. The Tory benches were deserted for his return, but he was given a grudging welcome back by MPs of all colours. 'Listening to Reckless you would never think he had voted for the privatisation at the heart of the Health and Social Care Act 18 times', mused Labour's Bill Easterson. 'First speech by Mark Reckless for UKIP in Commons right now, urging support for a Labour bill. Immediate proof that vote UKIP, get Miliband,' seethed Tory Deputy Chief Whip.
'Any system for chatting up women is in itself questionable’ says Russell Brand today in response to the Julien Blanc scandal, that has seen the Home Office ban the controversial American 'pick-up artist' from touring in the UK. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCj5ONvDCz8 Brand continues: 'any (system) that’s sort of based on objectifying or undermining women I would never, never, never, never, never endorse.' Which is odd, because here is Russell Brand endorsing a book that is purely about how to pick up women: Neil Strauss’s writing turned me from a desperate wallflower into a wallflower who can talk women into sex.' Russell Brand Mr S can inform you that the content of The Game is not very progressive...
It seems the most exciting thing to come out of today's Commons press gallery lunch with Danny Alexander was the Chief Secretary to the Treasury's claim that George Osborne locks his fridge in the department. Mr Steerpike has never been afflicted by an attack of the munchies while lurking in that part of Whitehall but he had a quick word with a Treasury source, who informed him that the fridge in question is Danny's fridge too, sitting right opposite his office and that it's only locked at night (which makes Mr Steerpike wonder what Alexander was doing going through the Treasury larder at night when officials are so happy to deliver expensive burgers). Apparently it has always been locked at night, ever since the Coalition parties pitched up in the Treasury in May 2015.
At the height of the 2005 election, the then Tory leader Michael Howard (advised by one Lynton Crosby) declared: ‘Let's be clear. It's not racist to talk about immigration. It's not racist to criticise the system. It's not racist to want to limit the numbers. It's just plain common sense.’ Howard was lambasted by Labour for the speech, with cabinet ministers wheeled out to slam the Conservatives for ‘scurrilous, right-wing, ugly tactics’. Fast forward nine years and Yvette Cooper’s soundbite sounds a little familiar. In a speech today, Labour’s Shadow Home Secretary declared: ‘It isn't racist to be worried about immigration or to call for immigration reform.' Even one of the campaign's posters (above) used Cooper's line.
Having walked across Afghanistan, governed a province of Iraq and written award winning books about his adventures, now Rory Stewart has delivered his own son: 'Penrith and the Border MP Rory Stewart has announced the birth of his first son - which he ended up delivering himself on the bathroom floor. Alexander Wolf Stewart was born at 5.30am last Wednesday. A press statement said he arrived so quickly that Mr Stewart had to deliver him before a midwife could arrive. It added: 'The birth went very well and the baby and his mother, Shoshana, are very well. We are so so immensely happy and proud. It is such a happy day.' What does the ambitious Tory do for an encore?
After the disgraced PR guru Max Clifford was sentenced to eight years at Her Majesty’s pleasure for a series of indecent assaults, he was forced to close his management firm with hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of debts. Still, word reaches Mr S that Clifford's jail term hasn’t stopped him from trying to trade off his now toxic brand. Simon Cowell’s former right hand man has apparently been calling around management firms across London to try and win some freelance work. ‘No-one could quite believe it was really him on the phone,’ my mole says. ‘But he was genuine, he said that since he has had to close Max Clifford Associates he could do with the work.
‘This a long way from the pigsties in east Kent where I smoked my first cigar,’ said 92 year-old Baroness Trumpington as she collected her lifetime achievement award at the Spectator’s Cigar Smoker of the Year awards last night. At a packed Boisdale, the top prize was awarded to Arnold Schwarzenegger, with Frasier’s Kelsey Grammer runner up. ‘It’s like you meeting someone from Vogue,’ said one chap to his Russian wife explaining why he was so excited to meet a humidor expert. [caption id="attachment_8923152" align="alignleft" width="4962"] Arnold Schwarzenegger with partner Heather Milligan and Kelsey Grammar.
Of all the watering holes across the capital, Mr S knows full well that the Pig and Eye club is both the most elusive and exclusive. So Steerpike was curious to hear that the MI5 joint has apparently been forced to change its name in order to err on the right side of political correctness. Originally set up by spies during the Cold War in their then-headquarters on Curzon Street, the Pig and Eye was a place where secret agents could meet over a drink – or five – without risk of being overheard by the wrong people. Peter Wright wrote of frequenting it in his best-selling espionage book Spycatcher. The secret establishment is then said to have moved with the security service to Millbank when they relocated there in 1995.
Labour’s efforts to demonise the hostile anti-Ed media is working. At the Labour leader’s eighth ‘relaunch’ speech on Thursday at Senate House, every single question from journalists was greeted by boos, hisses and tuts. The Labour leader actually dealt with the smattering of questions about his latest leadership woes rather well, yet the crowd were having none of it. Party members even hissed the polite chap from the BBC, much to the acute embarrassment of Mr Miliband, who was forced to calm his crowd with a ‘come on now, it’s a fair question’. When another hack asked if Ed felt he had made any mistakes as leader, one passionate activist audibly spat out ‘yes, taking a question from you.
