Steerpike

Steerpike

Steerpike is The Spectator's gossip columnist, serving up the latest tittle tattle from Westminster and beyond. Email tips to steerpike@spectator.co.uk or message @MrSteerpike

Thursday

Steerpike

Coming soon: David Cameron’s obituary

Isabel Oakeshott has gone to such lengths to get close to David Cameron for the biography she is helping Lord Ashcroft write that she has even been pictured following him on his jogs. Now David Cameron’s nemesis Ashcroft has given an insight into what readers can expect from the tome. Speaking at the Political Book Awards, Ashcroft, who was a sponsor of the event, had a choice use of words to describe the biography of the Prime Minister. 'I hope that next year with Isabel Oakeshott that we may have one of the books up there for 'Political Book of the Year'. As most of you know we are writing the obit... Ah sorry David, the biography.' Mr S hears that the final chapter won't be written until the election result is known.

Steerpike

Chris Bryant breaks two ribs getting out of bed

It's been a tough few weeks for Chris Bryant since he claimed that 'we can’t just have a culture dominated by Eddie Redmayne and James Blunt and their ilk' in an interview with The Guardian. Privately educated Blunt didn't take kindly to the comments and responded by calling Bryant a 'classist gimp' in an open letter. If that wasn't reason enough to be gloomy, the new shadow culture minister confides to Steerpike that even laughter brings him misery nowadays. 'I broke two ribs this morning, so I'm in quite a lot of pain,' he tells Mr S at Paddy Power's Political Book Awards. 'Bizarrely, getting out of bed in the morning I slipped and I was in hospital and in an ambulance and all that.

Steerpike

Rory Bremner takes John Bercow to task over million pound gym revamp

John Bercow got more than he bargained for last night when he presented an award at Paddy Power's Political Book Awards. Appearing on stage alongside Rory Bremner to giveaway the gong for 'Polemic of the Year,' the Speaker of the House of Commons was grilled by the impressionist on the rising cost of the Westminster gym upgrade. Bremner said, 'Can I ask you, have you come from the new gym?' 'I have, I was there earlier, I didn't see you there,' Bercow replied, nervously. The 53-year-old Scotsman then asked Bercow if it was really true that a spinning room at the costly gym had been named in his honour. 'It's not called the spinning room, you must always be accurate.

Wednesday

Steerpike

When is a meatball not a meatball?

Q: When is a meatball not a meatball? A: When it's vegan. Nothing is sacred to the killjoys over at Peta, not even the honest Ikea meatball. Just about the only tolerable aspect of an afternoon spent at the Swedish furniture giant – the meatball –has come under attack from the left, with the introduction of a vegan version. Teaming up with the animal rights lobby, 'the company has announced that the tasty vegan treats will be available in its store restaurants beginning in April.' Mr Steerpike is not sure what these non-meat balls will be named, but given Ikea's form in the area, it will probably be a totally random Scandinavian Christian name.

Steerpike

Vote of no confidence for ‘offensive’ Ian Liddell-Grainger

Ian Liddell-Grainger has been branded unfit for purpose by local Tories. The Conservative MP is facing calls to be deselected as a Tory candidate for the general election, with Conservative councillors in West Somerset passing a vote of no confidence in him. The Tories on the council are cross because he’s allegedly made ‘gratuitously derogatory and offensive comments about West Somerset Council, its leaders and some of its councillors and officers’. The charge sheet includes other accusations of bullying and immoral and dishonourable behaviour. Liddell-Grainger is certainly an outspoken chap.

Steerpike

Robert Harris: BBC’s books coverage is a ‘disgrace’

Lord Hall will be glad that he didn't attend last night's Costa Book Awards. Robert Harris, who chaired this year's judges, took the opportunity to criticise the corporation's book coverage when announcing the winner. Harris says that it is 'an absolute disgrace' that there is 'no dedicated book programme' on television. The 57-year-old author urged Tony Hall to do more given that the BBC is a 'monetary funded organisation'. 'The Costa Prize attracts people into the trade and it has being doing that for 44 years ever since 1971 and one thing I would just like to say is that in the 1970s books had it a bit easier,' he told guests at the champagne bash at Quaglino's, Mayfair, which saw Helen Macdonald win the gong for H is for Hawk.

Steerpike

Have you heard the one about David Attenborough, a case of diarrhoea and a rat?

To London Zoo, where Mr S caught up with Sir David Attenborough at the launch of his new UKTV series Natural Curiosities. The 88-year-old broadcaster gave party goers pause for thought when he revealed what his least favourite animal was. 'Rats. I don’t want to put you off your meal but when I was in India, I was by and large not afflicted by tropical diseases, but I did get a bit of the you-know-what and I had to run to a loo. I sat on the loo and I did what I had to do and a rat came out from between my thighs. That is not endearing.' Happily, Attenborough said such vermin does not inhabit his home in Richmond upon Thames.

Tuesday

Steerpike

Mike Tindall: Why in any way am I lucky with my in-laws?

The Duke of York attended the World Economic Forum last week in what was his first public appearance since he was accused of abusing an under-age ‘sex slave’. While Prince Andrew chose to speak out in Davos to deny the allegations, members of his family appear to be lost for words. Mike Tindall, who is married to Prince Andrew's niece Zara Phillips, agreed to an interview with the Radio Times on the condition that 'any questions about the royal family, including Prince Andrew, will lead to it being called to an abrupt halt'. When the writer did venture a question as to how his wife is holding up, he was met with a terse reply. ‘Let’s not go there, I don’t want to talk about it.

Steerpike

Cameron reckons Gove prefers a ‘chillax playlist’ to ‘hip-hoppy’ Beyoncé tunes

After Sarah Vine revealed that her husband Michael Gove's ringtone that infamously disrupted a cabinet meeting was the latest Beyoncé hit, David Cameron has thrown doubt on this version of events. Speaking to LBC this morning, the PM was tackling the big issues. When host Nick Ferrari played a series of Beyoncé tunes, Call Me Dave seemed confused: 'I don’t think it was any, my memory is it sounded like something from the sort of chillax playlist on Spotify. It wasn’t... that’s all a bit more you know sort of hip-hoppy and I don’t think it was that. But I mean it didn’t last very long. So we weren’t playing beat the intro. We were trying to have a cabinet meeting let’s be clear.' The mystery continues...

Steerpike

Another day, another Tory Ukip defection

Sloppy seconds are on the menu for both Ukip and the Conservative party this week. Many questions remain for the Tories after Ukip MEP Amjad Bashir defected to them following a Ukip party investigation. Now, Nigel Farage has claimed another Conservative for his side. Paul Bellis, a Tory councillor from Stockport, has left the Conservatives and joined Ukip. Bellis, who has served Bramhall South and Woodford for over two decades, made the decision to join Farage's party after he was deselected by the Conservatives. Not that this information has dampened Ukip members' spirits. Conservative to UKIP defection. Conservative Cllr Paul Bellis, on Stockport Council, joins UKIP.

Steerpike

A medieval war of words: Salman Rushdie vs Times Literary Supplement

Pencils are being sharpened on both sides of the Atlantic as a tiff between the Times Literary Supplement and Salman Rushdie reaches full swing. The author of The Satanic Verses has threatened to 'get medieval' with the literary magazine after it ran an article criticising his response to the Charlie Hebdo attacks. Following the attacks in Paris, the New York based author released a statement. 'Religion, a mediaeval form of unreason, when combined with modern weaponry becomes a real threat to our freedoms,' he wrote. 'This religious totalitarianism has caused a deadly mutation in the heart of Islam and we see the tragic consequences in Paris today.

Monday

Steerpike

Ladbrokes’ election guru should stick to politics (and avoid football)

Politics nerds are obsessing over every single nugget of information about the election. Ladbrokes seems to be offering a rich bounty, set by Matthew Shaddick, the company's in-house 'Head of Political Betting'. But can his advice really be trusted? In a recent message accompanying their latest batch of odds, Shaddick was quoted as saying: 'If Cambridge can come from 2-0 down to beat Chelsea, I suppose anything is possible, although The Pub Landlord becoming an MP at 100/1 is surely going a bit too far.' Only problem is Cambridge didn't beat Chelsea this weekend, Bradford City did (the final score was an astonishing 4-2 to Bradford). Cambridge drew 0-0 with Man U. Place ya bets - with peril!

Steerpike

How will the Guardian and the BBC cover the Trinity Mirror phone hacking?

Trinity Mirror have admitted that they published 71 stories which were enabled by phone-hacking. Now eight cases are due to come before Mr Justice Mann at the beginning of March, with a two-week trial scheduled. Those they concern include Alan Yentob, Sadie Frost and Paul Gascoigne. Steerpike is curious to see what coverage the trial will get in the papers and from the BBC. Both the corporation and the Guardian have taken glee in the past at resting the phone hacking crimes firmly in Rupert Murdoch's court. Giving the impression, of course, that the sin of hacking came straight from the blackness of Murdoch's heart - rather than a sin that was spread right across an industry.

Steerpike

Ed Sheeran unimpressed by Boris Johnson comparison

While Boris Johnson may be pleased to learn that Ed Sheeran has been mistaken for him, the 23-year-old singer was dismayed when a member of the public mistook him for the 50-year-old Mayor of London. Someone just mistook me for Boris Johnson and I wish I was joking — Ed Sheeran (@edsheeran) January 26, 2015 Sheeran hasn't always been so unhappy to be associated with a Conservative politician. He previously dedicated a song to the Prime Minister. 'I was playing this gig at some guy’s house and it was a very, very intimate environment, and they stopped the gig and I only had one song left,' Sheeran recalled. 'He was like ‘I’m so happy that you came here Ed. Obviously David Cameron is here, would you dedicate a song to him?

Steerpike

Should the Guardian apologise to David Cameron over orgasm blunder?

Readers of the Guardian had cause to splutter into their tea this morning after one bright spark seemingly put the wrong photo on an article advising a reader who has difficulty reaching climax during sexual intercourse. Some mistake surely by the @guardian website's picture editor pic.twitter.com/HLufxoiuoW — Paul Callaghan (@PMCallaghan) January 26, 2015 Although the reader's name was not listed, it is thought that it was not David Cameron writing in with his problem. Mr S imagines he would go straight to The Spectator's own Dear Mary should any issues arise. The photo on the article has now been changed to a more generic snap. It would certainly make an interesting read in their corrections column.

Steerpike

Dave’s chillaxed approach to keeping fit

First it was George Osborne on the 5:2 diet, then the Prime Minister revealed he had 'given up bread' in an attempt to shed some pre-election pounds. Today, Cameron has revealed further details of this vigorous health kick. Speaking in Hampshire, he claimed he rambles through the Oxfordshire countryside with his daughter Florence upon his shoulders 'to add to the exercise regime I am undertaking'. You be careful there, Prime Minister. Don't exert yourself too much.

Steerpike

Revealed: Nigel Farage once voted for the Green Party

Nigel Farage's secret is out. In an interview with the Mail on Sunday, the leader of Ukip let slip that he once voted for the Green Party. 'I voted Green in 1989 in the European elections,' Farage admits. While he fails to give any further explanation of why he supported a party that appears to be at loggerheads with his own views, Farage does go on to reveal the most insulting names he has been called. 'I was called a football hooligan once in public and I didn’t like that. I am many things but a hooligan I am not. I have been called everything this year, absolutely everything, racist, xenophobe – there’s a list as long as your arm,' he says.

Friday

Steerpike

Who warrants a flag at half-mast? King Abdullah or Leon Brittan

The Palace of Westminster’s flag is currently at half-mast, as is the flag on top of Buckingham Palace, Westminster Abbey and the Treasury. But who could it all be for? Treasury flying flag at half mast for King Abdullah, as are flags across Government estate. Controversial pic.twitter.com/zSR6OPWCD1 — Jason Groves (@JasonGroves1) January 23, 2015 Could it be for King Abdullah, the Saudi Arabian monarch, who died yesterday? Under his reign, the country has seen a higher number of beheadings than those carried out by Isis. Or could it perhaps be for Leon Brittan, the former home secretary, who also died yesterday?

Steerpike

Louise Mensch blasts David Cameron for King Abdullah tribute

Although Louise Mensch was once heralded as a 'Cameron Cutie,' the former Conservative MP's relationship with the Prime Minister has soured after he paid tribute to the late King Abdullah. The Saudi Arabia monarch's death was announced yesterday, with the cause of death thought to be a lung infection. Speaking following the news, Cameron gushed that he would be remembered for his 'commitment to peace and for strengthening understanding between faiths'. However, the fact that his reign in Saudi Arabia has seen a higher number of beheadings than those carried out by Isis appears to have not escaped Mensch's attention.

Thursday

Steerpike

The Economist beats the Guardian to appoint its first female editor

With the Guardian still to name their new editor-in-chief, the Economist has thrown down the gauntlet by appointing their first female editor. Zanny Minton Beddoes will succeed John Micklethwait to be the magazine's next editor, making her the first female editor in its 172 year history. Formerly the publication's business affairs editor, Minton Beddoes interviewed for the post last Thursday, beating off competition from Tom Standage, the magazine's digital editor, and the foreign editor Ed Carr. It's thought that her wealth of knowledge about the US from her time working in Washington made her the favourite for the coveted role.