Steerpike

Anyone who's ever sat through a statement given by Philip Hammond, knows that he's not quite what you'd call a gifted orator. With his cringeworthy gags, stilted delivery and all the charisma of Milne's Eeyore, the Chancellor's budget announcements tend to resemble bad eulogies rather than the unveiling of exciting new policies. But even he might have been surprised this afternoon by how few Tory MPs were willing to stick around to listen to his full spring statement in the House of Commons. Although Hammond managed to draw a big crowd when his statement began, soon his colleagues began to trickle away.

When seven Labour MPs formally announced that they were leaving the party to form the Independent Group on 18 February, it didn't take long for deputy Labour leader Tom Watson to release a video about their departure. In his statement, Watson lamented that his colleagues had decided to leave and suggested that there should be a reshuffle of Labour's front bench, to accommodate the 'Social democratic and democratic socialist traditions' of the party. Three weeks later, on the 9 March, Watson changed tack and announced that instead he would form a new party for social democrat MPs within Labour, called 'Future Britain Group', which had its first meeting today.

What does the Independent Group actually stand for? We know what they are against: Brexit and anti-Semitism. But so far the fledgling group has been somewhat shy about coming up with policies. With TIG MPs this week reportedly entering talks with the Electoral Commission about become a political party, they had better get a move on. Only Mr S. suspects the task won't be an easy one, given that one of their members – former Tory MP Anna Soubry – seems to take a difference stance to the bulk of their colleagues on most issues. To help out, Steerpike has compiled a list of where Anna Soubry stands compared to her new colleagues: Brexit: It's safe to say that when it comes to Brexit, TIG and Soubry are a match made in Parliamentary heaven.

At her speech in Grimsby this afternoon Theresa May made an attempt to get her colleagues in parliament to coalesce around her Brexit deal, by warning them about the dangers of Brexit being cancelled. It seems though that she may have alienated at least some of the audience today, when she took questions from the press on International Women's Day. As May left the podium after taking all her questions, ITV's Libby Wiener chimed in with another: why had May only taken one question from a female journalist? May appeared not to have heard as she left the stage, but just before she exited the room, turned round and quipped back: 'You've had all your questions answered by a female prime minister.' https://twitter.com/CBrockelbank/status/1104007936928612352 Fair enough.

With Theresa May's departure expected later this year, a host of ambitious males are keen to parade their wares. Frontrunner Boris Johnson has lost weight and is the RSPCA’s new pin-up boy, while Sajid Javid is trying to show his strength through the medium of ostracising Isis brides. On Wednesday night, it was David Davis's turn to make his mark.  The former Brexit secretary appeared in noticeably slender form for an event at the Adam Smith Institute where he began proceedings by introducing himself as a 'romantic radical'. Looking back on his university years at Warwick, Davis appeared to imply that he had an appeal to the Left as well as traditional Tory voters.

A few weeks ago, it was reported that Sajid Javid likes to refer to himself as ‘The Saj'. While the Home Secretary has repeatedly denied the claims, the tendency to refer to one in the third person appears to be catching. The Times reports that Liz Truss has been known to go by 'The Truss' (though ‘The Chief’ has also been used). Now it seems the latest ambitious Member of Parliament with a penchant for the third person is Chuka Umunna. Except he’s a been bit more obvious. The TIG MP's website now includes the subtitle - ‘The Alternative’. It seems picture location faux paxs are in the Westmisnter water… Mr S reckons 'The Chuka' has a better chance of catching on...

Chris Grayling has managed to take the government's 'Global Britain' agenda up a gear this week with an appearance in the New York Times. The under fire Transport Secretary is the subject of a blistering editorial in the American paper (which has developed a penchant for negative UK stories these days) titled 'How Does He Survive? The Curious Case of ‘Failing Grayling’. The paper claims Grayling has 'bumbled his way from one government post to another' starring 'in a black comedy sideshow of his own'. Yet it's fair to say that in one respect the paper has gone easy on him. In the print article, it cites that the Labour party has calculated that Chris Grayling's misadventures have cost British taxpayers £2.7 million. However, it's actually £2.