Steerpike

Steerpike

Steerpike is The Spectator's gossip columnist, serving up the latest tittle tattle from Westminster and beyond. Email tips to steerpike@spectator.co.uk or message @MrSteerpike

Four of Jamie Oliver’s worst moments

The policemen who guard the Downing Street guards are used to rag-tag protesters rocking up and chanting in their faces. But Friday afternoon brought with it a more well-heeled crowd than usual, as a myriad collection of 200 kids and campaigners rocked up in Whitehall to protest the government's U-turn on the obesity strategy.  And at the centre of this bourgeois brouhaha was of course, the familiar face of Jamie Oliver, holding aloft an 'Eton mess' in true twee fashion. Oliver was incandescent at Johnson's decision, as he told the crowd beneath his own Union Jack umbrella, leading them in a chant of 'Eton!' to which they replied 'mess!' Subtlety never was his strong suit...

Remainers in meltdown over Union Jacks

The Jubilee weekend looms next month. For some, it's a chance to toast the monarchy; for others, simply an extra day off work. And for a small minority of Twitter-crazed loons, it's yet more proof that the UK is goose-stepping down the path of fascism. For the unfurling of Union Jacks on London's Regent Street, ahead of next month's celebration, is proof to some of Boris's more hard-of-thinking critics that a totalitarian regime is in the offing. After images of the UK's national flag were posted online this morning, a hardcore band of diehard Remainiacs went into something of a meltdown, furiously tweeting their rage to such an extent that the phrase 'Nazi Germany' was the second most 'trending' topic on Twitter this morning.

Jeremy Hunt’s lockdown yarns

Jeremy Hunt is currently enjoying something of a renaissance  – all the more interesting in light of Boris Johnson's ongoing difficulties. The former Health Secretary has been touring the TV studios recently, promoting his new book Zero: Eliminating Preventable Harm and Tragedy in the NHS. It aims to 'reduce the number of avoidable deaths to zero and in the process save money, reduce backlogs and improve working conditions.' An ambitious goal, to say the least. Allies of Hunt though have been keen to stress that such activities are absolutely, positively, NOT part of any leadership manoeuverings – even if he doesn't rule out another bid in future. Hmm.

Ben Wallace lashes out at the Mirror

It looks like Ben Wallace had sugar on his cornflakes today. The Defence Secretary has gone 'full tonto' this morning at the Sunday Mirror over a story in today's newspaper about the amount of cash his department is spending to send the kids of top army officers to leading public schools. The paper says that last year some £1.5 million was handed over by the Ministry of Defence to schools like Eton, Harrow and Ampleforth, as part of the long-standing Continuity of Education Allowance. This covers 10 per cent of boarding school fees for forces parents so spouses can accompany them on overseas postings.

Jacob Rees-Mogg’s efficiency crusade

Ah, Jacob Rees-Mogg. The Old Etonian sometimes appears to have been designed by top lab scientists at CCHQ to perfectly antagonise the Sir Humphreys of SW1. Since his appointment as the Minister for Government Efficiency in February, every announcement by the Somerset MP seems calculated to enrage the civil service trade unions, keen to retain Covid-era hybrid working practices. For the Moggstar has been on a one-man war around Whitehall, rampaging around the Cabinet Office, decrying those mandarins who stubbornly refuse to abandon working from home. As part of this crusade to get back to the offices, Rees-Mogg last month toured his department and left calling cards on the empty desks of absent civil servants.

Commons counts the cost of Queen’s Speech

There was much joy in Parliament earlier this month at the first in-person State Opening of Parliament since 2019. But the return of pomp and circumstance to the Palace of Westminster wasn't universally applauded. Some doomsters took to Twitter to bemoan the sight of Prince Charles sat besides the Imperial State Crown while reading the Queen's Speech about the cost of living. And it seems such critics are found in the Commons too, for Plaid MP Hywell Williams has paid down a parliamentary question asking about the cost of all the pageantry to the taxpayer. According to Sir Charles Walker – the chairman of the House of Commons Commission – a record £228,978 was spent by parliament on last year's Queen's Speech.

Tim Farron’s fake Twitter army

Twitter may not be the real world, but it sure does set the conversation in Westminster. Commentators once spoke of 'the ground war' of activists on the ground and the 'air war' of broadcast interviews, but increasingly social media is where battles are fought and won. This week an audit in the States found that nearly half of Joe Biden’s 22.2 million Twitter followers are bogus, according to a study by software firm SparkToro which reported that 49.3 per cent of the president’s followers are 'fake followers'. SparkToro has defined 'fake followers' as 'accounts that are unreachable and will not see the account’s tweets (either because they’re spam, bots, propaganda, etc. or because they’re no longer active on Twitter).

Partygate fines: The five stages of grief

So, the verdict is in: Boris only broke the law once during lockdown. Like it or not, today’s findings by the Metropolitan police will no doubt be received with delight by those in No. 10, relieved that the PM looks to have got away with it once again. Even if there are nerves over the imminent publication of Sue Gray's report.  As with any victory in life, there are undoubtedly winners and losers. Having applauded the force for beginning their investigation in January, there are figures in Westminster who may take a different view of the findings of the Met – with any warm sentiments for London’s finest have suddenly evaporated.

Revealed: partygate probe cost £460,000

At long last the Metropolitan Police has concluded its four month long investigation into the Downing Street lockdown-breaking parties. A team of 12 detectives working on Operation Hillman sorted through 345 documents including emails, door logs, diary entries and witness statements, 510 photographs and CCTV images and 204 questionnaires. And the results of this are now clear to see, with 126 fixed penalty notices (FPNs) being issued for eight events – nearly 1 per cent of the total Covid FPNs handed out by the Met during the pandemic.

TfL’s £39,000 ‘intrusive staring’ campaign

Making his way home from Westminster the other night, Mr S was intrigued to see a new series of eye-catching posters on the Tube. ‘Staring', it screamed 'Intrusive staring is a form of sexual harassment and will not be tolerated.’ It's part of an ongoing campaign by Sadiq Khan's Transport for London (TfL) to get commuters to behave better: hardly surprising given that more than 19,000 crimes were recorded on the capital's public transport last year. Given TfL is effectively broke post-pandemic, Steerpike wondered just what this all cost.

David Cameron bags a new job

Poor David Cameron has had a tough few years since leaving No. 10. Few of his post-premiership ventures seem to be doing well. First there was the collapse of Greensill capital; then his enforced resignation from Afiniti after the firm's founder was accused of sexual assault. There's also the flatlining performance of his flagship legacy project, the National Citizen Service, and the underwhelming sales of his memoirs. So Mr S was intrigued to see that 'David Cameron' trending on Twitter in Scotland's third biggest city. Clicking through, a headline in Aberdonian organ Press and Journal flashed up: 'Local ‘champion’ David Cameron named new Lord Provost of Aberdeen.' Was the granite city the scene of an unlikely political comeback?

Lee Cain gets his Brexit readies

The recent turmoil in the Tory party has only been surpassed by that in Boris Johnson's No. 10. Various faces have come and gone during the Doctor Who style-regenerations these past three years, from Eddie Lister and Dominic Cummings to Dan Rosenfield and Allegra Stratton. One of Johnson's four director of communications who fell by the wayside was Lee Cain. His role as head of broadcast for Vote Leave in the Brexit referendum secured him a series of special advisor roles, culminating in the top media role in Downing Street. Since quitting his post at the end of 2020, Cain has returned to the world of the private sector. Political fall-outs don't always end well for those involved but the top spinner seems to be doing rather well.

Wanted: Ofgem head of price cap policy

Where would we be without Ofgem, eh? Amid soaring energy prices and a cost-of-living crisis, the energy regulator this week unveiled its latest wheeze to help struggling households: updating the energy price cap every three months, rather than six, to try to avoid price shocks.  The cap – which is the maximum price per unit that suppliers can charge customers – is currently updated twice a year in April and October. Ofgem's announcement came after a typical energy bill jumped last month from £1,277 to £1,971 and is forecast to soar a further 32 per cent when the cap is revised again in October. And, for those on prepayment meters, the price of energy has now risen by an average £708 to £2,017 a year. Gulp!

Lisa Forbes eyes a comeback

To Peterborough, ahead of the local Labour party's annual meeting there tonight. One of the topics of conversation will likely be who to select as Peterborough's candidate for the next general election. After all, the seat is a marginal one, with a majority of just 2,580. Four different MPs have served as the borough's representative in parliament over the past five years, including the incumbent Tory Paul Bristow. And it could be the woman who Bristow defeated at the last election – Lisa Forbes – who again stands at the next election, according to several Labour sources in Peterborough who claim that the ex-MP has her eye on a surprise comeback there.

Britain’s invisible Information Commissioner

Much like the Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster, the post of Information Commissioner is one of those intriguingly named but largely under-explored positions in British public life. Created in 1984, the post brings with it a tidy £200,000 a year salary and an office comprised of more than 500 staff. Its job is to 'uphold information rights in the public interest, promoting openness by public bodies and data privacy for individuals.' You might therefore think that the Information Commissioner's Office (ICO) would be interested in freedom of information given that the existing legislation – which came into force in 2005 – is being undermined by secrecy-loving Whitehall departments. Not a bit of it.

Sturgeon spins on American jamboree

Crisis, what crisis? Beset by domestic problems of their own making, the SNP government at Holyrood now has to face a difficult international climate too, amid rising tensions abroad and economic troubles around the globe. So, what better time for the country's embattled First Minister to duck questions on ferries and sleaze by jetting off to Washington to rub shoulders with some of America's more pliable politicians. Unfortunately it seems that a change of scenery still hasn't cured Nicola Sturgeon's habit of tampering with the truth.

Foreign Office gets a Bridgerton bonus

Liz Truss loves a good party so it's perhaps no surprise to read that she supports buying a swanky New York townhouse for British diplomats to entertain VIPs. But the nineteenth century mansion is expected to come at a price – £20 million – at a time when the Foreign Office is desperately looking for ways to cut costs, amid talk of a 20 per cent staff reduction. Luckily, Britain's hard-pressed mandarins are never short of an idea or two to raise a few bob.  One such wheeze is hiring out some of the department's buildings to TV crews to raise thousands in extra funds.

Drunken security rows prompt Commons clampdown

It's not been a great few months for standards in Westminster. In February, Neil Coyle MP lost the Labour whip after several drunken rants in the House of Commons Strangers' bar. Then the following month, Mr S was the first to bring news that parliamentary staff were being told to stop sleeping overnight in the House of Commons, after getting too inebriated and missing the last train home.  Since then a lobby journalist had their security pass removed for 'raucous behaviour' while figures show that five 'inebriated' staff managed to cause nine security incidents in a single month.  Concerns have been raised about MPs' staff and other passholders letting in guests onto the estate without undergoing proper airport-style security checks first.

Stop calling Putin! Macron appears to be scolded by the Estonian PM

For a man who likes to present himself as a Jupiter-like statesman, gliding across the world stage, Emmanuel Macron’s efforts at diplomacy have fallen remarkably flat in recent months. While Britain spent the weeks before the Russian invasion of Ukraine shifting weapons to Kyiv – to demonstrable effect now – Macron instead responded to the troop build-up by going on a doomed diplomatic mission to Moscow. Unsurprisingly, his face to face with Putin, across an absurdly long table in the Kremlin, did not work out. Undeterred, Macron has spent the weeks following the invasion keeping up a close relationship with Putin, and has spoken a number of times to the bloated authoritarian on the phone.

Wakefield Labour rocked by ‘stitch up’ claims

It seems that Labour's bid to recapture Wakefield isn't off to the best of starts. The resignation of Tory MP Imran Ahmad-Khan last month over historic sex offences gave Sir Keir Starmer's party a chance to take back the seat it lost in 2019 and prove that Labour is on track to make gains in the Red Wall at the next election.  Unfortunately, a row has now broken out over attempts to 'parachute' favoured candidates into the constituency. The entire executive of the local Wakefield branch has this week resigned after party HQ shortlisted two members in its process to pick Labour's candidate in the forthcoming by-election. Quite something, given that Sir Keir ran on a pledge in 2020 to 'end' central imposition of candidates if he was elected leader.