Steerpike

It's another good day not to be in Downing Street. Spinners there will be bracing themselves for questions today about the curious case of a story about Carrie Johnson which featured in Saturday’s edition of the Times. The report – by veteran scoop-getter Simon Walters – claimed that Boris Johnson tried to make his then-mistress his £100,000-a-year chief of staff at the Foreign Office in 2018. It featured on page five of the paper’s first edition but was pulled from subsequent ones; the story was also published on Mail Online but removed shortly afterwards. It’s not the first time No.

To Doncaster, home of the horses and the Northern Research Group conference. But there was only one race on the lips of attendees at the Doncaster track today: the leadership race. To the disappointment of the assembled Tory MPs, Boris Johnson pulled out of a scheduled afternoon appearance to visit Kyiv. He was meant to be the star turn at the conference as part of a bid to win back wavering MPs since last week's confidence vote. One disgruntled backbencher told Mr S: 'I'm quite pissed off to be honest. Him coming was the whole point.' Members of the NRG had planned to present the PM with a list of demands to maintain the Tory grip on the Red Wall at the next election. Instead, Michael Gove appeared on Zoom.

Boris Johnson has never been one of nature’s diplomats. Unconventional, irreverent, Brexit-backing and norm-defying, the blonde bombshell’s two-year tenure at the Foreign Office is now remembered as one of the less happy periods of his political life. Still, even cynical veterans of the ambassadorial circuit were left unimpressed with the Prime Minister’s performance at the Trooping the Colour ceremony a fortnight ago. This occasion is treated by overseas plenipotentiaries as the closest thing that the UK has to a national day: the equivalent of Bastille Day in France or the Fourth of July in America – especially so in a Platinum Jubilee year. So the various high commissioners and ambassadors were somewhat disappointed at their treatment on the day itself.

First it was drugs, then it was the press. Now Lindsay Hoyle and the grandees on the House of Commons Commission have turned their guns on the demon drink in a bid to restore parliament's reputation. They are seeking to end the age-old tradition of 'Thirsty Thursdays' in the Palace of Westminster, whereby staff enjoy the freedom of the place while their bosses return to their constituencies for weekend meetings with voters. For now changes have been announced today to restrict the access to Strangers' Bar by the Thames: the favoured watering hole of thirsty MPs who fancy a quick snifter between votes. From tomorrow, the bar will close at 8 p.m on a Thursday before a non-sitting Friday; on the day before a sitting Friday it will now shut at 10 p.m.

There's a spectre haunting Westminster: the spectre of Steve Bray. Steerpike envies those readers unfamiliar with the loud-mouthed protester, who has spent much of the past four years making life miserable for those who work in the House of Commons. Bray, known to many as 'Stop Brexit' man, spends a lot of his time disrupting interviews, shouting at parliament and heckling MPs and their staff. He and his supporters sometimes film the reactions of Tories they berate for social media, with past victims including backbenchers Lee Anderson and Paul Bristow. At least one parliamentary assistant has publicly confronted him in the street. Now though, it seems that Commons bosses have finally had enough.

Like many Londoners, Mr S was baffled to see our beloved mayor cavorting around America last month. As crime in the capital continued to soar, Sadiq Khan found time for a four-day jaunt across the States, in which time London suffered a murder and an eight-man mass brawl at Selfridges. The highlight of Khan's trip appeared to be the right-on Labour man announcing a plan to move towards decriminalising cannabis, even though he, er, has no power to do so. So how much did this joint venture cost the taxpayer? Well, Steerpike's Freedom of Information request has finally got a reply and it turns out that more than £34,000 was spent on the nine-man delegation.

Just what is it with New Yorkers and London? Normally Steerpike's ire for the Big Apple is reserved for the city's 'flagship' newspaper, the New York Times, whose view of Merrie England post-Brexit resembles something of a North Korean-style dystopia, without the hope. But now another leading liberal outlet has done a disservice for 'the city that never sleeps' with its reporting of a landmark UK event. Step forward the New Yorker magazine, which yesterday printed a bizarre take on the celebrations of the past week titled 'Racism outshines Platinum Jubilee'.