Steerpike

Oh dear. It seems that another hard-of-thinking Corbynista has shown themselves up again. Labour has been enjoying the chance to make political capital out of Suella Braverman's current woes, with the Home Secretary on the ropes amid an avalanche of questions about her judgement and competence. But never doubt the ability of Sir Keir's barmy backbench band to pull defeat from the jaws of victory. Cometh the hour and cometh the woman, with Diane Abbott – a socialist who could have been designed in a CCHQ laboratory – riding to the rescue to lower the tone, once again. Having failed in the 2017 election, failed in the 2019 election and most recently failed in her 'Zero Covid' crusade, the Hackney MP now seems to spend most of her time with her foot in her mouth.

Tory MPs often like to talk a tough game on China – but is it Labour who are now making the running? While the Conservatives are often at pains to wrap themselves in the flag and bang the drum for King and country, Mr S can't help but notice in recent weeks how frequently members of the Labour party like Lisa Nandy and Stephen Kinnock are to be found urging a firmer line on Beijing. First, there was the appalling attack on the Hong Kong democracy demonstration in Manchester outside the Chinese consul, in which suspected Chinese consular officials destroyed posters and assaulted a protester. The government response was assailed by a range of cross-party voices with both Sir Iain Duncan Smith and Alicia Kearns of the Tories demanding a tougher line.

Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. So what are we to glean from Matt Hancock’s latest comeback initiative under a third successive Tory premier? According to The Sun, the Casanova of the Commons has signed up to appear on the upcoming series of I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. What an irony in a man whose career was brought down by intrusive cameras turning to that same medium for rehabilitation.  Such a move is, of course, just the latest initiative for Hancock: a man with no beginning to his political talents. There’s also his bid to become the new Treasury select committee chair and his forthcoming pandemic diaries about his Covid misadventures – a Richard Curtis project if ever there was one.

It's not just Suella Braverman and Dominic Raab who have got their old jobs back. Following the Truss interregnum, normal service has been restored in Whitehall, with Michael Gove being handed another post in his fourth Conservative administration. The erudite Aberdonian has returned to the Department of Levelling Up – the ministry he left just last month – as its Secretary of State once more, beginning his speech to officials this afternoon 'As I was saying before I was interrupted...' Gove's appointment has cheered many of the department's long-suffering staff, relieved, at last, to have a minister skilled in the art of Whitehall warfare.

The revolving door in No/ 10 seems to turn even faster these days, given the news that Downing Street will shortly be greeting its fourth director of communications in eight months. Amber de Botton will be next to sip from what has become widely regarded as a poisoned chalice, following the departure of Adam Jones, Guto Harri and Jack Doyle since February. Let's hope she gets more time in the role. She at least comes with plenty of experience. De Botton is well-regarded among the lobby – judging from the Twitter reaction to her appointment – and will bring senior broadcast knowledge to the team, working closely with long standing Sunak aide Nerissa Chesterfield. This is not the first time de Botton has been connected with a No.

He's had his money worries in the past, but life seems to be pretty sweet for Nigel Farage right now. Less than eighteen months after announcing his retirement from frontline politics – claiming there was 'no money' in it – Farage's fortunes seem to be on the up. Newly published accounts for his company, Thorn In The Side Ltd, show he increased his total net assets by almost half a million pounds in a year, rising by more than £480,000 from just over £666,000 up until May 2021 to more than £1.1 million until May 2022. Now installed as the face of GB News, the former Ukip leader has developed a lucrative sideline in Cameo gigs.

Fire up the engine, the clickbait machine has gone into overdrive. Mr S doesn't spend much of his time watching America's Daily Show for obvious reasons: life is short and sermons are best delivered on a Sunday. Yet, stumbling across Monday's episode of the late-night satirical programme, Steerpike couldn't help but reflect on the sheer crassness of its host Trevor Noah: a man who has done for comedy what Harold Shipman did for palliative care. As predictable as he is tedious, Noah, inevitably, seized on the imagined 'backlash' which has – supposedly – greeted Rishi Sunak's appointment to the premiership.

What a first day. Just 24 hours after walking up Downing Street to enter that famous black door, Rishi Sunak was taking to the despatch box for his debut at Prime Ministers’ Questions. In an entertaining and highly-energetic exchange, the new leader signalled his willingness to make a break with the past, telling the Commons ‘mistakes were made, which is why I'm standing here today’. Finally, good old-fashioned Punch and Judy politics is back! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMZUutZcYSY But while Keir Starmer was gracious in praising Sunak for becoming the first British Asian premier, the Labour leader was not going to let his opposite counterpart off the hook that easily.

Joe Biden, the man whose diet seems to consist of ice cream and gaffes, has done it again. Having managed to irritate both Boris Johnson and Liz Truss with his European interventions, 'sleepy Joe' seems determined to make it a hattrick of Tory premiers. The septuagenarian president was addressing a Washington event on Monday evening to mark the beginning of Diwali, when he took the opportunity to congratulate Truss's successor on his 'groundbreaking achievement' of becoming the first Asian premier. Unfortunately, it seems that honour must instead go to a Mr Rasheed Soonak, a hitherto unknown British politician, rather than Rishi Sunak.

Does Nadhim Zahawi have the worst judgement in Tory politics? As recently as last year, the man could do no wrong: the boosterish vaccines minister who impressed at education, winning fans with his back story and media savvy. Yet since then, the millionaire pollster's winning touch seems to have deserted him. Indeed, Zahawi has been on something of a political Odyssey, without the happy ending. For, in his search for a patron Penelope, Zahawi seems to embrace every Scylla and be sucked into each Charybdis that he encounters on his way. Take the events of the last three months. On 5 July, he was appointed as Boris Johnson's Chancellor of the Exchequer, declaring that 'this is a team game, you play for the team and you deliver for the nation.

It was all going so well for Rishi. With a hundred MPs in the bag, Sunak looks to be the only candidate who will cruise through to the final round on Monday unlike his struggling rivals. But has Tobias Ellwood managed to pull defeat from the jaws of victory once again? The chairman of the defence select committee announced his endorsement for Sunak last night, declaring on Twitter that: The free mkt experiment is over – it's been a low point in our party's great history. The reset begins. Time for centrist, stable, fiscally responsible government offering credible domestic and international leadership. Honoured to be the 100th Tory MP to support.

And so the Liz Truss regime ends after a glorious 45 days in power. And, appropriately, in a government where humour and tragedy were so often intwined, the Daily Telegraph is now reporting that Truss intends to draw up her own resignation honours' list after a mere six weeks in office. Below is a list of Steerpike's own suggestions mixed up with the predictions of the paper of record. Try to separate the fact from fiction in this list... Mark Fullbrook - Truss's gaffe-prone chief of staff who became a weekly feature in the Sunday Times. Truss was the third candidate Fullbrook backed in the summer leadership race after the implosion of Nadhim Zahawi and the defenestration of Penny Mordaunt. Since then Midas Mark has found fame for his lobbying links and backfiring briefings.