Philip Patrick is an exiled Scot, who lectures at a Tokyo university and contributes to the Japan Times
As Tokyoites swelter in 95-degree heat and 80 per cent humidity – and companies are forced to cut back on the air-conditioning due to prices inflated by the Iran war – the salarymen, Japan's army of traditionally sober-suited office workers, have taken the drastic step of going ‘cazh’. This means not just short-sleeved, open-necked shirts but, at the urging of the local government, horror of horrors: T-shirts and shorts.
One of the joys of living in Japan is the lack of wokeness. It is not that it doesn’t exist - there is a Tokyo Pride, the odd Gaza protest, and gender equality is increasingly discussed - it’s simply that the concept doesn’t quite translate. Like the strikes that only take place at the weekend so as not to inconvenience customers, woke protesters here are tiny in number, generally polite and devoid of the threatening aggressiveness of the West. And diversity isn’t really a thing. Maybe that’s another reason tourist numbers have exploded.
It was all smiles for the press when Japanese prime minister Sanae Takaichi visited Keir Starmer at No. 10 on Sunday for trade and security talks. But how friendly it all was behind the scenes is another question. Doubts have been growing about the true state of the much-trumpeted new dawn of defence cooperation between Japan and the UK, and especially the future of the GCAP fighter jet project (a tripartite initiative with Italy to develop a sixth-generation stealth jet fighter by 2035). Such concerns have only intensified since the dramatic resignations of defence secretary John Healey and veterans minister Al Carns last week. Takaichi remains bullish for now.
From our US edition
Japanese cities can disappoint. Visitors stroll around hoping to be awe-struck by the dreamy spectacle of clip-clopping Geisha in their wooden geita, or barreling sumo wrestlers, or high-stockinged ninja girls (à la Kill Bill), and all against a Blade Runner backdrop, only to be confronted with mostly unremitting blandness. The constants are these: concrete, plastic, more concrete, more plastic, endless construction (one crappy shopping complex or mansion block replacing another), confusion, and noise. It can all seem dizzyingly homogenous. The defining feature of the Japanese city these days is the ubiquitous convenience store or "konbini," the scaled-down supermarkets/post offices/banks/…whatever the customer requires it to be.
I was robbed in Tokyo recently, an experience as unexpected as it was distressing. Despite long years in London, plus decades of rough and ready globetrotting to some of the sketchiest places on earth, I have never been a victim in any of these notorious crime hotspots (I feel snubbed especially by London), but this was the second such experience in supposedly the safest city in the world. What are the odds? The first time I dropped my wallet in a branch of the bargain bucket Don Quijote store and later received a phone call from the staff saying they had it, with ID cards intact but 50,000 yen gone. This time there was no phone call, it’s all gone, a similar amount of cash but far more worryingly, my entire suite of credit and ID cards.
The conflict in Iran is having serious knock-on effects around the world, from cancelled flights as jet fuel supplies run short to fears about the food supply as fertiliser prices increase. Japan, which gets 90 per cent of its oil from the Middle East, is as vulnerable as anyone, but the most serious consequence there, according to much of the local media at least, is the prospect of a Naptha drought. Naphtha (‘nafusa’ is the Japanese pronunciation) is the petroleum-derived chemical used, amongst other things, for the vivid colours used in food packaging.
Mairi McAllan, the SNP government’s Housing Minister, Nicola Sturgeon protege, and leader in waiting (according to the gossip), has been lambasted for claiming that Scotland has ‘too few migrants’. McAllan said on the BBC’s The Sunday Show this week that migration was ‘good and necessary for the economy’. In doing so, she sidestepped the self-evident truth that the 4,000 or so asylum seekers who live in Glasgow – the highest figure for any local authority in the UK – are not making a particularly great contribution to the economy. She also brushed over other problematic issues, such as integration, but that’s par for the course with the Scot Nats.
The Rolling Stones’ resilience is hard to get one’s head around. In a world of fleeting cultural phenomena, they just keep going… and going… and going. Earlier this month, under the pseudonym ‘The Cockroaches’, the band released 1,000 copies of a vinyl-only single (their 124th in their 65th year of rocking) ahead of a new studio album which will come out this summer. The combined age of the three surviving principals Mick Jagger, Keith Richards and Ronnie Wood is 242. The band are so venerable that even jokes about their age are getting old: their ‘Steel Wheels’ tour was dubbed ‘Steel Wheelchairs’ back in… 1989. Full disclosure: I’m hardly a Rolling Stones fan.
From our US edition
Tickets for this summer’s soccer World Cup are the most expensive in the tournament’s history. Or the history of any sporting event for that matter, with the possible exception of one-off extravaganzas like the Mayweather-Pacquiao showdown in 2015. The face value of tickets at this American tournament are a staggering five times higher that of the previous World Cup in Qatar. The most expensive seats for the final match have reached wallet-busting levels, affordable only to plutocrats and corporate boondogglers. And that’s just face value. What about the quaintly named secondary market? I occasionally peruse Fifa’s resale site, where the custodians of the game double dip from the buyer and seller to act as an official tout.
Ever fancied an extra family member or new best friend supplied on demand and available for as long as required? Ever dreamt you could summon up a surrogate to explain yourself out of an awkward romantic entanglement, or a presentable spouse to secure an employment opportunity (like Alan Partridge’s rented wife in the ‘Hamilton Water Breaks’ episode)? All of this, and more, is readily available in Japan, for a fee, courtesy of the ‘companionship agencies’. This decidedly odd business is the subject of the film Rental Family currently on release across the UK.
The Japanese national team put England to the samurai sword last night with a 1-0 victory at Wembley stadium. I am aware that opener might seem a bit corny, even offensively stereotypical, except that it does rather accurately conjure the rapid slashing passes that sliced through England’s defence for the winning goal. And it fits with the entirely honourable and respectful codified behaviour of the Japanese players, management, and fans. And as the Japanese call their own team ‘Samurai Blue,’ I plead not guilty. Japan didn’t qualify for the World Cup until 1998 Right after the match, the Japanese manager Hajime Moriyasu was interviewed on the national broadcaster NHK.
The Japanese are fascinated by the scandal concerning the aristocrat formerly known as Prince Andrew. The main themes resonate powerfully. The concepts of duty, shame and being a burden to one’s family are deeply woven into Japanese culture and so embedded in the language that it is hard to express yourself without touching on them. There are at least four expressions for ‘black sheep of the family’ in Japanese and one of the very first kanji I learned was for the word ‘muru-hachibu’ (eight against one) which means ‘sent to Coventry’ (shouldn’t that be Norfolk now?). There might also be a sense of ‘there but for the grace of god’ relief for the Japanese in watching a fellow constitutional monarchy floundering.
A corner of Glasgow’s historic Central Station was destroyed by fire last Sunday in scenes that resembled the 1970s disaster film Towering Inferno. The fire apparently started in a pop-up vape shop occupying a ground-level retail outlet and spread rapidly upwards. The dome of the 19th-century structure partially collapsed and 250 firefighters and a high-pressure hose drawing water from the River Clyde were needed to get the fire under control. A key architectural symbol of the former ‘second city of the empire’ was brought low. It wasn’t quite Glasgow’s Notre Dame moment, but desperately sad nonetheless. This is the fifth major fire of a historic building in Glasgow in recent years.
Yesterday afternoon, Rangers and Celtic played out a dismal 0-0 draw (‘eye-bleeding’, was journalist Tom English’s verdict) in the Scottish Cup quarter-final before the game was settled/put out of its misery on penalties. The game itself will soon be forgotten, what won’t be is the trouble that followed. Celtic’s ‘triumph’ provoked a pitch invasion by fans of both teams, some of whom were dressed in all black and masked like ninjas. A flare was launched into the Broomloan stand, and there are reports of a Celtic official being attacked. The pitch was soon cleared, and thankfully, no one was hurt, but it was a horrible look at the end of a horrible game. There could be serious repercussions.
How the mighty have fallen. Tottenham Hotspur, the fifth richest club in England, the ninth richest in the world, current Europa League Champions and a mere five years ago Super League aspirants, are now facing relegation to the not-so-super league, the Championship. After yet another dismal defeat last night (1-3 to Crystal Palace), our (full disclosure: I’m a fan) fifth loss in a row, Spurs sit 16th in the league, just a point ahead of West Ham and Nottingham Forest. As the commentator on TNT said, ‘the unthinkable has now become possible’. We thought we were too good for the Premier League.
One of the most serious issues in the well-filled in-tray of freshly endorsed Japanese prime minister Sanae Takaichi is Taiwan (which China claims as its own sovereign territory) and the lamentable state of Sino-Japanese relations. Takaichi provoked fury with comments in the Japanese parliament in November when she stated that were China to attack Taiwan, it would be interpreted as a ‘survival-threatening situation’ for Japan, implying a military response could follow. Under the terms of its constitution, Japan is severely limited in its military options but Takaichi appeared to be preparing more solid ground with her phrasing. A 2015 law changed the constitution allowing Japan to retaliate if the country faced a ‘life-threatening’ situation.
Well, she pulled it off. Japan’s prime minister Sanae Takaichi took the bold gamble of calling a general election after just two months in office but has been rewarded with a landslide victory. Over the weekend, her Liberal Democratic party’s coalition with the JIP (Japan Innovation party) easily secured two-thirds of the 465 seats in the lower house needed to push through most bills even if the upper chamber, where Takaichi does not have a majority, tries to stop her. The contrast between her position and that of the beleaguered Sir Keir Starmer, whom she met just over a week ago in Tokyo, could hardly be starker. One is enjoying the time of her political life, the other is fighting for his.
If Keir Starmer’s trip to China seemed unfathomable, then his follow-on visit to Tokyo today is even more mysterious. ‘Why on earth is he here?’ the Japanese are asking (those that have noticed he is here that is). There doesn’t seem to be any pressing business for the Prime Minister to discuss with his Japanese counterpart Sanae Takaichi right now. If it is just a courtesy call, then it’s rather a discourteous one since the timing, for her, is terrible. Wags here are calling the visit a 'boondoggle', claiming Starmer just wants to enjoy the cheap shopping Takaichi faces a make or break snap-election on 8 February. She is seeking to win an outright majority in the lower house and thus a mandate for her ambitious policy platform.
Is the Japanese economy about to crash? This once unthinkable prospect is now very much thinkable as concerns grow, and the cost of borrowing rises, in response to the bold but, to many, bewildering economic plans of prime minister Sanae Takaichi. It is a question of huge import, for if the Japanese economy collapses the consequences around the globe could be grave. The inevitable, slightly lazy comparison is with Liz Truss.
Japanese tennis star Naomi Osaka is at the centre of controversy again, losing friends and alienating people as she has done throughout her chequered career. The four-time major champion and current world number 16 has been accused of poor etiquette in a match against the Romanian Sorana Cîrstea at the Australian Open. Osaka was heard to exclaim ‘Come on!’ repeatedly as a sort of self-motivating exhortation in Thursday’s match. Nothing wrong with that, but one of her ‘come on!’s occurred between her opponent’s first and second serves and provoked Cîrstea to complain to the umpire.
