Nick Newman

‘If it’s world war three it’s time to head for the bunker!’

‘If the magic money tree can make a comeback, I have high hopes for the future.’

‘Let’s be realistic about these wishes – I’m not Nigel Farage’

‘In this one Mrs Goggins dies of old age before she gets compensation.’

‘Now I no longer eat food, I take photos of my fat jab.’

‘I tried following Nigel Farage and now I’m hooked.’

‘Don’t shoot till you see the whites of their flags.’

‘No sugar – it’s safer to eat the plastic toy!’

‘What’s harder to swallow – tariffs or chlorinated chicken?’

‘How would you like your steak cooked – rare, medium or Tesla?’

‘I wouldn’t want to be Tesla’s head of sales’

‘I’m off to America where they don’t mind if you’re a dangerous misogynist.’