Nick Newman

‘Our numbers are 173% accurate!’

‘Tell yonder peasant that the winter fuel allowance is cancelled.’

‘A few inappropriate remarks and it was back to waiting tables.’

‘We need you to be Archbishop of Canterbury.’

‘It’s a shot in the arm for anti-vaxxers.’

‘There are no brakes and it’s back-seat drive.’

‘Thanks to inheritance tax, it’s more of a “won’t”.’

‘Let us hope and pray it’s before the Budget.’

‘Alex Salmond insisted on independence.’

‘I hope this doesn’t degenerate into a Tory leadership contest.’

‘The boy who identifies as a wolf has eaten Granny!’

‘How much access can I get for a pair of trousers?’