Enjoy the sewage
From our UK edition
‘We don’t need to go all the way to the seaside to enjoy the sewage.’
Nick Newman
Wednesday
Wednesday
I’m going on holiday
From our UK edition
‘I’m going on holiday so you’ll have to get an AI doctor to go on strike for me.’
Wednesday
We’ve always had a bit of trouble stopping the boats
From our UK edition
‘We’ve always had a bit of trouble stopping the boats’
If he really wanted to save the planet, he’d throw soup at a Van Gogh
From our UK edition
‘If he really wanted to save the planet, he’d throw soup at a Van Gogh.’
Wednesday
The sight of a politician
From our UK edition
‘The sight of a politician in trouble always gets me going.’
Maybe there’s hope for the Tory party
From our UK edition
‘If they can bring us back to life, maybe there’s hope for the Tory party.’
Wednesday
Keir Starmer has learned to roll over, babble and crawl
From our UK edition
‘After one year Keir Starmer has learned to roll over, babble and crawl.’
Oh no!
From our UK edition
‘Oh no! Trump’s still coming!’
Wednesday
I hope to win
From our UK edition
Wednesday
If it’s world war three
From our UK edition
‘If it’s world war three it’s time to head for the bunker!’
Wednesday
If the magic money tree can make a comeback…
From our UK edition
‘If the magic money tree can make a comeback, I have high hopes for the future.’
Wednesday
Not Nigel Farage
From our UK edition
‘Let’s be realistic about these wishes – I’m not Nigel Farage’
Wednesday
Mrs Goggins dies of old age before she gets compensation
From our UK edition
‘In this one Mrs Goggins dies of old age before she gets compensation.’
Wednesday
I take photos of my fat jab
From our UK edition
‘Now I no longer eat food, I take photos of my fat jab.’
Stopped the boats
From our UK edition
‘I would have been more impressedif he’d stopped the boats.’
Wednesday
I tried following Nigel Farage and now I’m hooked
From our UK edition
‘I tried following Nigel Farage and now I’m hooked.’
Will there ever be peace between David and Brooklyn Beckham?
From our UK edition
‘Will there ever be peace between David and Brooklyn Beckham?’
Wednesday
Don’t shoot
From our UK edition
‘Don’t shoot till you see the whites of their flags.’
Nobody leaves the room
From our UK edition
‘Nobody leaves the room until we’ve agreed on watching Conclave.’
Tuesday
No sugar
From our UK edition
‘No sugar – it’s safer to eat the plastic toy!’
