Nick Newman

‘I’ve got tickets to the Tory conference – the fighting’s better.’

‘Baker Street... what are the schools like?’

‘Relax – the price you pay doesn’t involve VAT.’

‘I’m here to judge the abuse cases.’

‘...with violent Twitter storms from the west sweeping across the entire country.’

‘I went out looting but the shoplifters got there first.’

‘So they ignored the Nimbys and built it anyway.’

‘It was a good idea to ask for an umbrella in your cocktail.’

‘It’s all change now, Larry.’

‘If they’ve freed Julian Assange there’s hope for us all.’

‘These days it’s almost impossible to find a Tory.’