Mark Wood

‘Will you spend the rest of your lives with me in a house share?’

‘He’s multitasking.’

Pandora’s box

‘Now can I have one without your phones?’

‘I identify more with social media.’

‘The years before you can get them a phone are so demanding.’

‘What’s happened to us? We used to look at memes together.’

‘He’s refusing to eat his spinach. He has a point though – it may contain forever chemicals.’

‘I know it’s not crypto, but say thank you.’

‘I no longer have to listen to him. I encouraged him to start a podcast.’

‘It’s just like a doctor’s receptionist. Asks me all sorts of questions and still I can’t get an appointment.’

‘What’s your poison? Sugar, sweeteners or nanoplastics?’

‘In my wildest dreams I never thought I’d find someone like you.’