‘I just heard back from that job – after multiple interviews, I fell at the fourth fence.’
From our UK edition
Mark Wood
Wednesday
‘Mine’s self-driving.’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
‘You misgendered a grandchild? We’ve all been there.’
From our UK edition
Beware deliveries by drone
From our UK edition
Wednesday
‘… and how did your parents voting Reform make you feel?’
From our UK edition
Cash? Really?
From our UK edition
Wednesday
‘Apparently when you start school you can’t take your phone.’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
‘I’m getting hints of blood, five miles away.’
From our UK edition
‘He said he wanted to “Padel”.’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
‘Tell us more about this universal credit.’
From our UK edition
‘Why can’t they just accept we don’t want kids?’
From our UK edition
‘Didn’t you even bring him back a souvenir?’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
‘Don’t talk to me about the price of oil.’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
No, it’s your turn to bring us breakfast in bed
From our UK edition
Wednesday
‘You could go home, order it online and pick it up tomorrow. It’s cheaper with click and collect.’
From our UK edition
I’m going to try to go back to sleep
From our UK edition
Wednesday
Friday
Wednesday
‘How long do you think Keir Starmer can keep hanging by a thread?’
From our UK edition
Did you order cheese?
From our UK edition