Cockburn

Senate GOP leader Mitch McConnell has been out of the public eye for weeks, following a serious fall that hospitalized him. Now multiple sources confirm that Senators John Barrasso of Wyoming, John Cornyn of Texas and John Thune of South Dakota are actively reaching out to fellow Republican senators in efforts to prepare for an anticipated leadership vote — a vote that would occur upon announcement that McConnell would be retiring from his duties as leader, and presumably the Senate itself. One source says that Cornyn has been particularly active in his preparations, taking fellow senators with whom he has little in common to lunch in attempts to court them.

Everywhere she goes, Representative Katie Porter leaves chaos in her wake. From her home to her office to her local police department, the California congresswoman leaves no one unscarred. The protégé of Senator Elizabeth Warren, who went as far as to name one of her children “Elizabeth” after the senator, is currently rolling out a new book, titled I Swear: Politics is Messier Than My Minivan, and aiming for an open US Senate seat. But her long-rumored divorce filings are getting Congresswoman Porter the wrong sort of publicity. They contain accusations from her ex-husband that she would scream “get out of my face and leave me alone!” to her children and would take a “ceramic bowl of steaming hot potatoes and dump[] it on [her husband’s] head, burning [his] scalp.

Donald Trump is one boomer Laura Loomer can't rely on. The right-wing provocateur came a few thousand votes shy of winning a safe GOP House seat in Florida last year, running a campaign in a district that contains The Villages while relying on "Boomers for Loomer." But there weren’t enough boomers for Loomer last time — and President Trump is now wavering in his support for her, even though he’s both endorsed her and voted for her in one of her previous failed runs for Congress. In tried and true Trumpworld fashion, a crazy Trump idea (in this case, forcing his campaign staff to hire Loomer for an unknown role) was floated to a journalist he trusts (as always, Maggie Haberman) at an outlet he loves reading (in this instance, the New York Times).

The 2024 presidential election is heating up and with it comes the typical scramble of political consultants trying to hitch wagons to the winning campaign. The hottest gossip right now surrounds the Never Back Down PAC, which will support Florida governor Ron DeSantis in the event of a presidential run and has recently gobbled up some prominent Trump 2020 alumni. One of the key players in any Republican election is Jeff Roe, the head of Axiom Strategies and a top consultant to Senator Ted Cruz during the 2016 election. Axiom, which is one of the three major GOP consulting firms alongside Majority Strategies and Arena, played a major role in Virginia governor Glenn Youngkin's upset over Terry McAuliffe in 2021.

Gisele Fetterman, wife of Pennsylvania’s US senator John, has written an op-ed for Elle magazine, of which Cockburn is naturally an avid reader. The essence of her piece is: “I am perfect the way I am — and how dare you criticize me. Also I’m a volunteer firefighter.” John Fetterman, readers will recall, suffered a stroke last year during the Democratic primary for Senate against Conor Lamb. He won regardless, lining up a head-to-head with Republican candidate Dr. Oz. His one performance on the debate stage raised alarms, even from the mainstream media, over claims he was perfectly fine following his serious health scare and was ready to serve.

Cockburn was in Waco, Texas, this weekend, covering the first official rally of Trump's 2024 presidential campaign. He nearly passed out from both physical and political exhaustion. Despite using his press pass to bypass the line, Cockburn's populist streak led him to refrain from joining the other hacks ensconced on the press dais. After having his vape confiscated by the TSA, he chose instead to meander through the crowd of cranky boomers murmuring about the lack of water amid the sweltering Texas heat, which approached ninety degrees on the tarmac of the Waco Regional Airport. Cockburn could relate.