Cockburn

Cockburn

Mischief, mayhem and Washington gossip. Send tips and party invites to cockburn@thespectator.com.

Tim Ballard accused of sexual assault by multiple women

From our US edition

Do you have to be a predator to catch a predator? Two lawsuits filed this week make claim to that, accusing Tim Ballard, the self-proclaimed savior of hundreds of trafficked children who inspired the movie Sound of Freedom, of sexual assault. On Wednesday, the attorney representing five women who filed a lawsuit against Ballard and Operation Underground Railroad earlier this week confirmed that a second lawsuit has been filed. The latest suit, brought against Ballard by a couple, accuses him of sexual assault, financial damages and ruining the couple’s marriage.  “Tim has taken everything from me. He has purposefully destroyed my marriage, manipulated my wife, ruined the relationship with my kids and with my wife's family,” the plaintiff and husband, known as FT, said.

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nancy mace

Nancy Mace busted by the Capitol Hill fashion police

From our US edition

With her vote to oust Kevin McCarthy as speaker, Nancy Mace has made herself the pariah of the House. And after donning a red, Scarlet Letter-style “A” on her chest to reflect this as she headed into House GOP meetings this week, she caught the ire of the Capitol Hill Fashion Police too. One of her colleagues intimated the “A” must stand for “attention” — and lamented that “there wasn’t enough bling” on it and that “a light-up version would’ve been better.” In a Congress filled with all but literal skeletons, Mace stands out for her relative youth. One staffer had no problem with her choice of outfits this week.

Another nude Biden pic scandal?

From our US edition

There’s something about mirrors and cameras that the Biden men just can’t seem to resist — they are compelled to photograph their appendages. First it was Hunter’s heroin selfies. Now thirst traps from the president’s brother have been uncovered. If the trend continues, a leaked pic of Joe should be coming soon, but Cockburn prays we never see that dark day.   A nude selfie of Frank Biden, the president’s youngest brother, was discovered on a gay porn site, GuysWithiPhones.com, over the weekend. The picture, originally posted in 2018 when Frank was sixty-four, shows the tan, buff Biden posing in nothing but his glasses and a hat. Frank has some serious explaining to do to his partner of more than a decade, Mindy Ward.

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The fall of the MyPillow empire

From our US edition

If you’ve ever thought about buying a MyPillow, Cockburn advises that you do so now — they may not be around for much longer. After months of lawsuits, the company’s owner and Donald Trump devotee Mike Lindell announced last week that he is broke and millions of dollars behind in unpaid legal bills. "We've lost everything, every dime," Lindell told NBC News. "All of it is gone."  Last Thursday, the legal team representing Lindell in three defamation lawsuits filed to separate themselves from the company due to millions in unpaid bills. The pillow magnate said he is not trying to stiff his attorneys but simply cannot afford to pay them.

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Kristi Noem’s thirst traps

From our US edition

Kristi Noem isn’t playing coy with Donald Trump. The South Dakota governor wants to be the former president’s running mate and she’s sending almost daily thirst traps to catch his eye. Her latest attempt — cowgirl riding. In a move that will doubtless put Corey Lewandowski in heat, Noem dropped a video of herself Wednesday participating in her state’s annual Buffalo Roundup, where she helped round up over 15,000 bison for the state’s conservation efforts. A certified cowgirl in her chaps and wide-brimmed hat, Noem majestically rides the plains, her hair blowing in slow-motion behind her. If that doesn’t turn Trump’s head, Cockburn isn’t sure what will.

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Are Harry and Meghan making moves for a royal return?

From our US edition

It's been a year since Elizabeth II’s death and Harry and Meghan are looking to make their move. With the Queen — that old bulwark of tradition — finally out of the way, the couple has judged it safe enough to return to the royal fold. Their in: Prince Edward and Sophie, the Duchess of Edinburgh.    Cockburn can only imagine what ruin the attention-loving couple has in store for the British royal family. And while he wouldn’t inflict Harry and Meghan on his worst enemy, Cockburn can’t hide his excitement that they are finally making their way back across the pond.

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commander

Commander Biden should have been raised right

From our US edition

Another day, another Biden family member making an embarrassing faux pas. This time, it's Commander Biden, the less-than-faithful German Shepherd that roams the White House halls looking for flesh. Recent reports tell of the hound attacking multiple people indiscriminately, making no distinction between Secret Service and civilian White House staff. The MailOnline even snapped the feral beast as he nipped White House gardener Dale Haney. Some might look to lay blame on Commander, but Cockburn wants to you stop and take stock of the situation. As many of Cockburn's colleagues have reminded, there are no bad dogs. There are only bad dog owners. And Commander follows in the footsteps of the previous Biden Alsatian, Major, who was also rehomed after biting staff.

Democratic congressman suffers the consequences of his actions

From our US edition

It's time to move the seat of federal power to a Republican-run city until we can figure out what is going on. Monday night, Democratic congressman Henry Cuellar was carjacked at gunpoint in Navy Yard, a Washington, DC neighborhood just blocks away from the Capitol building. Cuellar's chief of staff Jacob Hochberg said that three men held up the congressman. Police recovered the vehicle, a white Honda, but are still tracking down the suspects. Cuellar is the second member of Congress to be the victim of random violent crime this year. In February, Democratic representative Angie Craig was attacked in an elevator at her Capitol Hill apartment building by a homeless man who demanded to be let into her home to use the restroom.

U.S. Rep. Henry Cuellar (D-TX) speaks on southern border security and illegal immigration, during a news conference at the U.S. Capitol (Photo by Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images)
hunter biden nudes

Meet Hunter Biden’s Eastern European girlfriends

From our US edition

Business isn’t the only thing that Hunter Biden likes to do in Ukraine. The president's son has an affinity for Eastern European women, especially those who happen to be sex workers. Treasury documents reveal Hunter's links to an Eastern European sex trafficking ring and falsified checks from his companies' account to prostitutes likely present at his cocaine-fueled nights. Cockburn must give Hunter credit for killing two birds — business and pleasure — with the same Ukrainian stone.  According to Suspicious Activity Reports reviewed by the MailOnline, Hunter’s accounts were being monitored as early as December 2019, after financial crime investigators at Wells Fargo found payments from Hunter and his companies to the suspected Eastern European prostitution ring.

Harry Reid haunts Bob Menendez

From our US edition

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has been dead for years, but one of his top aides may be haunting Senator Bob Menendez, using his perch as John Fetterman’s chief of staff to do it. Adam Jentleson, a combative former Reid staffer, is a mover and shaker in Fetterman’s office — and the Pennsylvanian was the first Senate Democrat to demand Menendez call it quits this week, in almost personal terms: the statement went as far as to compare the Democrat to Tony Soprano. But why would the sweatshirt-clad gentle giant care so much? It could have something to do with how Jentleson worked for Reid, one of the Iran Deal’s most important proponents.

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dianne feinstein

Flashback: Dianne Feinstein smokes schoolchildren in climate debate

From our US edition

Washington was stunned this morning to learn of the premature death of California senator Dianne Feinstein at the mere age of ninety. Feinstein was elected to the Senate in 1992 and was its longest serving female senator. She was a vocal advocate for gun control and headed the Senate Intelligence Committee for several years, leading a review of the CIA's interrogation and detention program in the aftermath of 9/11. But to Cockburn, the most iconic moment of Feinstein's storied career came in 2019, when she deployed the heft of her decades in Congress to smack down some urchins from the Sunrise Movement who were hectoring her about climate change. https://www.youtube.com/watch?

Let’s start another war to stop Antony Blinken singing

From our US edition

During a surprise musical performance on Wednesday night, secretary of state Antony Blinken tried to convince the State Department he’s got the soul of a blues singer. The stiff-armed, frog-throated diplomat jammed out to a less than rousing rendition of Muddy Waters’s “Hoochie Coochie Man” that left the room full of his subordinates cheering. “I couldn’t pass up tonight’s opportunity to combine music and diplomacy. Was a pleasure to launch the State Department’s new Global Music Diplomacy Initiative,” Blinken tweeted on Wednesday.  https://twitter.com/secblinken/status/1707230831528620109?s=46&t=KTzG0soGgiCKUdkuiUQOwA Blinken’s set followed performances from Dave Grohl of Nirvana and Foo Fighters and pop star Gayle.

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Welcome to the Travis Kelce chapter in Taylor Swift’s ‘Love Story’

From our US edition

After ten years of dating artsy Brits, Miss Americana has finally returned home. The affections of Taylor Swift, national sweetheart, have been claimed by one of our own — the vital, bearded, heartland hero, Travis Kelce. The Achaeans have at last returned from the bloodied shore of the Hellespont, bearing Helen among their prizes.  Whether Swift’s latest relationship with the Kansas City Chiefs tight end is a victory for the country depends on your political persuasion, but regardless the drama surrounding Swift and her latest beau has been a wild ride.   Rumors began to swirl about the singer's new romance after she was spotted cheering on Kelce at a Chiefs game this Sunday and — this seals the deal for Cockburn — sitting next to his mother.

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Conservatives should cheer Dove’s new ‘fat liberation’ spokesperson

From our US edition

Zyahna Bryant, a “fat acceptance” and Black Lives Matter activist, has been named the new face (and body?) of Dove, the company known primarily for its soaps. Conservatives are up in arms over the new campaign, and a Dylan Mulvaney-style boycott has begun among conservative consumers opposed to "wokeness" and also to Bryant’s role in attempting to get fellow University of Virginia student Morgan Bettinger expelled from UVA for “racist” comments she didn’t make. https://www.instagram.com/reel/CwnKlIGybvO/?utm_source=ig_embed&ig_rid=ddb08da2-6f29-4243-b80e-e93e92bba4ee Newsweek provides a brief recap of Bryant’s unsuccessful headhunt: “In the summer of 2020, Bryant claimed that she heard Bettinger refer to BLM protesters as ‘good speed bumps.

Eric Clapton raises beaucoup bucks for RFK, Jr.

From our US edition

Rocker and guitar legend Eric Clapton recently held a fundraiser concert for Robert F. Kennedy Jr., raising a whopping $2.2 million for the Democratic presidential candidate. The Cream and Yardbirds alum previously took heat from the media for coming out against the Covid vaccine mandates after claiming to experience adverse reactions that may have prevented him from playing guitar ever again. Cockburn can’t say he's shocked that Clapton found a friend in RFK, who has similarly taken plenty of heat for his position on the jab.  A Democrat in need is a friend indeed Sometimes it helps to have friends in high places — and in this case, control of Congress may hinge on one New Yorker’s push to get his buddy elected.

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Dave Portnoy catches WaPo reporter in a web of lies

From our US edition

Of all the things to lead to a Washington Post smackdown, Cockburn never would have expected it to happen over a pizza festival.   On Wednesday, Barstool Sports’s Dave Portnoy posted a call with a Washington Post reporter on social media. Portnoy had caught wind that the paper was running a hit piece on his One Bite Pizza Festival taking place in Brooklyn on Saturday and decided to hit back first.   https://twitter.com/stoolpresidente/status/1704574353415823411 Portnoy was tipped off by an email that reporter Emily Heil had sent to one the event’s largest sponsors.

A night at Marty Peretz’s book party

From our US edition

It would have been dereliction of duty for Cockburn to pass up a party for Marty, as the invitation cheerily put it. Marty is, of course, Martin Peretz, the former panjandrum of the New Republic, lecturer at Harvard, and champion of Israel, not to mention a host of other worthy causes. A revolving door of staffers and editors not only ensured a constant swirl of attention during his decades-long tenure at the helm of the magazine, but also kept it at the forefront of political debate about race, culture and foreign affairs. On Thursday night, Peretz greeted numerous well-wishers and offered brief remarks about his scintillating new memoir, The Controversialist, whose publication was overseen by Adam Bellow.

The radical mob is ruining Oktoberfest

From our US edition

Cockburn wouldn’t be so skeptical of the radical left nearly as much if they didn’t have an insatiable need to suck the joy out of holidays. First they replaced the Christmas tree with the Kwanzaa bush. Then they told us that tofurkey tastes just as good as the real thing. Now, they are attempting to crush Oktoberfest too.   The two-century-old German tradition, which kicked-off in Munich on September 16, is under attack for its skimpy costumes and environmental impact. The man leading the charge: Luitpold Rupprecht Heinrich, the seventy-two-year-old Prince of Bavaria whose great-grandfather was the last Bavarian king.   “When I see Chinese-made folk costumes made of plastic, pseudo-costumes with tight dirndls, then the whole thing becomes a carnival.

ccp Chinese President Xi Jinping delivers a speech during a ceremony at Tsinghua University ceremony (KENZABURO FUKUHARA/AFP via Getty Images)

Democrats bring a CCP-tied witness to education hearing

From our US edition

A hearing about the Chinese Communist Party’s funding of American K-12 education took a surprising turn when the Democrats’ witness — and several members of the House Education and Workforce Committee — took pains to conflate opposing foreign investments in public schools with Asian-American hatred. Gisela Perez Kusakawa, the executive director of the Asian American Scholar Forum (AASF), kicked off her remarks by linking concern over the Chinese Communist Party’s investments in public schools to America’s incarceration of Japanese-Americans during World War Two. Warning the Asian-American youth could end up as “collateral damage,” Kusakawa repeatedly conflated opposing the CCP with anti-Asian-American racism.

Donald Trump, the new King David

From our US edition

Jann Wenner: my feelings don’t care about your facts Sometimes it takes a dishonest newspaper to put a lying magazine in its place.   On Friday, the New York Times published an interview with Rolling Stone founder Jann Wenner — and the Gray Lady did not hold back. Interviewer David Marchese asked Wenner to defend the magazine’s now discredited University of Virginia rape story, accusing the publication of putting a “juicy story” ahead of the truth.   Wenner was not all too concerned with the accusations. “The University of Virginia story was not a failure of intent, or an attempt to be loose with the facts.

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